


Team Bonding

by futuremrsgubler



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blindfolds, Dirty Talk, Dom Spencer Reid, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Handcuffs, Hotel Sex, Jealous Spencer Reid, Kinky, Light Dom/sub, Multi, Office Sex, Orgasm, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pining Aaron Hotchner, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Reader-Insert, Sex, Simultaneous Orgasm, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Top Aaron Hotchner, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:20:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 49,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25984267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuremrsgubler/pseuds/futuremrsgubler
Summary: "Dating? Do you mean dating us both at the same time?""I mean, it wouldn't be the worst idea..."In which y/n is faced with a choice she's not quite ready to make yet. Why choose one when you could have them both?
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader, Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 33
Kudos: 294





	1. Limelight

It felt like the team hadn't stopped working for the past three months. Every time a case ended, JJ walked through the door holding a new file. Nobody had gotten more than one night in a row of sleep at their own house, let alone any free time for something other than work. Because of that, Hotch had organized a "team bonding" camping trip at a national park a few hours away from the case you had just finished.

Everyone grabbed their luggage and headed out of the hotel to the two large SUVs that waited for you. Because of all the suitcases and camping supplies, the team would have to split up. Emily, Rossi, and Morgan all got into one car and Penelope followed, wanting to stay with Derek. That left Spencer, JJ, Hotch, and you for the second car.

"I'll drive" JJ said while opening the door to the driver's seat.

Spencer started walking towards the passenger door, but before he reached it Hotch opened it and climbed in. That left him and you to sit in the backseat. You two were good friends, just as close as everyone else on the team. To be honest, you always thought he was hot. But you would never act on it because you worked together and wanted to keep things professional. Also, you were pretty sure he saw you as just a friend. Which you were okay with considering you didn't want to ruin your close friendship or work.

A few minutes into the ride Hotch started answering emails, Spencer pulled out a book, and you started talking to JJ about a sale at some store you both liked.

When you were almost to the campsite she asked, "Hey, y/n, I forgot to ask you before. How did that date go with...what was his name? Liam?"  
You had really been hoping she wouldn't bring that up. JJ was the only one that knew about it, and even still all she knew was that you went. It was so unimportant, and honestly somewhat embarrassing, you hadn't felt the need to tell any of her other friends, and especially not Hotch or Reid.

Reid looked away from his book and at you for a split second waiting for a response. Hotch had finished his emails and was chiming into yours and JJ's conversation for the past few minutes. Now he was quiet, but he seemed to still be listening.

Liam was a nice guy. That was about it. He was just like every other guy you met. He took you to the movies, bought you popcorn, and kissed you in the theater. He invited you back to his place and you agreed to go since you hadn't got much action in the busy past few months. When you were in bed, once again he was just like every other guy you had gone out with. He tried his best but let's just say you didn't really...enjoy yourself.

Emily, JJ, and Penelope all knew about the trouble you were having in bed. Liam wasn't the first guy to disappoint, for a while now the only way you finished was by yourself. It was nice to have people to talk with about it, but you were starting to get seriously frustrated.  
"Trust me, there's nothing to hear about. We went to the movies then back to his place and it was the same as with the ones before him."  
You tried to be discreet about what you were referring to, hoping JJ would understand. Even though you hadn't told Spencer, Hotch, or Morgan about the problems you were having, they still found out. Regardless, you didn't want to directly talk about your sex life in front of them. JJ seemed to catch on, so she made a small comment about how you'll find someone better soon and then changed the subject. You hadn't noticed, but despite Spencer reading and Hotch gazing out the window they had both been listening and both picked up on what you were talking about.

~

Hotch didn't want to be nosy, but word got around fast through the team. He felt bad for y/n. She was clearly beautiful and one of the most caring, generous people he knew. He remembered when he first met her a couple years back, he couldn't believe she didn't have a boyfriend. Their job didn't exactly allow for lots of free time so it was understandable that she had been having a hard time finding something steady. What he couldn't understand is how after going on so many dates, nobody knew how to satisfy her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, i have the first 12 chapters of this fic already posted on wattpad, but i figured i'd post it here too! this is my first time using ao3 to write so the formatting might not be perfect


	2. Haunted

When the car parked right in front of the campsite, you noticed two tents were already put together. Emily, Rossi, Derek, and Penelope had already set up almost everything from their car. When Hotch stepped out of the car, Dave asked if he wanted to share one of the tents with him and Morgan. Hotch nodded his head and Emily explained,

"We must have forgotten to pack one of the tents, there's only three. JJ, Reid, and y/n one of you will have to share with me and Garcia while the other two take the third tent."

Reid opted out since he was closer to you and JJ than Garcia or Prentiss. Even though you loved Spencer, you'd be more comfortable in a tent with the girls rather than him since you'd have to change in there and all. But considering JJ was married, you figured it'd be best if you took one for the team.

"JJ, I'll take the third tent with Spence if you want."

JJ thanked you and everyone started bringing their bags out to the tents.  
-  
After unpacking, Rossi made burgers and everyone ate and talked around one of the picnic tables on the site. When you finished dinner, it had started to get chilly outside so everyone decided to make a campfire. You huddled around and roasted marshmallows while Spencer told some old ghost story.

It was around 11pm when everyone went to their tents for bed. You and Reid took turns changing inside while the other stood right outside the tent. The tents were small, but big enough for you and Spencer to keep to yourselves.

"It's freezing in here. Did we seriously only bring two little blankets for each of us?"

Spencer let out a small laugh, but didn't say anything back.

"Hey Spence, sorry if this is weird but do you mind if I...scooch a little closer? I'm so cold and maybe if we share our blankets it won't be so bad." You immediately realized this might be coming off the wrong way. But you were good friends and really cold so it shouldn't be weird, right?

He hesitated for a minute before speaking, "Uh...uhm yeah sure. I'm actually pretty cold myself."

With that, you slid over until you were almost touching. You both fell asleep within minutes thanks to the extra warmth.  
-  
You woke up to someone talking and moving next to you. It was still dark outside, so you knew Spencer wasn't waking up for the day. It took you a minute before realizing he was...crying?

"Please, please I'll do anything. I know you don't want to hurt me, I can help you. Please just let me-" he let out in between tears. He was shaking and curling his body as if someone were hitting him.

"Spence...Spencer?" You said concerned as you touched his arm.

"Spencer it's okay, you're okay. You're safe, you're here with me, y/n." You wrapped an arm around him while lightly shaking him to try and get him to wake up.

"Y/n?" He said in a half asleep voice, turning his head to face you.

"Oh... oh shit!" He said and quickly sat up as you dropped your arm from around his body. "I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Or wake you up."

"No, you didn't scare me. Don't worry about it at all...are you okay though Spence? Was that about..." Your voice trailed off. After being kidnapped, Spencer insisted he was okay and getting his own help anytime anyone mentioned it. The whole team had pushed at first, but after a few months of him saying he was in therapy everyone let it go. At this point, it had been years and he never brought it up so you hadn't considered how much it could still be affecting him.

He nodded his head, "It used to happen every night. Only a few times a year now. I'm sorry though I should've warned you."

"It's okay, just rest." You said while rubbing his arm.

Spencer nodded his head and laid down again. You curled up right next to him again, but this time you were touching.


	3. The Bittersweet Science

When you woke up, Spencer's head was resting on your chest. You were cuddled together, he must not have moved much since he fell asleep. You stared at him for a minute, examining his soft skin and the way waves of his hair fell perfectly on his face. He looked like an angel sleeping so peacefully right next to you. Even though you were thinking about how cute he looked, you knew sleeping all cuddled up wasn't romantic. He was scared and having flashbacks, and you tried to comfort him even though you wished there was more you could do. You were being a friend when he needed one, you would've done that for anyone on the team, right?

You slid into your slippers and unzipped the tent as quietly as possible, trying to not wake up Spencer. When you stepped outside you saw Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan drinking coffee around the table. JJ was bent down next to them tying her running shoes. Other than Rossi, they all were dressed like they were about to workout.

"Sleep well y/n?" Rossi asked as you walked over to them.

"About as good as you can when you're camping" you replied with a smile on your face. "Are you guys going somewhere?"

"The three of us are going running on a trail around here," JJ said motioning to Morgan and Hotch. "You should come with us! We aren't leaving for a couple more minutes."

You agreed to go and grabbed an apple from the food box after Rossi said you shouldn't exercise on an empty stomach. You headed back to the tent, again being as quiet as you could since Reid was still asleep. "Hmm," you thought to yourself. Spencer had a rough night, you weren't going to wake him up to ask him to step outside while you changed. You decided the chances of him waking up while you were changing were fairly low, you would just have to be quick. You opened your bag and pulled out a black sports bra, nike pros, and running shoes. You faced away from Reid while changing, just in case. Then you threw in the mini silver hoop earrings you always wore. Finally, you pulled your hair into a low ponytail and headed back out. You had been in such a rush you hadn't even noticed when Spencer woke up.

-

You had been jogging for about 30 minutes, JJ and Derek next to each other, you and Hotch just a few steps behind. Hotch needed water, so you stopped with him at a water fountain on the trail. JJ and Morgan hadn't noticed, so they kept running and were a couple minutes ahead now. About 5 minutes after the stop for water, you let out a yelp and squatted down. The other two were too far ahead to hear it.

"Y/l/n! What happened, are you alright?" Hotch said as he crouched down next to you.

"There's...there's something sharp in my foot. I think it went through my shoe." You let out with a wince as Hotch put his hand on your shoulder to keep you steady.

"Let me take a look."

You sat down on the dirt path as he gently grabbed your foot. He couldn't see anything on the bottom of your shoe, so he helped take it off with as little pain as possible. When your foot was bare, he saw a little bit of bleeding around a huge sharp splinter.

"Luckily it's just a splinter, but it's pretty big. We should be able to take care of it back at the campsite. Can you walk?"

You picked up the shoe you had taken off and used his arm for balance as you both slowly stood up, making sure to put all your weight on your good foot. He wrapped his arm under your shoulder to try and help you walk. After a minute of limping and hardly moving at all, Hotch realized it would take over an hour to get back this way.

"Here, let me carry you." He said with a straight face reaching one arm behind your back and the other beneath your knees.

"Hotch we ran a good distance, are you sure you'll be okay carrying me?"

He nodded his head as you pushed your feet off the ground and he lifted you up. You wrapped your arms around his neck for support, one shoe still in your hand.

~

Spencer hadn't meant to look at her ass, he really hadn't. He couldn't control when he woke up. He first opened his eyes when y/n started taking off the sweatpants she slept in. He wasn't completely awake, he hardly even realized what was happening. She was facing away from him so she had no idea he was awake, and if she did it probably would make this trip a lot more awkward. Reid closed his eyes again as she pulled on a pair of athletic shorts. He felt...guilty. She was so nice to him last night and this was how he repaid her? He tried to shake it off, it was an accident, he had no idea she would be changing when he woke up.

~

Now, he sat reading and sipping coffee at the table in the center of the campsite. Emily, Penelope, and Rossi had left for a walk a few minutes ago so he was alone at the site. He looked up for a second, saw Hotch carrying y/n, and ran over to them.

"What happened? Y/n, are you okay?" Spencer asked and you nodded your head.

"Just a splinter" You tried to smile at him despite the pain.

"Reid, get me the first aid kit from the car so I can get it out." Hotch ordered as he set you down on the bench of the table.

-

After pulling the splinter and cleaning up/bandaging her foot Hotch texted JJ to tell her you headed back in case they were looking for you two. Both groups returned a couple minutes apart, and you had to explain twice that you were completely fine and it was just a splinter. Since you had gotten back to the campsite though, Hotch seemed a bit on edge.

"Everything okay man?" Morgan asked as he walked over to Hotch who was standing a few feet away from the group, staring at y/n.

"I just don't like to see anyone on my team get hurt."

-

After lunch, everyone laid low and hung out around the campsite. Right before sunset, Garcia convinced the team to take a 10 minute walk to a lookout point another camper had suggested to her.

"I know you hurt your foot y/n, but maybe someone could carry you or at least help you walk?" Penelope said, hoping you would still come.

"If I have to I'll have someone help but don't worry Penny I wouldn't go if I thought I couldn't do it. 10 minutes isn't too far."

When you started the walk over, you quickly fell to the back of the group. You were limping because your foot was still sore, but you really were alright. Reid slowed down his pace and soon he was walking right next to you.

"It's okay to ask for help you know."

You rolled your eyes, "Really I'm fine Spence, I would've stayed back if I didn't think I was."

"Look just let me help you for a minute and tell me if you want me to stop." He reached his arm around your back and under your arm to help support you as you walked. As much as you hated to admit it, your foot did feel better with his help. It was cute to see Reid wanting to help you.

Hotch turned around to see if y/n had fallen behind, and when he did he saw her and Spencer behind everyone else. He had his arm all over her and they were looking at each other, smiling and laughing. Reid was a good kid, and Hotch knew that. So why did the image of them together make him so angry?


	4. The Instincts

Penelope had been right, the lookout spot was beautiful, especially at sunset. You all talked as you watched the sun go down. When it was almost completely gone, everyone headed back hoping to get there before it was dark.

Garcia was the first one to step back onto the campsite and as soon as she did she gasped. "Oh no!"

Everyone else hurried around her to see what had happened. When you looked around, you saw that one of the tents was ripped apart and one of the food boxes was opened. Luckily only a few bags of chips were missing. An animal must have been able to smell the food. It took you a minute before realizing the tent that was ruined had been Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi's. The group had gone from thinking they brought 4 tents to only having 2.

"I guess we'll have to readjust the sleeping arrangements," Prentiss said, looking at everyone.

"Mind if I join you and the ladies babygirl?" Derek asked Garcia.

She shook her head and headed over to help get his things out from the destroyed tent. That made 4 of them in the other tent, and since it was just you and Reid in the remaining one...

"I guess that leaves Rossi and I to join y/n and Reid." Hotch turned to you, "Are you alright with this, since you'll be the only girl in our tent? I can have Morgan switch with you, if you'd rather be with Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia."

"No I'm fine with it. Besides, Derek already put his things in that tent and my stuff is still in the one I slept in last night." You really would be fine with it, Rossi was like an uncle to you. With Reid, you were practically best friends and you already slept right next to him last night. As for Hotch...when you first joined the team he was like a father figure to you. But when Haley died, you got closer to him. You could tell he was stressed out trying to balance things at the office and with Jack. You felt like you owed it to him to at least try and make his life a little easier. Sometimes he would let you finish up his paperwork so he could get home to Jack sooner. But other times he would ask you to pick up Jack from daycare and hangout with him until he got home. Jack was always comfortable with you. He loved playing games and he would beg Hotch to ask you to come over. As time went on, Hotch stopped asking you to do extra things around the office and it just became a habit for you to watch Jack a couple times a week. You would stay for dinner, and sometimes if it got too late Hotch insisted you stay overnight because it would be too unsafe to drive. He always offered you his bed and said he'd sleep on the couch, but you refused. You would take the couch and leave the next morning. It never felt weird or uncomfortable, you knew Jack needed family other than his dad. It was almost like you were a big sister to him. So considering you'd slept on his couch, sleeping in a tent with Hotch wouldn't be too weird. Nobody else on the team knew about how close you two were or the hanging out with Jack and staying overnight. You planned to keep it that way. You knew you could trust all of them, but you didn't want them coming up with any crazy ideas. And Hotch had been on the team a lot longer than you, the last thing you wanted was for him to be uncomfortable around them.

-

Just like the night before, everyone ate dinner and hung out around the campfire before heading in for bed. You let the guys change first while you waited outside, then they headed out and you went in. You put on gray sweatpants, a thin white spaghetti strap tank top, and some fuzzy socks. You peeked your head out and let the guys know they could come back in now.

Rossi headed over to the far right corner, while Hotch went over to the far left. Spencer looked between them and laid on the side closer to Rossi. The last spot left was in between Reid and Hotch. You thought the tent had been small before, but now with two more people and their luggage it seemed tiny. You were pretty sure Rossi was already snoring, just seconds after he lied down. Spencer watched as you tiptoed over the suitcases and to the blue sleeping bag that remained. When your fuzzy sock covered feet stepped on the end of the sleeping bag you slipped and almost fell backwards.

You felt a firm hand on your lower back and another on your arm. "Careful," Hotch said, almost smiling at you.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. That was fucking embarrassing.

You could feel your cheeks burning and turning bright pink. You didn't care how close you were with the people inside this tent, you were a klutz. You tried to laugh it off by slightly giggling when you told him thanks but it didn't really work. You laid down, got under the blankets and stared at the roof of the tent for a few minutes before drifting off.

~

Spencer had been watching y/n as she was about to walk over to her sleeping bag. He saw as she started falling and lifted up to try and catch her, but before he could Hotch did. He laid down again hoping nobody noticed his failed attempt to help her. He watched them though, he didn't like how low on her back Hotch's hand was. Spencer didn't know what was wrong with him. Y/n was one of his best friends, that was all. Had something in him changed since he accidentally saw her changing this morning? Ugh speaking of that he still felt guilty about it. No, nothing changed; it was probably just his guilt making him uncomfortable. But if that was true, why did he hate it when Hotch smiled at her and she laughed back?


	5. Reflection of Desire

When you woke up, you felt the heat of someone else next to you. Since you had slept between Hotch and Spencer, you really hoped this was Spencer. You opened your eyes. It was Hotch. At first, you thought he had accidentally rolled closer to you in his sleep. Until you saw that you were pushing him against the side of the tent. It was you that had rolled around in your sleep. He was lying on his back with his head facing you. You were lying on your stomach, your head facing him too.

Oh god...oh my god not again

You thought to yourself as you noticed your arm closest to him was laid over his chest. This trip hadn't necessarily been bad so far, just very very embarrassing for you. You pulled your arm off him as quickly as you could and sat up. You had no idea what had gotten into your subconscious mind that allowed you to think it was okay to put your arm around Hotch while you both were sleeping. Of course you thought he was attractive, but he was also your boss. It's not like you were used to sleeping in a bed with him, you always slept on the couch when you stayed over. You got up, put on your slippers, and headed out of the tent to get some coffee and shake off that experience.

Reid was an early bird, he always had been. For the first few seconds when he woke up, he felt better about the crazy thoughts he was having last night. He assured himself he only liked y/n as a friend and Hotch had just helped her out, there was nothing going on between them. He felt calm, like his normal self again. Until he opened his eyes. He looked around and saw y/n sleeping right next to Hotch, with her arm over him. His body filled with rage and once again he asked himself why. Yesterday morning he woke up with her cuddled next to him, and now Hotch would? He could've sworn he made up whatever was going on between them two, but maybe he was right before. Maybe they were seeing each other and didn't want anyone on the team to know. If they were, why should Reid care? As soon as the thought crossed his mind he hated himself. He had feelings for y/n. Why hadn't he realized it until now? Now she might be with someone and there was nothing he could do about it. What if that was the problem exactly? Reid had never cared when y/n told stories about her one night stands and bad dates because she had no intention of seeing those men again. He was jealous because if she was with Hotch, it was serious, and nothing like all the other guys.

~

Hotch woke up before y/n did, but when he saw her arm around him he didn't move and pretended to still be asleep. It was probably just a habit from sleeping next to someone. But what if...

No.

She was y/n and he was Hotch. She was so helpful with Jack, and he was her superior. He knew she felt nothing for him, still that didn't stop him from wondering if he felt something for her.

~

When you stepped outside you joined everyone from the other tent for breakfast and coffee at the table. As you ate and talked, the other 3 eventually came out and ate too. JJ said there was a place nearby that had hot springs and little waterfalls. Her and Garcia really wanted to go, it sounded fun to you too so when everyone finished eating you all went back to the tents to change.

When it was your turn to change, you opened your bag and grabbed an emerald green two piece bathing suit. The top was just two simple triangles that tied around your neck and the bottoms were plain too, tying at the sides of your hips. You put it on and then black cotton shorts and a light pink cropped tank. You left your hair down, put on some mascara then placed sunscreen, chapstick, your towel, and a book into your tote bag. You threw your rectangle sunglasses on the top of your head before walking out to join the others in the car.

-

When you got to the hot springs, you laid out your towel and set your bag on top of it. Morgan threw his shirt on the ground and jumped right in. Everyone else was busy settling their things when you took off your shirt and shorts to put on sunscreen.

~

"Holy fuck" Spencer thought to himself as he watched y/n undress until she was only in her bathing suit. He knew she was hot but after admitting to himself that he had feelings for her it was completely different.

"Can someone help me put sunscreen on my back?" Y/n asked looking around the group and holding out the bottle for anyone to grab.

Reid saw Hotch start to walk over, so he lunged forward and grabbed the bottle from y/n's hand. Hotch gave him a look and then walked back to where he was before. As he started rubbing the lotion on her back, Spencer slightly massaged her. He respected Hotch, but he wasn't gonna let him have y/n without a fight.

~

"Uhh everything okay Spence?" You asked as he put the lotion on your back.

"Yep all good," Spencer said as he peeked his head over your shoulder and gave you a smile.

After a couple of minutes of letting the sunscreen dry, you joined Morgan and Prentiss in the water. You floated on your back while the warm rays of sun hit your skin. It felt so peaceful. And then someone splashed you. You opened your eyes to see Reid and Derek splashing water at you and Prentiss. In retaliation, the both of you started splashing back while all four of you laughed. As the water fight carried on, eventually you felt Spencer grab your waist, lift you out of the water and toss you. You looked at him in disbelief, he was a lot stronger than you had expected. As more of the team joined you in the water the splashing and laughing continued. After a little while you got out to get a drink of water and walked over to the towels where only Hotch sat.

As you walked over and sat down next to him he said, "Look at this picture Jessica sent me," as he turned his phone to face you. You immediately smiled as you saw the picture of Jack and Jessica's dog.

"He's too cute, I can't wait to see him when we get back."

You hadn't heard someone walking up from behind you. "Is there something going on between you two? I wasn't going to say anything but it just feels like something is different." It was Reid.

Your eyes widened after he spoke. "Spence are you crazy? You think we're seeing each other because Hotch showed me a picture of his son?" You were very annoyed. Of course you had occasionally thought about Hotch like that before, but it was just because you thought he was hot. Who didn't? That didn't mean you had feelings for him. And who was Spencer to be asking questions like that? Even if you were dating Hotch, you wouldn't want everyone to know. You really hoped Hotch didn't get paranoid about the others and start shutting you out.

"Reid I don't think that's an appropriate question to ask." Hotch tried to defend the two of you a little more calmly than you had.

Spencer felt embarrassed and shook his head, "I- I have no idea what got into me, I'm sorry. I had no right asking that, I just felt like something was off." He turned and started to walk away.

You sighed and stood up to start walking after him. "Spence, what is going on with you? All day you haven't been acting like yourself."

"I know I know, it's just that-" He paused as if he knew what he wanted to say but couldn't. "It's nothing okay, I'm sorry again." He headed back to the water where the others were. At this point you were extremely confused. Your friendship with Hotch might be ruined because of Reid's accusation and for some reason Spencer was overly concerned with your love life.

-

hey i hope you're enjoying the story so far! i have a plan for how i want this to go but let me know if u have any suggestions


	6. Compulsion

For the next few hours, you were uncomfortable and annoyed. You were pretty sure Hotch and Reid were too. You had been avoiding Hotch, suddenly afraid you might have been coming across as wanting to be more than friends. As for Spencer, you weren't exactly avoiding him, but you knew something was wrong and it seemed like he didn't want to talk to you about it. At the same time, you could tell the two of them weren't talking either.

It was 5pm when you all returned to the campsite. You immediately headed to the showers to freshen up before dinner. As you were washing your hair you were reminded of the sleeping arrangements. It would already be weird enough having to sleep next to Hotch after being accused of having a relationship with him. It was going to be even worse having Reid on the other side of you watching your every move. You sighed as you rinsed out your hair and washed your body. When you finished, you dried off and put on black sweatpants and a dark gray tshirt with the name of your old high school on it. You combed through your hair and started walking back to the site, hoping things would go back to normal soon. You got back to see JJ and Hotch making dinner and you walked over to the table to sit with Emily and Penelope.

"Do either of you know what's going on between Reid and Hotch? I've never seen them act this way before" Penelope asked you and Prentiss.

You shook your head, not wanting to tell them about what happened earlier. You knew nobody else would agree with Spencer's theory, but they would probably still tease you and Hotch and that was the last thing you wanted.

Tired from the past few days, everyone went to bed early. And when you closed your eyes you really hoped you wouldn't wake up with your arms around anyone.

-

"Y/n, wake up. We have to go, Hotch got a new case 30 minutes from here."

You heard the voice and felt them gently shake your arm. "Wha- What are you talking about? We're on a trip" you grumbled as your eyes opened to see Spencer leaning over you with his hand on your arm.

"The trip's cut early...pack up your stuff and get ready, coffee's waiting outside." You heard him leave, unzipping the tent to step out and then closing it again.

Ugh. So much for any relaxation. Once you had enough energy you lifted yourself up and walked over to your bag. You put on black work pants, a dark purple button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and black mini heels. You grabbed your makeup bag and put on some mascara and concealer, then pinned back two small pieces from the front of your hair. You tried your best to not look like you had been sleeping on the hard ground for the past three nights. When you walked outside with your bag in hand, you saw everyone already taking down the other tent and loading up the cars.

"Rossi and I will brief everyone in the cars, try to eat something before we get there. I have a feeling we won't have get downtime", Hotch said to everyone and then carried a few more bags to the cars.

-

By the time you got to the hotel, it was 10pm. The team had spent the entire day at the police department starting to build a profile. Luckily for you, nothing seemed to have changed between you and Hotch. You did catch him staring at you a couple times but you just brushed it off. Spencer was avoiding you, you were pretty sure he still felt bad about yesterday.

Everyone's rooms were next to each other so you all rode the elevator up together and said goodnight as you opened your doors. You kicked off your shoes, pulled the rubber band out of your hair, and threw yourself onto the bed. It had been a long day and you were exhausted. You had just started to unbutton the top of your shirt when there was a knock on your door. You dragged yourself up and looked through the peephole to see Hotch standing there.

~

As soon as he knocked, he wondered if he had just made a mistake. Hotch knew there were more feelings than friendship between him and y/n, on his part at least. There were so many of those late nights when he wished she would sleep in his bed next to him instead of on the couch. So many times he wished he could tell her the truth about how he felt. But it was wrong, he was her boss and he would never want her to feel pressured because of that. Still, after what Reid said the other day and the jealousy he felt when he saw her talking to other guys, he felt like he had to be honest with her.

~

You opened the door and stared at each other for a moment, unsure of what to say. You noticed he had already taken off his tie and jacket, and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned. You realized it was probably about work or Jack so you asked, "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine. I wanted to talk to you about something though, would you mind if I came in?"

You nodded and opened the door more, sliding out of the way for him to enter. You shut the door and turned around to see him sitting on the edge of your bed. You sat next to him, waiting to hear what he would say. It felt like hours went by before he started talking.

"Over the years you've been with this team, I've probably spent more time with you than anyone else. I value you as an agent, but also as a friend who has helped me and Jack. We've grown close and because of everything you've done for me, I would never want to jeopardize our friendship."

You weren't sure where this was headed. Why would he need to come sit down in your room to tell you how much he appreciated you? Unless...oh. You thought to yourself- no, that would be crazy.

As the words came out of his mouth, you stared at him. He looked up and analyzed your facial expression, then he shifted his leg to be less than an inch away from yours.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable in any way. I know this is wrong since I'm your superior... but, y/n, you make me feel a way I haven't felt in a very long time. The way you tilt your head back when you laugh, the little jokes you makes, and the way you've been a friend to me. It makes me wish we could be more. I completely understand if you don't feel the same way, if you don't I'll walk out right now and we can pretend this never happened." He had been avoiding your emerald green eyes, but now he looked right into them.

Thoughts rushed through your head at a thousand miles a second. Ever since yesterday, you had started to wonder if there was something going on but neither of you wanted to admit it. You remembered all the times you told yourself it would never work. What would happen if you dated and broke up? One of you would have to leave the team. As you thought of all the reasons it wouldn't work, you felt your legs touching now. And for once in your life you decided to act on your feelings instead of what your head was telling you.

You grabbed his hand that was closest to you, "Aaron.." you began to speak but when he looked into your eyes you melted. You immediately leaned in closer, he placed his hand on your cheek and pulled you towards him until your lips crashed together. The touch of his lips sent all rational thought through the window. You felt his tongue slowly enter your mouth and you reached your hand to the back of his head and let it brush through his hair. His soft lips pulled at your mouth as you let out a soft moan. The kiss became more passionate as you swung one leg on each side of him so you straddled him. He started kissing your neck sucking on the soft skin, you slowly moved your hips against him in return. As his lips returned to yours, you put both your hands on the sides of his face and he shoved one of his hands through your hair.

You both jumped apart when you heard a knock on your door.


	7. The Pact

You and Hotch stared at the door.

After a few seconds you started walking towards it while trying to smooth your hair down. You didn't bother checking who it was, it was probably one of the housekeepers dropping off towels or something. You opened the door the slightest bit so that nobody could see into the room past you. It was definitely not housekeeping.

You tried to keep your eyes from popping out of your head, "S-spencer?"

"I know it's late, I hope I'm not intruding. But I need to tell you something."

This could not be happening, certainly not while Hotch sat less than 10 feet away from you and after you had just made out with him. Luckily, Reid couldn't see into your room because of how little you had opened the door. You tried not to imagine Hotch sitting there listening to whatever conversation was about to happen.

"Spence it's late maybe we can just talk tomor-"

"I'll be quick I promise. Y/n I know we work together and I love being your friend but lately I've been beginning to wonder if I feel more than that. It isn't normal to get jealous when you see one of your friends talking to another guy. If you don't feel the same way I understand, but if you do would it really be so bad to give us a try?"

You were at a complete loss. You loved Hotch and Reid, they were two of your closest friends and you wanted them to both be happy. It didn't help that you thought both of them were hot. But you never imagined either of them would feel the same way, definitely not both of them and definitely not on the same night. Who would you rather be with, how were you supposed to know? And would you even enjoy dating either of them? You were just about to open your mouth when you felt someone behind you grab the door and pull it open all the way.

You couldn't read Spencer's face as he saw Hotch standing behind you holding the door open.

"Y/n, we can finish our conversation tomorrow," he pushed past you. "Reid" he nodded his head in acknowledgement when walking through the doorway.

Spencer turned and waited until he saw Hotch's door shut. "You couldn't have told me he was sitting in there?" He seemed annoyed which was understandable.

"How was I supposed to know what you were gonna say?!"

He squinted his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, "What was he doing in your room this late anyways?"

You knew he'd be able to see right through any lies you tried to tell. "I- uh, he um..." Ugh, you gave up on trying to find an excuse. "Your comment the other day might not have been too far off."

He thought for a second before a new emotion shot across his face. It looked like he was going to say something but instead he turned around and started to walk away.

"Spence!! How was I supposed to know he felt that way? Or that you felt the way you do? This isn't my fault."

He turned around and sighed. "I know but that doesn't make it any better. Now him and I know how we both feel about you, how are we supposed to act at work? And are you expected to choose one of us?"

"I don't know." You looked at your feet as you spoke, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

He put his hand on your shoulder, "Just get some rest, we can figure it out tomorrow."

You nodded and shut your door. As you walked into your bathroom you thought about how fast tonight had gone downhill. When you looked in the mirror you realized your shirt still had a few buttons undone, your lips were bright pink and slightly swollen, and despite your efforts to fix it your hair was a complete mess. Once Spencer saw Hotch leave, he had to know what had just happened.

You rinsed off quickly before changing into pajamas and crawling into bed. This was going to be a long week at work.

-

You had been dreading work when you woke up, but everything went on as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. The case was difficult, keeping the team at the police station until almost 1am everyday. Every night when you returned to the hotel, you were far too exhausted to try and figure out your personal life. Although work had been normal for you, you sensed some tension between Hotch and Reid. They talked only when necessary, without making it too obvious to the rest of the team. Finally, after 4 days, you were on the jet home and everyone was exhausted.

You were taking a short nap on the couch in the plane when you woke up to see Spencer sitting next to you. He gave you a small smile when you looked at him. Then Hotch walked over to you, and you realized you three were the only ones awake.

He sat in the chair in front of the couch and looked between the two of you, "I know this isn't going to be a fun conversation, but we clearly need to talk about what happened the other night."

Spencer looked at him before saying, "Well what are you expecting? Is y/n just supposed to pick between us right now...you can't just throw that at her."

"Reid that is not what I said. All I'm saying is I don't want this affecting our work."

You weren't completely sure of what to say but you figured you had to say something. You nodded, "I know Hotch, I understand and I would never want this to change how we do our jobs." You thought for a moment before the corner of your lip almost lifted into a smile. "What about...dating?"

The two men looked at each other then at you. Hotch looked like he didn't quite understand, "Dating? Do you mean dating us both at the same time?"

"I mean, it wouldn't be the worst idea. Even if I had picked one of you it's not like I'd move In and we'd get married right away. I would've wanted to spend time growing closer romantically before things got serious anyways. Dating is just casually getting to know people better, what's the difference if it's with two people at once?" You were unsure about how this would work, but proud of yourself for finding an answer to your problems.

"Okay, I'm in." Reid tried to look happy even though he just wanted you for himself, but then he remembered Hotch probably felt the same way.

"If it's what you want I'll give it a try." Hotch didn't exactly like this, but if he said no he knew he wouldn't have a chance.

You really had thought dating was the perfect solution, but things still managed to get complicated.


	8. Unfinished Business

The weekend after telling Spencer and Hotch that you wanted to try dating was fairly uneventful. You were busy catching up on errands and chores around the house, so you barely got a chance to talk to either of them.

You entered the door to the office on Monday and noticed something on your desk. When you got closer, you saw it was a bouquet of pink and red roses. You couldn't stop yourself from smiling, it had been so long since someone did something romantic for you. You picked up the ivory colored card that stuck out of them and it read:

"It is better to love wisely, no doubt: but to love foolishly is better than not being able to love at all."

-S

You instantly recognized the quote from "Vanity Fair", the novel which you had told Spencer you were reading a few weeks ago. You looked over to his desk where he shot you a glance and smiled, at the same time your phone buzzed. He had sent you a text saying, "Dinner tonight?" You looked over to him again and nodded, hoping he would notice.

"Ooh y/n, flowers? Who's the guy?" Garcia asked while walking to you and standing next to your desk. You hid the card in your hand so she wouldn't be able to read that "-S".

"It uhm didn't say who it was from...probably that guy I went out with a few weeks ago." Luckily Morgan called her over to where he was standing across the room before she could further interrogate you. You knew it was going to be difficult dating two people that worked in the same office as you without the team noticing, but you would have to try.

The day went by pretty slow. With no new case, everyone was stuck at their desks filing reports and doing paperwork. You occasionally peeked over at Spencer who would sometimes look up in return. When you had entered the office this morning you could see through Hotch's window into his office and saw him sitting at his desk. Later in the day when you thought to look again though, his blinds were shut.

~

Hotch didn't know how to do this. Aaron Hotchner was not the type to date. He dated Haley then they got married and clearly that didn't end up so great. He never casually dated anyone though, especially not people he worked with. He glanced out his window when y/n walked up to her desk this morning. He saw the flowers as soon as she did and after she read the note and looked at Reid, it confirmed they were from him. Hotch hated how frustrated it made him. Why hadn't he thought of sending her flowers? After a few hours, he couldn't stand seeing the two of them sitting across from each other casting longing glances at one another every few minutes. He simply got up, shut all the blinds, and then his door.

~

It was 5:30pm when you stood up from your chair, put on your jacket, and grabbed your purse. You went on saying bye to everyone and headed to the elevator. Once you were in you clicked the button for the ground floor and as the doors began closing an arm reached in to keep them open.

Hotch stepped in next to you, "Agent y/l/n."

"Agent Hotchner", you spoke as the doors shut.

A few seconds after the elevator started moving down, Hotch pulled the emergency stop button.

"Hotch why would you-" But before you could finish he had already grabbed your wrist and pinned your arm above your head against the wall. His other hand rested on your waist, as he lightly moved it from there to the top of your thigh. His face was only an inch away from yours, and you could feel his warm minty breath.

He started trailing kisses from your jawline down to your neck. "I noticed...someone...sent you...flowers..." he whispered in between kisses. He stopped for a second to stare into your eyes. "Is that what you like? Receiving gifts?" he asked as his hand that was on your waist slipped down until it found its way under your skirt and rested on your underwear. You tilted your head back as you closed your eyes and let out the quietest moan which made him smirk. He started rubbing his hand back and forth painfully slow, while watching your facial expression. He let go of your wrist and trailed a finger down the soft side of your arm and then put that hand under your chin. You dropped your arm from above your head as he started moving his other hand slightly harder. The hand under your chin moved your head from leaning against the wall, forcing you to look at him again. "Reid is a good kid..." his hand under your skirt started moving faster.

"Oh Hotch!" you cried out as he rubbed just the right spot. When you did though, he slowed his pace again, keeping you from getting close to finishing.

"He's a good kid, but that's just it, he's a kid. You've been with so many boys. Let me show you how a man could make you feel."

After that you leaned forward forcing your lips to collide with his and he removed his hand from under your skirt and the other from your chin. He Instead grabbed the back of your thighs and picked you up, pushing you against the wall again as his tongue entered your mouth. Your legs were wrapped tight around his body, and your arms around his neck. He kissed you harder than that night in the hotel room as his lips parted making room for your tongue.

He moved one of his hands back to under your skirt, but he went under your underwear this time too. "See, you're so wet for me already. And from what? Kissing you and pushing you against a wall?" He slid his fingers inside for a split second of pure bliss, before removing them and showing you how slippery they had gotten. He moved his fingers up to his mouth and gently sucked them as you watched. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than for him to be inside you.

Instead, he set you down with your skirt now scrunched up to your waist, and pushed the stop button back in forcing the elevator to continue moving again.

"Hotch! You can't just do that to me in an elevator at work and not finish what you started."

"I think I can," he smiled as the doors opened and he stepped out. "Have fun with Reid tonight" he glanced back one more time before walking away. He had only guessed that the text y/n had received and then looked at Spencer and nodded about was something having to do with plans for tonight. Based on her reaction though, he was pretty sure he guessed right.


	9. Charm and Harm

On the drive home from work, you couldn't decide if you were angry or amused. How could Hotch do that to you, especially just hours before your date with Spencer? At the same time, you were happily surprised you got to see that side of him. You knew he was more playful than he let on at work, but you hadn't seen him act anything like how he was in the elevator.

When you walked into your apartment, you quickly rinsed off your body in the shower. You redid your makeup, still keeping it simple, but putting on a little bit of light brown eyeshadow this time. You were walking over to your closet when you glanced at the clock and saw it read 7:15. Spencer was going to pick you up at 7:30, and he was never late, so you hurried to pick out and outfit. You decided on a floral mini dress with a rectangular neckline and small puff sleeves. You put on a couple of gold layered necklaces and brown wedges. You brushed your loosely curled hair over your shoulder and grabbed your phone and bag when you heard a knock on the door. You opened it to see Spencer standing there wearing black pants and a navy blue button down.

"Hey", you smiled as he stared at you.

"Wow you uh- you look beautiful."

You tried not to blush as you thanked him, and the two of you headed to his car. You hadn't thought about how the dynamic between you two might change between being at work and on a date. As soon as you got in the car your worries disappeared, he started talking as normal, ocasionally throwing out an obscure fact.

-

Spencer took you to a nice restaurant in the city and then you two got ice cream and browsed through a bookstore next to the ice cream shop. You talked about your very different taste in books as you giggled and strolled the aisles. He tried to convince you to read multiple books, all of which were way too long given your job and inability to read 20,000 words per minute. You did agree however, to let him buy you his favorite book, The Narrative of John Smith. While you had been walking around all night, he was always either holding your hand or draping his arm over your shoulder. It felt comforting, you loved the way he was still being the Spencer you knew while also treating you like more than a friend.

When you arrived back at your place he offered to walk you in. You entered the doors of the building and walked up the stairs. When you got to your floor, his tone changed. "Y/n, I really enjoyed taking you out tonight. I hope it's something you'd want to do with me again."

You didn't take your eyes off him as you both walked down the hallway to your door, "I had such a good time Spence, I love spending time with you." You leaned up on your tippy toes and lightly pressed your lips into his as he wrapped an arm around your back. He put the other arm around your neck to pull you in closer and you wished that moment could last forever. Your arms were tight around his back while his hands travelled all over your body. You felt his soft tongue push into your mouth and you almost let out a small noise.

"I um, should probably get going, I don't want to keep you up too late since we have work at 7:30 tomorrow." He spoke as you finally pulled apart for a second. You nodded and placed one last kiss on his lips.

"Goodnight y/n," he said as he started walking away.

"Goodnight Spence." You were so wrapped up in the way Spencer made you feel tonight, you had almost forgotten about what happened with Hotch earlier. That is until you turned to face your door to unlock it, and you spotted a small heart shaped chocolate box with a note on it, leaning against the bottom of the doorframe. "Spencer!" You shouted as he was almost at the end of the hallway now, "You didn't have to get me anything else!"

He turned around to see you holding the little box and said, "I didn't."

-

After making it inside your apartment, you set the heart shaped box and book down next to your keys on the table. You sighed and thought about how you might have just ruined an almost perfect date. You realized your mistake as soon as you saw the expression on Spencer's face when he turned around. When he spoke, you profusely apologized and he kept saying it was okay but you knew it made him uncomfortable.

You opened the note attached to the box to see the handwriting you recognized so well:

I know you might be out late tonight but get coffee with me tomorrow before work? 6:30? Maybe we can continue where we left off earlier...

You smiled after reading it and then remembered how Hotch had made you so needy earlier. You texted him to agree to going and then got ready for bed. Going on two dates in two days was certainly new to you.


	10. Conflicted

You were laying sideways across your bed, two figures standing at you feet. One of them climbed onto the bed and rested your head in his lap, as the other dropped to his knees while lightly pushing your thighs apart. It was then you realized you were only wearing a delicate white lace bra and matching underwear. You began to panic internally, unsure about who surrounded you. Until the man sitting on the bed leaned down and kissed you, his soft tongue exploring your mouth. You felt your worries ease for a moment and when he pulled away you felt his soft wavy hair brush against your forehead. He kept his head leaned down, only an inch away from your face as he smiled at you.

Spencer.

After realizing who it was and that you were safe, you felt the man at your thighs gently tug your panties down to your ankles. Your breath quickened and Spencer stroked your hair while kissing and sucking on your neck.

The man at the edge of the bed moved his head closer until you could feel his warm breathing near your entrance. He wrapped his arms under your upper thighs as he leaned his head in. He kissed so close to the area you desperately wanted to be touched at. You felt sweat begin to bead on your forehead. He slid one finger into your hole that was already soaking wet for him. He pushed it in then pulled it out excruciatingly slow as his lips reached your clit. He rolled his tongue around it and then sucked it while slipping another finger inside you. Suddenly he quickened his pace, shoving in and out causing you to let out a groan. All you could see was the dark hair on top of his head.

Spencer started kissing your chest and reached one hand under the cup of your bra and massaged your breast. You let out a whimper, overwhelmed by the sensations of both men at the same time. Your noise caused the man at your legs to lift his head up and make eye contact with you.

Hotch. Of course.

Spencer hadn't stopped attacking your chest with kisses and his hands, you cried out "Ohhh Spencer!"

In response, Hotch unbuckled his belt and slid off his pants and boxers. Your eyes widened as you saw his size. Spencer slid back and returned to kissing your lips, while hotch held his body over yours preparing to enter you. He took his length in hand and leaned his hips back preparing to-

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

You jumped up in your bed at the sound of your alarm, reaching your arm out and slapping it to stop the beeping. You placed your hands over your eyes, throwing your head back.

It was a dream. You just had a wet dream about Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner.

You couldn't decide if you were relieved or very very angry that you didn't get to see the end of that.

You glanced at the clock and saw it read 6am, Hotch would be here soon. You headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

-

When you got into his car, he smiled and greeted you. You tried to be normal but between the elevator and that dream...oh that dream. It was all you had thought about when getting ready this morning, and you decided you definitely had wanted to see how the ending would've played out.

Anyways, you kept quiet for most of the car ride, trying to remember what normal was like with him before any of this happened. At one point he reached his hand to rest on your thigh but you practically jumped out of your seat and let out a small yelp. His eyes shot to you for a second before retracting his hand and directing his attention back to the road.

He pulled into a parking spot in front of the coffee shop. You opened your door without a word but before you could step out he grabbed your hand, forcing you to let out an almost inaudible gasp. But you knew he heard it.

"Y/n, is everything alright? Are you still okay with this, with you and me?"

You hadn't thought about how your odd behavior would come across. "Oh Hotch, nothing has changed. I just- I didn't sleep the best last night and I've been feeling a little weird today. But I'm fine I promise." Your lips curved into a smile as you squeezed his hand.

-

"I'll go get us some napkins." Hotch spoke while the both of you stood waiting at the counter waiting for your food and drinks. He turned around and crossed the room to do as he said.

When he turned around again to come back to you he saw you laughing with a man, a man a lot closer to your age than he was. His jaw stiffened and lips formed into a firm line. He cleared his throat as he approached behind you and wrapped an arm around your waist.

Immediately when Hotch touched you the man's smile fell, "Well, uh, it was nice to meet you Y/n. Hopefully we'll meet again." And with that he grabbed his drink and exited the shop.

You stretched your arm to meet Hotch's bicep, letting your fingers rest there. "Try not to look so happy" you muttered under your breath.

"What?" He had hardly noticed what you said, he was too busy glaring out the door. "No I was just-"

"I know, I know. C'mon we should eat if we don't want to be late for work" You said while leading him over to a small table.

-

Despite your best efforts to make it to the office on time, you and Hotch were 12 minutes late. You had started to worry about it in the car on the way over, urging him to drive faster before he laughed and reminded you he was the boss.

When walking in you held his hand in yours, both of you holding your coffees in the other. As soon as the elevator door opened though, your hands separated. That didn't stop him from talking to you and making you giggle all the way to your desk though. You sat down as he headed up to his office, glancing at when he was halfway there.

"What's he so happy for?" Morgan questioned from across from you as he watched Hotch enter his office smiling. You shrugged in response.

"I think the question is why are you so happy?" Emily questioned, gesturing towards you.

You tried to keep from blushing, but smiled at her. "Just woke up on the right side of the bed I guess." You laughed to yourself after being reminded of how you woke up this morning.

Reid however did not find this very amusing. He had noticed that neither of you arrived on time, so he had been watching the elevator doors. He caught a glimpse of your fingers being intertwined before you both had abruptly pulled them apart. He watched your faces and good moods, he wondered what Hotch was saying that could make you smile so much. As he leaned back in his chair, he thought about how the person making you smile could go from being him to Hotch overnight.


	11. Compromising Positions

It had been about a week and a half since you went on your first dates with Hotch and Reid. Since then you'd only had time for one more date with each of them because the team had taken a case in Seattle which had you away for 6 days. During your date with Spencer you made it to third base at your apartment but were interrupted when the call for the Seattle case came in. As for the date with Hotch, Jack was home when you went over for dinner, so nothing past making out happened. You had so much fun on the dates and were being treated much better by them than any of the men you'd previously dated. The coffee, dinners, movies, cuddling-you loved being around both of them no matter what you were doing. But your mind couldn't help itself from wondering what they'd be like in bed. And you had needs that you couldn't ignore, but what was the protocol for situations like this? Usually you waited until the third date before sleeping with a guy, but there were a few times it happened on the first date. How do the rules change when you're dating two of your coworkers at the same time? You weren't sure, but planned to find out soon.

-

You sat back down at your desk on Tuesday morning after going to refill your mug with coffee. You sighed glancing at the stack of papers laying in front of you. There was no new case this week, leaving everyone with paperwork and other small tasks to do. As soon as you picked up your pen you heard a voice call out to you.

"Y/l/n, can I see you for a moment please?" Hotch peeked his head out of the door to his office. You looked up at him and nodded, noticing the stern look on his face. After setting your pen back down, you stood up and started walking over to his office. You had almost forgotten that he was always stoic like this at work.

He spoke as you entered, "Shut the door please."

When you turned around and closed it, you realized the blinds were shut. Suddenly you felt a pit in your stomach, what if he was about to break things off with you? Maybe he wasn't as okay with just dating as he let on.

"I, um, sir, am I in trouble?" You played with your fingernails while not moving too far from the door. For once you hoped the answer would be yes, you hoped you had made some mistake in the field or on your paperwork and that this had nothing to do with your lives outside of work.

"No y/n." He sat in his chair, still having a serious look on his face but with a hint of confusion now.

"Oh okay," you tried not to sound too disappointed, "what is this about then?" You took a few steps closer to his desk but still avoided sitting down.

"I just wanted to invite you over for dinner with me and Jack tonight." He kept his eyes glued on your face as he saw relief creep in. "You're acting strange."

"Really, I am? Hm well dinner sounds great, I'll come over around 7." You were already headed to the door, slightly embarrassed about your momentary overreaction. Before you could take more than two steps though, Hotch was out of his chair and standing right next to you.

He grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours, and planted a warm kiss on your lips. "You're sure everything is fine?"

You nodded, "Mhm", before returning your mouth to his. Kissing him now was different than other times, he was more gentle, more careful like he might accidentally break you. He noticed your nerves and was probably trying to calm you down even though he had no idea he was the reason for them. Your worries about him wanting to end things flew out the window as he moved his hands over your body and lightly pulled at your bottom lip. You let out a soft moan, causing him to push you back a few steps until your butt hit his desk. You gasped again, then he lifted your waist to sit you down on the edge of it. He moved his mouth down to your neck and as far down your chest as your shirt would allow. You pulled at a lock of hair on the back of his head and he returned his tongue to your mouth, more passionately this time. He tugged at the zipper on your pants and then began to unbuckle his belt.

"Hotch wait-"

He moved his hands to your knees and looked you deeply in the eye, "I'm sorry, I should've realized you might not be okay with this." He removed his hands from your body and reached to redo his belt. "I should have asked first, really y/n I'm sor-"

You interrupted him by grabbing his arm and pulling him closer so he was standing in between your legs as you sat on the desk. "It's not that I'm not okay with it, I'm just a little...nervous I guess."

You tried avoiding eye contact but he put his hand under your chin and lifted your head up to look at him. "Y/n, I hope you know I would never hurt you."

You gave him a sad smile, "I know. But what if this changes something between us? Most of the guys I've slept with have just been one time things, I've never had feelings for any of them before and I've definitely never worked with any of them."

"We don't have to do this now, especially not here."

All you had wanted since that day in the elevator was this. You hadn't exactly thought about the logistics of it before now though. Suddenly your heart took over your brain and the words were gone before you even realized you said it. "I want this, now. I don't care where we are."

He kissed your forehead and then held eye contact with you, face just inches away from yours. He whispered, "We can take it slowly."

You gently pulled at his collar, closing the gap between you. When your lips collided this time the passion was different. It didn't feel like lust, it was more romantic than anything else. His fingers of one hand glided up and down your back while the other slipped into your pants. Your hands clasped together behind his neck pushing you together as close as possible. As his hand started rubbing you through the fabric of your underwear, you undid his pants and pulled them down. Then you pulled your shirt over your head and began to unbutton his. He only pulled away from you for a moment to shrug his shirt off. He buried his face in your chest kissing everywhere he could. You groaned and suddenly a new wave of emotion rushed over you. 

You kissed his neck as you stood up and pushed him to sit in the chair behind his desk. You kicked off your pants and lacy black underwear before sitting on top of him, straddling his legs. He placed firm hands on your waist and looked surprised as you pulled his boxers down. You grabbed his length and lifted up slightly so he was at your opening. You then thrust your body down quickly, slamming him into you. His eyes closed in shock and he groaned much too loud considering you were in an office in the middle of a work day. You leaned closer to his face and placed a finger over his lips, "Shhh", you giggled. "You. Wouldn't. Want. The. Others. To. Hear", you spoke in between bounces.

He smiled at you, "What happened to taking it slowly?"

You shrugged, "Guess I changed my mind." You stroked the base of his cock while still sitting with him inside you.

"Oh god, y/n, ohh." You thought he was about to finish but instead he surprised you by standing up and lying you back down across his desk.

He leaned over you and began shoving himself inside of you harder and faster than before. One of his hands travelled down and circled over your clit as you gasped his name, "Aaron".

"Remember, not too loud y/n" he whispered before latching his mouth onto yours once again.

He started rubbing his hand faster and faster until you couldn't take it anymore, "Hotch I'm- I'm gonna..."

He spoke in a deeper, quieter voice right next to your ear now, "Cum for me."

Hearing his voice that way caused you to explode. Your vision went blurry and you felt your orgasm take control of you. Seconds later you felt his cock twitch inside of you and then his orgasm fill you up. He held his chest over your body, both of you panting.

After a minute, he pulled himself out of you and handed a tissue over to help you clean up. You got dressed in silence, and then realized you probably looked like a mess. You had no idea what you'd say about why you had been in there for so long or why you looked like someone just fucked the shit out of you.

You finger combed through your hair and tried to flatten it down as Hotch redid his tie. "What, uh, what should I say when they ask me why I was in here for so long?"

"Just say I needed help reviewing the paperwork you turned in yesterday", he said then gave you one more quick kiss on the lips. "I'll see you tonight?"

You opened the door and then turned back to answer him, "Yes sir." You tried to hold back your smile as you shut the door to his office.

Walking back down to your desk you met a set of eyes. Spencer's eyes to be exact. Your heart sank as you were reminded of everything you felt when you spent time with him.

How could you fuck someone else?

But then what if it had been Spencer you had slept with? Were you not supposed to have sex with either of them? Spencer looked confused as he analyzed you, before looking back to his papers with a sad expression on his face. There was no way he knew, how could he? Then again you might've been louder than you thought...

You were still completely lost about what to do.


	12. A Shade of Gray

It was only 8:30pm when you stood by the sink helping Hotch wash dishes from dinner, and you were exhausted. You were always sleepy after sitting at your desk all day being bored by paperwork, but you were especially tired today because of what happened in Hotch's office earlier.

He turned off the sink while you dried the last plate, then walked behind you and rested his head on your shoulder while his hands clasped in front of your body around your waist. You set the plate on the counter and rested your hands on top of his. He gently started swaying around the kitchen while humming in your ear. You shut your eyes and smiled, wanting to remember how perfect this moment was.

You heard small footsteps and before you knew it, Jack was standing in the kitchen wearing his pajamas. "Daddy, will you come tuck me in?"

Hotch let go of your waist and replied, "Sure buddy, I'll be up in a minute. Is there someone else you want to say goodnight to?"

You bent down as he ran over and pulled you into a tight hug, "Goodnight y/n!" You gave him a kiss on the cheek before he ran back up to his room.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, do you want to pick the movie tonight?"

"Sure," you entered the living room and plopped down on the couch while Hotch went upstairs. When he came back down he was no longer in his work clothes, now wearing a gray tshirt and blue checkered pajama pants. He sat down next to you and placed one of his sleep tshirts and a pair of boxers in your lap.

"Even if you don't sleepover I figured you'd want to be more comfortable."

You thanked him and grabbed the clothes before heading to the bathroom to get out of your work attire. As you were changing, you thought about how different things were now compared to the last time you spent the night. You had borrowed Hotch's clothes before on nights when Jack begged you to stay over, but now that you were dating him it wasn't the same. Would Hotch expect you to sleep in his bed with him now instead of the couch like you usually did? You brushed away your concerns, telling yourself you'd figure it out as you went along.

When you went back out you cuddled up next to him and he wrapped his arm around you as the movie started. Neither of you talked much until about 30 minutes in, "I like this you know. Having you here with me and Jack."

You had been there plenty of times with him and Jack in the past, but you knew what he meant. You tilted your head up to him and smiled, "I like this too." He leaned down and kissed the top of your head before you both went back to watching the movie.

When you woke up, the sun was shining through the windows and your head was still lying on Hotch's chest. You realized you both must have fallen asleep during the movie. As you stirred, he tightened his arms around you before opening his eyes, "Morning" he yawned.

"Good morning sleepy," you giggled as you stood up to go start breakfast.

-

The next day of work was slow and while Hotch had been hanging around you more, you noticed Reid wasn't talking to you at all. Just as you were packing up your things to go home for the day, someone said your name.

"Y/n." You were excited to hear Spencer's voice and hoped he would explain why he was being so weird lately. He checked the room to make sure nobody else on the team was around, "Do you want to come over to my place? We can order food or something, we haven't talked in a while."

"Yeah I'd love that, let me just grab my things."

-

When you walked into Spencer's apartment, you set your things down and he grabbed the takeout menus from the counter. You agreed on getting chinese and before you knew it, the delivery man was at the door. He laid out a blanket on his living room floor so that you could have a "picnic". When you two left the office, everything felt normal again. As you sat there eating, you couldn't help but wonder if he was going to explain his behavior over the past few days.

You were almost done eating when his smile turned into a serious face and he turned his eyes to his hands. "Y/n, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about." Your body froze and you stared at him intently. "The other day I had a question for Hotch, and I knew you were in his office but I figured it would be fine if I came in for a minute." He looked at you and suddenly you were pretty sure you knew where this was going. "I was just about to open the door when I heard the two of you."

You couldn't believe you had been so stupid, what were you thinking doing that in Hotch's office? You felt a sharp pang in your chest and you had no idea what to say to him. There would be no way to make up for what you did and how you made him feel. "Spence I'm so sorry I- we just- I don't even know what I can say other than I'm sorry. Don't be mad at him, it was my idea not his. It was a really dumb idea." All he did was nod his head which only made you feel worse.

Spencer had never been mad at you before, no matter what happened you just weren't the type to get angry at each other. You could tell he was angry now, he just didn't know how to express it towards you. You placed a hand on his cheek and then leaned up to give him a short kiss. Your eyes were shut as you rested your forehead against his, "I really am sorry. I don't know how to fix this."

His voice was shaky, "I know." You opened your eyes to see a single tear fall down his cheek. "This is just hard," he looked into your eyes again.

You nodded, "I wish it didn't have to be like this, but I don't know what else to do." After that you both sat in silence for a few minutes until you started to clean up the empty boxes from dinner. Unsure of what to say, you didn't talk much until he offered to show you a new book he got in his room.

You followed him into his bedroom and his smile returned as he pointed out his favorite quotes from the book to you. He handed it to you so you could look through it and you noticed him studying your face while you read the first few pages. When you handed it back his fingers brushed against yours. He set it down then held your face in his hands before kissing you. You had almost forgotten how good of a kisser he was. His tongue slid into your mouth and explored every corner of it, as his fingers gently tugged your hair. "Spencer" you moaned into his ear. You felt something hard press against your leg, you pushed yourself closer to him to cause friction against it.

He groaned and lifted you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist, still kissing him, until he laid you down on the bed. He pulled your shirt off and then his own. He leaned down and kissed your neck slowly, eventually moved to swipe his tongue across your ear, causing you to gasp. He ran his hand from the bottom of your bra down your stomach, using the other to pull the straps of it down. You leaned up and reached to start unzipping his pants, as he did the same to yours. His mouth finally made its way back to your own after your pants and underwear had slid onto the ground. He reached his hand down and slid two fingers inside of you, using the thumb on that same hand to rub your clit. You reached up to nibble on his shoulder as his hand picked up the pace.

Spencer was leaning over you again, close enough for you to reach out and grab his crotch. "Y/n," he whimpered. At some point, his pants had come completely off too, leaving only his boxers between him and your hand. He removed his fingers for a moment, putting them in his mouth to get a decent amount of spit on them. He then switched to using those to massage your clit at a more violent pace.

"Spence...please...oh Spencer!"

He smiled, removed his hand and then in one motion flipped you over so that you were lying on your stomach, while he still stood at the side of his bed. He positioned himself so just the tip of his cock was in your entrance. "Please what?" You turned your head to see him smirking; apparently his personality was a little different in the bedroom. "C'mon...be a good girl and tell me what you want." So maybe he was a very different person in bed.

You nearly exploded when he said that, the fact that it was unlike him only made it hotter. "I want you...please Spencer, please fuck me." He seemed satisfied with that answer, the only response you got was him slamming his body against yours. It felt like he fit perfectly inside of you.

With his hands on your ass he continued driving into you as you moaned louder and louder. He let out grunts every few moments and before eventually saying, "You feel so good...oh god I'm- I'm gonna..." Seconds after that you felt a warm substance fill inside of you, but he didn't stop, he kept going harder until you practically screamed his name and felt your own orgasm wash over you.

He flopped next to you on his bed, still panting. He rubbed his thumb along your cheek, "Are you alright?" Still gasping for air, you nodded. A few minutes later he brought a towel over to help you wipe down. Then both of you crawled under the covers and you closed your eyes with his arms wrapped around you

-

You woke up in Spencer's bed alone and checked the clock to see it said 7am. You checked your phone for a few minutes until Spencer came in holding a tray with coffee, scrambled eggs, and toast. He set it in front of you on the bed, "I'm not the best cook, so I'm not sure how good it'll be."

You couldn't contain your happiness, "Spence you didn't have to do all this for me," you gave him a meaningful smile, "thank you." He kissed your cheek then sat down on the bed next to you and took a bite of the toast. You brushed a wave of hair out of his eyes and thought about how lucky you were to have him.


	13. A Thin Line

You sat on the couch in Spencer's living room, watching tv after he went in his room to get dressed for the day. He came out with a look on his face that you recognized too well. "There's a new case," he waved his phone in his hand, "you should be getting the call any minute."

Seconds later your phone rang and you picked it up to hear Hotch on the other end, telling you to be there as soon as you could. After you hung up, you realized Spencer had driven last night meaning your car was still at the office. "Spence, on the way to work can we stop at my place so I can put on clean clothes?" He nodded and 15 minutes later you were rushing through your front door to change and put together a go bag.

-

After being briefed, you learned that the case was about women being stalked and killed in Nashville. Before you knew it, you were sitting on the jet, looking at the ground far beneath you. You sat at a table across from Morgan and JJ but you could see Hotch sitting in a chair and Reid on the couch. It was a short flight, only around 2 hours. You had been bored out of your mind the whole ride, and when there were only 40 minutes left an idea hit you.

You tried not to laugh to yourself as you grabbed your phone and texted 2 separate people the same thing,

Guess what I'm thinking about

Send. It was less than a minute before your phone buzzed with responses.

S: What would that be?

You.

S: Oh?

And what we'd be doing if there was nobody else on this plane right now.

S: Continue...

I'd start laying on top of you on that little couch you're currently sitting on. Kissing every inch of your body until I worked my way down to your pants, tearing them off and filling my mouth with as much of you as I could, never breaking eye contact.

S: Fuck, y/n.

What about you Dr.Reid? What would you be doing?

S: I would be sitting at that table next to you, finger fucking you until you thought you couldn't take it anymore. Playing with your clit while you moaned out so loudly because nobody for miles could hear...or better yet, what if people could hear? What if everyone else was still on the jet with us and you had to try so hard to not let any noises leave your mouth?

Shit, I'm so horny for you Spencer.

S: I want you to beg for it, just like you did last night.

Simultaneously, another man was texting you. You went back and forth between the conversations, trying to ignore how wet you felt reading the dirty things both of them were saying to you. After sending that first text, you received the following from Hotch:

A: Me?

Mhm. But more specifically you bending me over your desk.

A: Really y/n? We're on a plane with the entire team right now.

So? That doesn't mean I can't want you inside of me

A: God, you're so hot. You have no idea what you do to me.

Do I make you hard, Aaron? Am I making you remember the way you felt in your office the other day?

A: You're being a very bad girl right now...I might have to teach you a lesson when we get back.

Oh? Please do, I hope it includes spanking

A: All I've thought about since the other day is fucking you again

So do it. I want you to have me gasping for air, ramming so hard into me I won't be able to walk straight the next day.

"Who're you talking to?" Emily's voice forced you to momentarily snap out of your fantasies.

"Oh, uh, just that Liam guy I went out with once."

"I thought you said he wasn't very good," Prentiss raised her eyebrows and was studying your facial expressions. Derek was tuned in now too.

"I don't know, he was nice. Maybe I just need to stop being so picky." You felt two additional sets of eyes on you while you spoke. Hotch and Spencer both knew you were just saying that to throw Emily off, but still they didn't like the sound of it.

"Hm. If you say so." You knew she could tell you were lying straight through your teeth, but you also knew she wouldn't call you out on it. At least not here. You realized the plane was about to start its descent, so you made a quick trip to the bathroom.

There were no more inappropriate texts sent after you went to the bathroom. However, that didn't stop you from taking a picture up your skirt of your red lace underwear while you were in there.

-

You were sitting by yourself in the backseat of a black SUV, JJ and Morgan up front, on the way to the local police department a few minutes after the jet landed. You decided now would be a good time to put that picture to use. This message though, was only making it to one person.

I haven't stopped thinking about last night, you made me feel so good

(Attachment 1 image)

-

When you walked in to the police station you, JJ, and Derek made your way over to the team. You were still in a good mood from the fun you had on the plane. When you sat down at the table with everyone else, Hotch was standing in front of the evidence board and he didn't even look at you. At first you thought he was just flustered or annoyed about earlier, but when it went on for over 20 minutes you knew something bigger was wrong. You kept trying to make little comments or jokes to him like you always did, but he pretended not to hear you. At the end of going over the evidence, you all were about to go separate ways.

"I can go to the pharmacy all the victims frequented. I'll see if any of their medications were the same." When Reid spoke, Hotch glanced at him for a second.

"No, Prentiss will do that, I think the last thing we need is you near drugs," he snapped and you couldn't believe he just said that. You weren't the only one, the whole team looked at Hotch like he just killed someone.

You refused to stand there and let him say something like that, "Hotch, what the hell is wrong wi-"

"I think we've heard enough from you today." He raised his voice at you in a way he never had before, causing a few police officers to stare.

Nobody moved. Everyone was staring at Hotch, who was still fuming. Not a single person could think of what to say.

The tension was only broken when he stormed off and threw open the door to an empty conference room. You followed just a few steps behind him. There was no way you were letting him get away with acting like that to you and Reid.

You closed the door once you entered the room. You noticed he had taken his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves. He paced in front of the table, avoiding eye contact, while you kept your eyes glued to him. "What the fuck is your problem? What makes you think it's okay to say something like that to him? Or talk to me like that."

He finally looked at you with a look of disbelief and was screaming now, "My problem? What is MY problem?" He almost laughed. "Did you have sex with him?"

Now you had nothing to say. You weren't exactly keeping it a secret but how did he find out? "Hotch what does that have to d-"

"So you did?" He still hadn't stopped pacing and looked just as angry as before.

You sighed, you weren't going to lie to him about this, "Yes. I did, but why does it matter? You knew you'd both be dating me, and you knew I slept with you. Why would you be surprised that I did with him too?"

He slammed his hands down on the table, "Damnit!"

You finally started putting the pieces together. He was lashing out at you and Spencer because the two of you fucked. You couldn't believe he was acting so immature. "That's what this is about? How did you even-"

You were interrupted by JJ opening the door, she looked slightly afraid as she glanced back and forth between the two of you. "Hotch, the first victim's family is here to be interviewed."

"Tell them I'll just be a minute," he was more calm now. She nodded and left the door open as she walked away.

He grabbed his suit jacket and started to exit the room but not before saying one last thing to you. His tone returned to the way it was before she had walked in, "Nice picture by the way."

Then, he was gone. It all made sense now. You thought of that picture you sent and the caption, "I haven't stopped thinking about last night, you made me feel so good". You hadn't even checked the name of who you sent it to. You had clicked on the top name in your messages, you could've sworn Spencer was the last person you sent a text to. Apparently not.


	14. Longest Night

For the rest of the day, Hotch stayed as separated from the team as he could. After leaving the conference room earlier, you and everyone else made sure Spencer was okay. You also apologized over and over again since it was probably your fault, but he didn't blame you. You understood how Hotch could be irritated, and you did mess up by sending him the picture instead of Reid, but that didn't mean the way he acted was acceptable.

-

"Morgan and I are going to grab a drink at the hotel bar before heading up to our rooms if anyone wants to join." Emily spoke to the whole team as you walked into the hotel lobby. You obviously weren't going to get wasted since you had to be back at the police station early tomorrow. But it was only 10pm, and sometimes when cases were really taking a toll on you guys, everyone would just have one drink and talk to wind down.

You headed to the bar with them and were surprised to notice everyone else following. Hotch, JJ, and sometimes Spencer would usually pass and go straight to bed. You avoided Aaron's eyes when you turned to check. He sat on the far end of the group next to Rossi, you and Spencer on the complete opposite side with everyone else in the middle. As you sipped your cosmo, you started to feel a pit in your stomach. Guilt.

You weren't sorry that you had sex with Reid, Hotch would just have to get over that. You were sorry about the way you guys argued earlier. You could get so worked up about things and angry so easily, but when people yelled back at you it was hard not to cry. The alcohol must have been getting to your head, you snapped out of it and remembered he yelled first. None of this was your fault. Still, you couldn't help peeking over to glance at him.

He was sitting facing forward, staring at his glass and swirling the dark brown liquid around. He wasn't paying attention to any of the conversations going on. His eyes shot to the side as he felt your gaze, forcing you to turn back to face Spencer again. You were worried about how the argument made him feel, but you didn't want him to know you knew watching him.

All these emotions you were feeling were too much, you waved the bartender over and ordered one more drink. Having two drinks wouldn't leave you hungover, and after the day you had you decided it was okay to indulge a little. You tasted your new drink and laughed at a joke Reid made, suddenly everything was a little more funny. Your laughter was cut off by a buzz coming from your phone.

It was Hotch. You hoped he wasn't watching as you rolled your eyes. It was short and to the point like usual.

A: The three of us need to talk. I'll be waiting in your room in 5.

You showed the message to Spencer, careful to not let JJ who was sitting on the other side of you, see. When you looked up from your phone, Hotch was already gone.

-

You and Spencer stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hallway to see Hotch, leaning on your doorframe. You grabbed your room key from your bag and unlocked the door. You stepped in and the other two followed, but not before double checking there wasn't anyone you knew in the hallway.

You shut the door and locked it, your head feeling slightly blurry. You only had two drinks so you certainly weren't drunk. You were slightly tipsy, but in the moment you were glad, you knew the conversation that was about to occur wasn't going to be fun.

You turned away from the door to see the two men standing at the side of your bed, neither of them sat down. You stood next to them, tension growing in the room, and waved a hand at Aaron, "So can you like say whatever was so important it couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

He could tell you were still mad at him, he was still angry too. His brows were furrowed and he looked the way he did at work. Unhappy and serious. "I...I wanted to say," it was taking everything for him to do this, but he knew he would have to, for y/n. "Sorry for what happened earlier. I acted inappropriately and said things that were insensitive. To both of you." His face didn't change.

You were in shock, you were pretty sure you had never heard Aaron Hotchner apologize for making someone mad. Spencer sighed and looked at his feet, "It's alright."

You looked at Reid, then back at Hotch. "Okay." You would get over it eventually, but you weren't going to let him get off that easily. Both of them were staring at you now. You bit down on your lip, realizing you had all the power in this situation. Fuck it.

You threw one hand behind Spencer's neck and harshly pulled him down to force his lips onto yours. He was in shock and didn't kiss back at first. But then he cupped your face and kissed you harder than ever before. Hotch watched for a second before you heard him begin to turn away. Before he could, you pulled away from Spencer and grabbed Aaron's shirt dragging him into a kiss. You now stood in between them, one hand resting on Spencer's chest, the other gripped tightly on Hotch's shirt as you kissed him. When you finally stepped apart for air, the sadness on his face was replaced with desire.

You looked back and forth between them. You were really glad you had that second drink.

Hotch and Reid stared at each other for a moment and what happened next went down so fast. Spencer's lips crashed into yours again and at the same time Hotch's mouth attacked your neck. It was electric feeling both of them on you, both of them wanting you, at the same time.

You gasped as someone's hand unbuttoned your shirt and ripped it off. Another hand, probably Hotch's, shoved you down onto the bed. Aaron threw his jacket off and started at his tie, "Let me," you spoke as you sat up on the edge of the bed and carefully unknotted his tie. Spencer had already pulled his off and was now sitting next to you on the bed, petting your hair as you undid the buttons of Hotch's shirt. You turned to Spencer and unbuckled his belt, helping him slide his pants off. Simultaneously, Hotch leaned down to place kisses along the top of your back and nape of your neck. Your head tilted back as his fingers pushed your bra strap off your shoulder. As he kissed your shoulders, Spencer's hand rested beneath your chin. His fingers traced your lips before pushing at your bottom lip, sliding his thumb inside. You sucked on it and looked up into his eyes innocently.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he leaned down to be eye level with you. "Lean back." You did as he said and laid down on the bed once again, forcing Hotch to detach his mouth from your body.

Aaron stopped looking at you and turned his eyes to Reid, "Go down on her." He spoke with the confidence he always had, but in a softer tone now. 

Spencer looked shocked for a second before complying. He got off the bed and sat on his knees. He then grabbed behind your knees, pulling you to the edge of the bed while you still laid down. He tugged your skirt off your legs and you kicked off your shoes. He ran a hand along the border of your red panties you still had on from earlier, from that picture. His touch was so light, barely there, causing your body to flinch. He ran two fingers down the middle of the underwear, brushing over your clit through the thin fabric. Your knees lifted for a split second when he did it. "You like that?" His voice was as soft as his touch.

"Oh, god, yes," your eyes rolled to the back of your head. The entire time, Hotch had just been sitting next to you, watching, occasionally running a hand along your arm or stomach.

Aaron reached behind your back and unclipped your bra, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor. He massaged your breast with one hand and used the other to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. He leaned next to you so that only you could hear him. "You like the way he makes you feel?" You nodded. "I bet I can make you feel even better," he whispered and tugged at one of your nipples causing you to moan again.

Spencer had your underwear off now, and was running his mouth all over you. He kissed you in the place you wanted to be touched the most. Your body was overwhelmed by his mouth and Hotch's hands, the way they were everywhere at once. You let out another "Spencer!" as he sucked and pulled gently on your clit with his lips.

"That's enough," Hotch ordered and pulled his hands away from you body. He made eye contact with Reid, waiting for him to stop but he didn't. You groaned again as your fingers ran themselves through his hair. "I said stop." Hotch was at the edge of the bed now, pulling Spencer's head away from you. Spencer looked annoyed, but didn't protest. Reid got back on the bed and started kissing your neck while Hotch took his old place. Leaning his head between your thighs, Aaron looked into your eyes then spit.

"Wha-ohhh" you weren't exactly against it, just confused. But you didn't get a chance to say anything because Spencer gently bit down on your collarbone, causing you to forget all words.

Hotch didn't use his mouth like Spencer. Instead, he rubbed his hand along your clit, dragging the spit around it. Up and down, up and down until it was too slow to handle. "Aaron please!" He chuckled at your response before rubbing his hand faster and faster side to side. He dipped them inside you and pushed in and out a few times to feel how wet you were. He returned to rubbing them on your clit, now they were even more soaked, enhancing the feeling. Your body started to shake and you thought you were about to cry out in pleasure when he took his hand away and stood up. "What the fuck!!" you were furious that he took you for far to the edge without letting you finish.

"Sit up," was his only response. You pouted but did what you were told, Spencer leaning up next to you. "Take his boxers off." Clearly at some point you lost control of this situation and Hotch was now in charge. You were slightly confused but did as you were told. Reid looked a little uncomfortable having his boss watch him become fully naked. Hotch leaned down, grabbed your hand and put it around Spencer's cock, guiding it up and down. He pushed your hair behind your shoulder as you continued to stroke Spencer, "Good girl, keep going."

Despite being touching Spencer, you held eye contact with Hotch, "Do you like this? Seeing me do this to him?" No response, but the bulge in his pants told you everything you needed to know and you giggled. You turned your full attention to Spencer, placing light kisses along his jawline and down his neck as you continued to move your hand.

"Y/n," was all he could groan out as his eyes shut and cock began to twitch.

Realizing he was about to come, Hotch stood in front of him and cupped his hand. "Into my hand." Spencer's eyes shot open about to yell no, but the overwhelming pleasure of your tongue swiping against his neck and hand rubbing against his shaft took control. And he did exactly what Hotch told him to. He sat there gasping while Hotch took two fingers and dipped them in the warm fluid in his hand. He turned towards you and slid those same two fingers into your mouth and you sucked every bit off of them. "You like that don't you?" You were mortified and he brought his hand down to in between your thighs and dumped the rest of it there. He rubbed it in lightly and you moaned, hating that it felt so good.

This time Spencer decided to take charge, "Lay on your stomach." You were surprised he was capable of being so demanding but then you remembered the other night... You did as he said and then heard the clanking of a belt hitting the floor. You realized it must be Hotch that was now positioned at your entrance. Your theory was confirmed when you saw Spencer walking over to your head on the opposite side of the bed. "Open your mouth." Oh. Oh. Were you really about to do this with Spencer and Hotch? Then you remembered that moments ago one of them fed you the other's...yeah so this couldn't be much worse. You slowly widened your mouth and Spencer placed his tip inside. You used your tongue to swirl circles around it and then wrapped your mouth around it sucking lightly as you looked up at him. Out of nowhere, Hotch slammed into you. You were about to cry out when Spencer thrusted his hips forward, filling your mouth with him. You gagged a little as the both of them rammed into you again. The feeling overwhelmed your senses, it was almost too much, but you didn't want it to stop. It was euphoric, the only thing you were focused on was them. Hotch started going harder, and you couldn't suppress the moan this time. It was more of a whine since your mouth was so full, but it sent vibrations down Spencer's length.

Reid stroked your hair and leaned his head back, "I'm so fucking close." You started pushing your head forward to match both of their pace to shove Spencer even deeper down your throat.

You heard a deep groan from behind you and then felt Hotch's hand reach around to massage your clit. He ran his fingers in quick small circles over it. You began to tremble, the touch everywhere becoming too much to ignore. You felt light tingling in your feet and your whole body shook while you moaned louder than ever before. It was one of the strongest, most earth shattering orgasms you ever had. It was pure ecstasy.

The feeling of your walls clenching around him made it too difficult to hold back and forced Aaron to give in to his own orgasm. You felt the throbbing then warmth inside you. The sight of both of you coming brought Reid over the edge for the second time tonight, filling your mouth as you swallowed every bit of it. Again.

Nobody moved for a minute. Then Spencer pulled himself out of your mouth, kissed the top of your head and flopped down next to you. Hotch did the same soon after but on the opposite side of you. Your body and mind was exhausted. The three of you laid there for a few minutes panting, tired, and unsure of what the right thing to say was.

You tried to keep your eyes open but your blinking started to slow down. You heard someone enter the bathroom, and then felt a cool towel wiping down between your legs. Your eyes refused to stay open but you felt arms around you, shifting you so your head was resting on the pillows at the top of the bed. The last thing you remembered before drifting off was a warm blanket being laid over you.


	15. Risky Business

When you woke up you heard two voices arguing. You turned to shove your face into the pillow as you groaned. It felt way too early for whatever conversation was going on. Oh shit! It took you a minute to remember what had gone down last night. You started to panic as you thought about how uncomfortable work was going to be. You rolled over again to face the voices and barely squinted your eyes open.

You heard Hotch snap, "It doesn't matter what you want. It's her decision to make."

You saw Spencer take a few steps back and forth as he set his hands on his head, "It isn't safe and you know it."

"That doesn't mean I can make the choice for her!" Aaron was raising his voice even more now.

You were becoming a little concerned and really hoped they weren't talking about you. What decisions were they even talking about? Too dangerous? It had to be someone else. You finally sat up against the pillows, neither of them had even noticed you were stirring. "What the hell are you two yelling about this early in the morning?"

Their eyes shot to you, the air in the room shifted and you could feel their nerves. Reid stared at you and then glanced at Hotch. He started to leave the room, but not before mumbling over his shoulder, "You tell her."

The door slammed shut and you leaned forward towards Hotch who was standing at the side of the bed, slinging his tie around his neck. "Tell me what?" You were more stern than usual, you didn't want him to sugarcoat whatever this was.

He sighed. "Reid woke up when I took a call about 30 minutes ago. It was from the police department, they found two more bodies." You understood how serious this was now. The unsub went from killing two people a week apart to two people in one night. "These are the pictures that were sent over from the crime scene." He watched your face carefully as he unlocked his phone.

You held back a gasp when you saw them. They had the same color hair, eyes and skin tone as you. Now that you thought back to the other two victims they looked slightly similar to you too. You guys had taken their looks into consideration, but the first two didn't look as similar as these did. "Oh," was all you could manage out. Besides it being unsettling to know women who resembled you so much were being killed in the area, something else bothered you. You were pretty sure you knew what they had been arguing about earlier. "You want to use me as bait, don't you? That's what you and Spence were arguing about?"

Hotch stared at you before responding. "The last thing I want is to put you in a dangerous situation, you don't have to do it if you're uncomfortable with it. But you know you're the only one who matches the unsub's type. If you choose not to, we'll have to use a different strategy. I don't want you to feel pressured, we can still catch him without doing this."

You perched on the edge of the bed closest to Hotch now. You knew you were the best chance they had and you couldn't stand the thought of him killing someone else because you refused to do this. You stared at the floor and pulled the covers tighter around your body, "I'll do it."

He stepped forward to cup your cheek, although he seemed more hesitant than usual now. Maybe because of last night. You dreaded the thought of ever having to discuss last night's events with Reid and Hotch, but you knew it was inevitable. He avoided your eyes,"Y/n, there's one more thing you need to know before agreeing. Garcia did some digging and was able to find a single connection between all four victims." You raised your eyebrows. "They all had the same occupation." Oh, you were expecting something worse. "They were all...", he cleared his throat, "exotic dancers." Oh.

-

It was 9pm as you stood fidgeting with the sleeve of your coat in the police station. Spencer hadn't talked to you for the whole day. He was furious when he found out you agreed to go undercover. He tried taking out his anger on Hotch, but you insisted it was all your idea. Considering his past, it made sense he wasn't the biggest fan of you practically handing yourself to the unsub. But this wasn't about you, it was about the women who were potentially in danger.

Hotch had contacted the owner of the club to let them know about the plan. She came into the police station to tell you the right way to act, talk to customers, etc. It eased your nerves slightly but you still had to worry about remembering. The plan was simple, you just had to get him to lure you away from the crowd. This is when he'd try to sedate you, but Morgan and Hotch would be inside posing as customers and they weren't going to let him touch you. The rest of the team would be waiting in cars outside, ready to move in once you had any sort of proof.

The cameras couldn't get a good angle on the unsub's face, but you knew he had short brown hair and saw his body type. You just hoped you'd be able to tell if it was him before he did anything to you.

You were minutes away from leaving and suddenly everything you were about to do hit you. You had worked at the BAU for a few years and gone into risky situations countless times. Never like this though. Someone called your name, signaling it was time to go. Before you could move, you were pulled into a tight embrace and Spencer's head rested on your shoulder. "Be safe," he whispered.

"I will," was all you could manage to say.

-

You didn't talk on the car ride over to the strip club. You stared at your hands for practically the whole drive. Hotch was driving and you could feel him looking at you through the mirror every few minutes. There was nothing he could say to reassure you though, because Morgan sat in the passenger seat in front of you.

"We're here," Hotch's voice shook you out of the scenarios you were imagining about all the ways this could go wrong. You looked up at him and nodded. The car was pulled up at the back of the club next to the employee entrance.

As soon as you stepped out of the car a hand squeezed your shoulder, "We're gonna be in there the whole time, Princess. Nobody is gonna hurt you." You nodded as Derek turned to walk over to the other car of agents and officers in front of the building.

You walked to the back of the car and leaned against the door to the trunk, out of view from everyone else. Hotch saw you and walked over, "Y/n-". Before he could continue you threw your arms around his neck, and pressed your face into his chest. His hand lightly rubbed your back, "You know I would never let anyone hurt you." You stood like that for a few more seconds as tears welled in your eyes. You didn't let any fall though; you weren't going to be able to show any fear tonight.

-

When you walked into the back room where everyone got ready, all the girls greeted you. They were slightly nervous because other than the first victim, the rest had worked here. They could tell you were nervous too so they tried to give you tips on how to blend in more. You sat down in a chair in front of a mirror and they offered to help with your hair and makeup.

It was 10:55 now and you sat in the chair with your curled hair and glittery makeup, coat still on, and legs slightly shaking from nerves. The girls sitting with you had changed as some came in for breaks and others went out to take their places. Nobody knew exactly when the unsub would show, so the plan was for you to go out around 11.

It was 11:02 and you still sat in that chair questioning whether or not you still wanted to do this. "Y/n! Come one the next song is about to start for your dance!" The manager of the club popped her head into the room.

Your jaw dropped to the floor. "M-my what?" What the fuck?

"You know the dance you're going to do? This unsub guy has only been taking girls who do dances," she stared waiting for a response. Fuck no. You weren't a horrible dancer, but you had never pole danced let alone in front of other people. You stuttered looking for anything to say. "I told Agent Hotchner, didn't he..." Her voice trailed off as she realized no, no he had not told you all the victims had given a dance on the stage. You were going to fucking kill him. He didn't think that would be an important part of the description for this job? 

You were already here, you talked to everyone who worked here, there was no way to walk out now. You really hated him at the moment. You shoved your chair out, stood up, threw the coat off, and stormed towards the door where the woman stood. Taking off the coat revealed the purple tiny lingerie set you were wearing. The club manager had bought it for you to make sure it blended in with everyone else's outfits. You begged her for it to not be too scandalous, she said she tried her best but this was still more skin than you'd like to show in front of your coworkers.

-

You walked onto the stage confidently, letting your anger take control. The song playing was "Stripper" by Sohodolls which luckily you had heard before, that would hopefully make this a little easier. There was another girl on stage but you were front and center. As you walked, you saw Derek and Hotch standing towards the middle of the room. You made eye contact with them then looked away, not wanting anyone to notice you knew them. Despite being furious at him, seeing Hotch overwhelmed you with nerves again. You almost stopped walking until you remembered the bigger picture-the job.

You knew you were going to have to improv this whole dance, luckily the beat of the song wasn't too fast. You had only walked through that door 10 seconds ago but it felt like hours. You made it to the front of the stage and started lightly swaying your hips, then your shoulders. You ran your hands along your inner thighs and up your stomach. While dancing, you tried to focus on the men in front to see if any looked like the guy from the security camera clips. Unfortunately, they all looked like shadows because of the dim lights facing the stage. You would just have to look once the dance was over.

You reached your right hand across your chest to rest on your left shoulder, then lightly dragged it across your collarbone. You sensually tapped your fingers once they returned to your right shoulder. You gently pushed your bra strap off your body before pulling it back up and giggling seconds later. You grabbed onto the pole standing in front of you and walked in a circle around it. You realized the dances the unsub liked involved doing a little more than walking in a circle. But what were you supposed to do? If Hotch had told you about this maybe you could've practiced or something...You snapped out of it and really hoped for the best. You swung one leg around the pole and spun, using your arm on it as balance.

You let your gaze wander and noticed Morgan and Hotch still staring at you. Duh, that's their job right now, you reminded yourself. When Derek's eyes met yours he let out a whistle. They were supposed to be acting like customers. But when you looked at Aaron you saw his gaze roaming all over your body. He was watching every move you made, taking in every second of it. When his eyes lifted to yours he raised his eyebrows. Shit. You realized you had probably been staring over there for way too long. You scanned the crowd again and felt a pit in your stomach when you made eye contact with a certain man up front with short brown hair.

-

okay so i've never been to a strip club before so this might not be the most accurate description lol. btw the song i chose is the one blair dances to in "victor, victrola" on gossip girl bc i wanted the dance to have a similar feel!!


	16. No Way Out

"Hey beautiful, how about a private dance?" You had just stepped off stage, but froze as you heard the voice behind you. You didn't have to see his face to know who it was.

You turned to look at him and gave a suggestive smile while grabbing the unsub's hand. You led him into a private booth where you closed the curtain. Hotch and Morgan would be waiting right outside of it until he made his move. You were wearing a small earpiece under your hair so they would be able to hear everything going on.

You slid into the booth so that you were sitting next to the man and he put his arm around your shoulder. You tried not to flinch as he touched you and placed your hand on his knee. "What's your name" He asked as he ran his hand up and down your thigh.

You leaned into his ear when you spoke, "Whatever you want it to be." Fuck, did people actually say these things or was that just in movies? You regretted it, suddenly afraid he would be able to see through your entire act.

Fortunately, all he did was laugh for a second. "How about that dance now?" He had a firm grip on your waist as he pulled you into his lap. This had to be it, you thought. If the victims had been sitting on his lap, facing away from him they wouldn't see him grab the syringe from his pocket. You hoped Hotch and Derek would pick up on the silence and interfere, there was nothing else you could do now. You took note that as you sat there on top of him only one hand was gripping your side, the other rested on the bench next to the two of you. You realized you couldn't wait forever, you placed one hand over his which was on your stomach. His other hand was in his pocket now. You knew he would try to sedate you any second and it seemed nobody could tell you were in danger. You did the only thing you could think of, you started giving him exactly what he asked for.

You placed your free hand on his arm that was reached into his pocket and felt his muscles tighten. Hopefully since both your hands were on his arms he wouldn't suspect anything. You held a firm grip on his arms while you roughly pushed your body against his. After probably 30 seconds of you giving your best attempt at a lapdance he let out a growl. Now was your time, "Do you want to come for me?" You said slightly above a whisper, putting emphasis on those last three words. You cringed at the thought of multiple coworkers hearing that sentence exit your mouth, but it didn't matter. If it was going to save your life it was worth it.

In a matter of seconds the curtains were thrown open to reveal Hotch and Morgan, guns raised and aimed right next to you. The sudden movement must have startled you, loosening your grip on his arms because now you felt a cool sharp object pressed against your throat. "FBI, put your hands up and let go of her," Hotch said as the curtain was still falling open. When he saw the unsub with a knife pressed against your throat, you caught a glimpse of fear in his eyes. "Drop it, now." You never understood how he could stay composed in situations like these. The angle the knife was at forced you to keep your head tilted back, barely allowing you to see the rest of the team enter and stand in front of the booth, their guns also raised.

The unsub only laughed in response to Hotch's request, "It's not gonna be that easy now." He dragged the knife to lower on your neck, allowing his other hand to grab your cheeks and yank your head down to be facing everyone. You felt tears start to fall down your face. Of course you were afraid of dying, but that's not why you were crying. You could see everyone's faces now. Derek's, Emily's, JJ's, Rossi's, Aaron's, and Spencer's. Hotch was standing in front so you knew he couldn't look concerned. But Spencer was towards the back and you could see the panic and terror on his face. You cried because you told him you would be safe. You couldn't stand the thought of him having to watch someone he loved die again. You cried at the thought of never getting to see Jack again or go to dinner at Rossi's. Never getting to work another case or make jokes on the jet home with Emily or go to some bar with Penelope. Snap out of it. You were going to have to be as strong as you could. "I will not say it again. Put the weapon down."

You felt the unsub quickly increase the pressure against your neck and then it was gone completely. You felt a warm fluid on your cheek and he fell to the side as the sound of a gunshot rang through the air.

-

As soon as you stepped out of the booth, Spencer ran to you holding his jacket for you to put on. In all the chaos you had almost forgotten you were almost completely naked. The second your arms were through the sleeves he pulled you into a tight hug and you heard a small sniff from him. You spoke quietly so only he could hear, "It's okay, I'm okay." He eventually pulled away and you were immediately wrapped in JJ and Emily's arms.

Derek walked over and gave you a kiss on the forehead, "Y/n, I'm so sorry I promis-".

You shook your head, "This wasn't your fault, Derek." He walked away and Rossi patted your shoulder.

You were still in between JJ and Emily when Hotch came over, "There's an ambulance outside, they'll need to take a look at you to make sure you're alright." You only nodded in response.

-

You sat in the back of the ambulance parked outside the club as the paramedics looked at the cut on your neck and checked for other injuries. That's when Hotch walked over. He didn't say anything so you stared at him in silence. You thought you were going to die earlier so all had been forgiven. When you didn't die you remembered how he conveniently forgot to tell you about the dance.

"Is there something you'd like to say?" You got tired of waiting for him to talk.

Hotch looked taken aback, "I was just checking on you." He paused and sounded confused, "Did I do something to make you angry?"

"Uh it's more like what you didn't do. The manager said she told you about doing the dance, you didn't think that detail might be a little fucking important to tell me?"

"Oh."

"Oh? That's it?"

He sighed. "I should have told you. I knew you'd get nervous and I didn't want you to have to worry about anything else. And I hoped if you found out I knew you would be mad which would get rid of some of the nerves. I still should have told you. I'm sorry."

You were still annoyed but it made more sense now. You looked at your feet and mumbled, "It's fine."

He stepped closer until he was less than a foot away, then set his hand on your shoulder. "I was so worried earlier. I wanted to do more but I felt powerless. I don't know what I'd do without you." His thumb traced circles over your jacket and you wanted nothing more than to get up and hug him. But you knew you couldn't. When Spencer, and everyone else, hugged you earlier it was completely normal because you were friends and they were worried. But nobody knew how close you and Hotch were, they would know something was going on if you hugged him.

He opened his mouth again but you already knew what he was going to say. "Don't blame yourself for this, Aaron. You did everything you could."

You could tell he wanted to protest but one of the paramedics interrupted your conversation to let him know you were good to go. "Let's get you back to the hotel, you should get some sleep before we leave tomorrow." You hopped out of the ambulance and headed over to the cars where the rest of the team waited for you.


	17. What Happens at Home...

When the team had gotten back from the case you insisted you were fine and didn't need any time off. Hotch wouldn't allow that though, so you eventually agreed to take one week off. Ever since you left the club that night, Spencer had been at your side. Sitting next to you on the plane, offering you rides anywhere you needed to go, and coming over almost every day of your week off. He told you he had plenty of sick days saved and that he'd use some of them to come over and spend time with you. Your heart melted at the thought of someone doing that for you, but told him he really didn't have to. Predictably, he didn't listen and still showed up at your door five of the seven days.

Everybody else dropped by at least once too to bring you food or just check in. Except for Hotch. He called you once to ask how you felt but the conversation lasted less than a minute. You didn't know what happened, but for some reason he was distancing himself from you.

You told everyone you were fine because in the day, you were. When you went to sleep though, you were having nightmares. All you could see was that man's face and it was like you could still feel his knife pressed against your skin.

Every time Spencer came over he spent the night. You hadn't exactly planned on it, but you watched movies and tv shows on the couch and at some point you always drifted off. The first night you woke up from one of your nightmares in the dead of night. It took you a second to realize you were in your living room instead of the bedroom and your head was resting against Spencer's chest. It was easier to fall back asleep knowing you weren't alone.

The next night you fell asleep on the couch again, but when your eyes opened you were in your bed. You walked out of your bedroom to see Spencer sound asleep on the couch. When he woke up you asked why he didn't sleep in your bed with you. His response was, "I didn't want to wake you, but it didn't feel right if I didn't ask." You smiled at that. You weren't sure if a guy had ever asked if it was okay to sleep in your bed before. The mornings that followed, you woke up with his arms around you in your bed.

-

It was the end of your second day back now, and you sat in the round table room with the lights dimmed. The whole team filled the room as Garcia reached across you to light the candles.

Penelope counted it down, "3, 2 ,1...Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" They sang, a few throwing in "Cha cha cha!" at the end. You smiled while you blew out the candles, thinking of what to wish for.

The room was empty and you were grabbing your bag when you heard Aaron's voice, "So I'll see you later then?"

You turned around and nodded, "Yeah around 7" before heading out. Even after two days of work, he still wasn't acting like himself. You invited him over for dinner, hoping you could figure out what was going on. You knew since it was your birthday he couldn't say no.

-

You had just slipped into your tight black dress that landed mid-thigh when you heard a knock. You pulled the door open to see Aaron standing there in dark jeans and a black polo, holding a bag of food. You stood staring at him for a second, black looked good on him.

You were broken out of your trance by him trying to hold back a laugh, "Uh can I come in?"

"Oh! Right, yeah, come in." You smiled at him as he walked over to your dining table. The room was dim, the only light coming from candles set around the room. You both sat down and he handed you the box with your meal in it. Since it was your birthday you hadn't wanted to cook, so you had him pick up Italian on his way over.

You were almost done eating when you finally decided to bring up what was bothering you. He had been talking to you more now that you were alone together, but it still wasn't back to normal. "Aaron...what's going on with you? Ever since that night you haven't been yourself."

He seemed surprised that you brought it up. "I...", it seemed like he couldn't find the right words to say. "I was standing right there, you were in danger and I froze. Morgan was the one who fired the shot, I was so busy worrying about you I forgot how to do my job. I felt the same way I did with Haley. After having all those feelings come back...you know how badly I want to be with you. But the thought of losing you..." His voice cracked before trailing off.

At this point you stood up and walked behind his chair. You put your hands on his shoulders and pressed your cheek against his, "You aren't going to lose me", you whispered. He turned his head and looked into your eyes before kissing you.

-

The two of you walked into the kitchen to throw away the trash and clean up dinner. His attention moved to you when there was a knock on the door. "Who's that?"

You smiled, "Dessert."

When you opened the door, there stood Spencer Reid. He wore a black button up and was holding a bag from the grocery store. He looked content as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, "Happy birthday, again." You shut the door when he stepped in, noticing him freeze after glancing at the kitchen.

Hotch had been at the sink facing away from the door but gave you a look when he saw Spencer. "Why is he here?"

"Why are you here?" Spencer asked in return, more defensive now.

Hotch walked over and put his arm around you, "We were having dinner."

Reid lifted the bag in his hand, "Well we were supposed to have dessert. For y/n's birthday."

You wiggled away from Hotch's arm and grabbed the bag Spencer was holding. You carried it into the kitchen and set it on the table, "You both need to calm down. Why is it such a big deal if I want to hang out with the two of you together?" You were standing in front of them now.

"Maybe because you didn't tell either of us about it," Aaron was starting to sound irritated.

"Yeah, I agree with him on this one."

"Well I knew you both wouldn't agree!" You looked between the two of them, trying to figure a way out of them being mad. "C'mon please, it's my birthday", you pouted waiting for a response.

"What could the three of us possibly do together that would be enjoyable?" Spencer seemed to be genuinely wondering.

Silence. You could think of a few things.

You stepped closer to him and ran your hand over his chest, full attention on him, "Welll...".

Hotch watched for a moment then spoke, "I'm leaving", as he started to walk away.

You grabbed his wrist, "Aaron! But-".

"I know what you're thinking and no. That was a one time thing, and a mistake at that." He didn't try to walk any further though. You rubbed your thumb along his wrist and he caught you by surprise by pushing you against the wall, lips slamming into yours. He quickly pulled away and his fingers gently wrapped around your neck. "You always think you're in control, don't you?" His soft grasp on your neck tightened but not enough to hurt you. Your eyes moved behind him to Reid's. Hotch had probably forgotten he was there.

You pulled his hand away from your neck and walked over to Spencer. You ran your hands from his shoulders to his chest all the way down to his thighs. You placed two light kisses on his neck then stepped away. "For the record Aaron, I don't always think I'm in control. But tonight I am."

You strolled back over to the table and opened the bag Spencer had brought from the grocery store. From inside it, you grabbed the can of whipped cream then headed to your bedroom, waiting for them to follow.

They walked behind you like lost puppies, waiting for your next move. You sat down on the bed while the two of them stood in front of you. Your room was dim too, only lit by candles like the rest of your apartment.

"Ugh it's so hot in here, why don't you take this off?" You leaned forward reaching towards the bottom of Hotch's shirt but he shooed it away. "Oh Aaron don't be shy, it's nothing we haven't seen before." You pulled at it again, this time he lifted it off over his head. He looked like he wanted to kill you, you were wondering how many limits you could push tonight.

You then moved to unzip his jeans, but he stopped you again. "What about him?"

You rolled your eyes, "Not yet. You're not in charge, remember?" Before proceeding to unzip his pants, you grabbed Spencer's collar and pulled him into a kiss. You continued to kiss him, tongues rubbing against each other as you undid Hotch's pants.

Spencer was still standing, but he reached forward to pull your dress off of you. "Sit down," you commanded looking at Hotch, who was only in his boxers now. He did as you said while you grabbed the whipped cream sitting next to you. You squirted some onto your chest and then licked a little bit off your finger. Aaron put his hand on your thigh but you responded, "No. Not yet." He removed his hand but didn't look happy about it. "Spence," you said motioning towards where you had just placed the whipped cream. He leaned forward and started sucking and kissing the whipped cream off the top of your breasts where it sat. Aaron sat next to you, only watching.

When he was finished, you finally unbuttoned and took off Spencer's shirt. You patted the bed next to you, signaling for him to sit down. You leaned in slightly to Spencer's ear, and whispered loud enough for them both to hear, "Kiss him."

He jumped back slightly at this, "Wha-Y/n no, I'm not kissing my boss."

Hotch spoke for the first time in a while, "And I'm not kissing him either."

You tugged at a lock of Spencer's hair and trailed your tongue along his neck, peppering kisses from his ear to his collarbone. "Spencie...please...do it for me", you almost whined. He groaned as your mouth moved all over him.

Finally when you pulled away, he said, "Fine."

"I said I'm not kissing him", it didn't sound like Hotch was going to change his mind.

You rested your index finger under his chin, "Loosen up a little." You tilted your head so your faces were nearly touching. "I'll give you a reward later if you do", your eyes focused on his lips the entire time you spoke.

When you pulled away, Hotch leaned across you and then Spencer did the same, their lips meeting in the middle. You watched every inch of their faces as their lips were together. It was surprising they even did it at all, but still you wanted to push your luck. "I don't see any tongue."

"Y/n do you really-" Spencer had inched away for a second to protest but was cut off when Hotch grabbed his face and pulled it back to his. This time you saw their tongues push in and around each other's mouths. You paid attention to the hand of Hotch's that was still in Spencer's hair. After about a minute, they pulled apart again.

Hotch was breathless when he spoke, "Better?"

You were smug with your response, "Much." You tugged at his boxers, leaving Aaron completely naked. You took the whipped cream and put some right on the tip of his cock. You looked at Spencer, "Clean it off." He looked petrified but then got on his knees in front of Hotch. You started kissing all over his body, sucking at his neck, hoping to leave a mark. At the same time, Spencer flicked his tongue over his tip, causing Hotch to groan. He swirled his tongue around before opening his mouth and inserting only the slightest amount of him in order to get the whipped cream off. When he was finished, he licked his lips and sat up on the bed again. "Lay down", you instructed Hotch and as he did you removed Reid's pants and boxers.

You whispered something into Spencer's ear, quiet enough to leave Hotch clueless. You then lifted yourself up and straddled Hotch. You placed yourself so that his length was right below your entrance. Hands gripped your waist from behind and Spencer pushed you down, forcing Hotch inside of you. His pace was excruciatingly slow as he lifted you up and pushed you down again. Spencer let go of you, letting you speed up a little. You slid your hands farther down the bed so you were practically laying down on Hotch as you continued to shove him into you. Then, you felt a finger tracing your other hole from behind. It stopped for a second until it was replaced with Spencer's cock driving into you. You screamed at the burning sensation he caused. It was painful in the best way possible. The next time his body rammed into yours, you used the momentum to push yourself forwards against Hotch, making him moan your name. He slipped his fingers into his mouth and then brushed them against your clit. He started rubbing it faster and Spencer was thrusting harder.

Your legs started to shake and you knew you were close. "I'm-I'm gonna-", you were interrupted by another one of your own moans due to Spencer yanking your hair back. You felt your walls begin to clench and then the most satisfying release. Your mouth hung open as your orgasm came and you felt both of the men inside of you start to throb too. It was only seconds before they were both moaning your name and filling you up in both places.

After Spencer pulled out he flopped onto the bed and you rolled off Hotch, laying in between them both. Your body was still trembling and the only thing you could manage to say in between breaths was, "Wow."


	18. Pleasure is my Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i've been wanting to name the chapters and i thought it would be cool if they were the names of criminal minds episodes so that's why they changed :)

You woke up much earlier than usual, when you glanced at your alarm clock it read 5:30. To your surprise you were still laying between both Aaron and Spencer. Hotch had his arm wrapped over you while your head was lying on Spencer's chest. You took in the moment, unsure of if it would happen again, and closed your eyes to get more rest.

-

The next time you woke up was to the sound of someone shuffling at the foot of the bed. You rubbed your eyes and sat up slightly, "Aaron? Are you leaving?"

He pulled one of his shoes on, "Yeah, Jessica just called, I have to go pick up Jack."

"Oh okay", you were upset that he was leaving but also slightly relieved. Spencer was still asleep next to you and you weren't sure how they would act if you were all awake together this morning.

"I'll see you on Monday", he rushed over to the bed to kiss your forehead, and then he was gone. You yawned and saw that it was 8am now, but you were still exhausted from last night so you closed your eyes once again.

-

"Y/n?" You heard a soft voice and felt Spencer's arms tighten around you.

"Hm?"

"Just seeing if you were awake yet."

Your eyes shot open and to your clock- 10:45am. "How long have you been up?"

"Since 9", you felt his voice against your neck as he nuzzled his head above your shoulder.

You turned to face him, "Spencer! Why didn't you wake me up?"

He shrugged, "I assumed you were pretty tired and it's not like we have anything to do today." You smiled at the thought of him sticking around for the whole day.

After a few more minutes of cuddling in bed you got up to take a shower and Spencer headed to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. You set a towel outside the shower and then stepped in. You turned up the temperature and let out a long breath of relief. You were sore in many places and the water helped relieve some of the tension. When you got out and dried off you spotted Spencer's button up laying on your bed. You slipped it on, only bothering to do a few buttons in the middle, and then a pair of underwear. You ran a towel through your wet hair once more before leaving your room.

You walked out to see Spencer sitting on the couch watching a crime tv show, holding a mug of coffee in his hand. You noticed another full cup sitting on the coffee table.

You sat down next to him and grabbed the cup, "Seriously? This is what you choose to watch in our time away from work?"

"Actually when I watch them I count how many inconsistencies there are between real criminal justice jobs and the shows." You laughed a little, of course that's what he did.

"And how many are you at so far?"

"Well, I'm only 13 minutes into the show and I've found 4 so far." He smiled playfully and you rolled your eyes.

While watching you sipped at your coffee and listened to him tell you every inaccurate plot or strategy the show had. At some point he laid his head down on your lap and stretched out across the couch. His eyes stayed open, still watching, even when your nails gently scratched at the back of his head.

A few minutes before the episode ended he shot up and looked at you, "Hey I just realized I never gave you your gift!"

You were surprised, last night was a pretty good gift, you didn't need anything else. "Spence, you didn't have to get me anything."

"Well, uh, I didn't know Hotch would be here last night so I kinda planned...um well...did you happen to see anything other than the whipped cream in that grocery bag last night?" You shook your head no. "Go look."

You walked over to the table where the bag still sat and opened it up. Inside was a long black cloth,

A blindfold?

You were even more shocked to see a pair of handcuffs and a tie lying beneath it. You held the three items up and raised your eyebrows. He spoke again and tried to bite back a smile, "That isn't all." You looked in the bag again and were confused when all you saw was a snickers candy bar.

You took that out of the bag too, "But Spence the only other thing that's in here is-". You stopped when he smiled watching you stare at the candy bar. "What could you even..."

"Wanna find out?" It was like he had two personalities. However, you weren't going to pass up this opportunity, so you followed him back into your bedroom.

"Sit on the edge of the bed." You did as he said and he began undoing the buttons of his shirt you were wearing. He pulled the sleeves off your arms and tossed it on the floor, leaving you in underwear only. You were always open to new things but you were slightly nervous as your mind raced to think of what Spencer was about to do to you. "Relax, you trust me right?" His hand cupped your cheek and you nodded.

He tugged at your underwear and pulled them off your legs. You watched him undo the wrapping of the candy bar. Your mind wandered, there were only so many things he could do with that...

He pushed your thighs apart, "You can tell me to stop at any point, okay?" You nodded and to your horror, he lifted up the snickers. He moved it closer to you and your eyes widened as he began to slip it inside of you.

"Spencer what the actual fuck!" He only laughed in response. He stopped pushing it inside, leaving about an inch sticking out.

"Blindfold then cuff me." Well this took a turn you weren't expecting. You leaned forward and tied the black cloth around his head tightly. Then you closed the cold metal around his wrists. "Now tie your wrists together with the tie sitting next to you. Do it loosely though because you'll have to get out of it by yourself." You did it to the best of your ability, but it wasn't very tight.

"Okay I did."

"Good", when he spoke he leaned in closer between your thighs. You could feel his warm breath on your center, he was so close but felt miles away.

He slightly turned his head to the side and his tongue grazed along your inner thigh, moving closer to your core. "Oh god", he barely touched you and already had you needing more. He moved his tongue side to side and then down slightly, trying to find your clit with it. His touch was so light it almost didn't exist.

He pulled away slightly then you felt the heat of his mouth on you. Kissing, sucking, doing everything he could with his mouth. After moving around for a few seconds, he finally found the place you wanted to be touched most. He swirled circles over your clit with his tongue forcing you to whine his name.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more intense, he moved his mouth further down, kissing until he reached your entrance. He felt the smallest part of the candy bar that was sticking out and opened his mouth more. You felt his teeth softly graze against your folds before they moved down to bite that part of the snickers off. "Spencer I-", you forgot all words when you felt his mouth again, this time his tongue inside of you. He used it to circle around the candy bar and push it against your walls, creating a sensation you had never felt before.

You felt sweat on the back of your neck, and a tingling in the pit of your stomach. He pushed against the candy bar again and slid his tongue down against it, forcing more of it to come out of you. This part was dripping wet from the liquid inside you. You almost laughed thinking about how Spencer couldn't see it. His lips tugged at your folds around the bar before he moved them to that, pulling it out slightly more. The feeling of it moving inside of you caused you to tilt your head back. Your instinct was to pull Spencer's hair, but when you tried to move you were reminded your hands were restrained.

"I'm so-so-" Spencer's lips were practically inside of you now, suctioning strongly to pull the rest of the bar out. You moaned as he kept sucking, pulling it more and more out. When you felt it leave your body completely, Spencer held it in his mouth and dragged it up and down your slit. Something in you clicked and you realized you couldn't hold it back any more. You felt that tight ball in your stomach explode and a tickle in your feet as your body shook. "Oh, oh, ohhh..." your orgasm slowly came to an end with Spencer's mouth still between your legs.

After a minute you wiggled your hands out of the tie around them. Then you reached to undo Spencer's blindfold. As soon as it was off, you pulled his face up to yours and kissed him. Your tongue slid along his lip, still able to taste the chocolate that was previously there.

"I hope that was a good enough gift."

"That...was...amazing," you said breathlessly in between kisses.

He gave you one final kiss as you stared into his eyes, smiling. He laughed, "Uh, y/n, I'm still handcuffed. The key is in my back pocket." You felt yourself blush, then you giggled again and reached into his pocket to grab the key.


	19. Derailed

You woke up early on Sunday, still tired from your birthday activities two nights ago and Spencer's "gift" yesterday morning. You showered and then got dressed for the day, heading into the kitchen to eat something. You had just finished eating your toast and fruit and were about to grab a pile of laundry to do when your phone dinged. It was from Penelope, to your groupchat with her, JJ, and Emily.

P: The four of us haven't done anything outside of work for weeks! Do you guys want to come over for lunch or go to the movies?

JJ: Lunch sounds great!

E: What time?

P: 12:30?

Sounds good, see you then!

You hit send then grabbed your basket of clothes before heading downstairs to the laundry room.

-

Penelope's house was 15 minutes away from your apartment, but you had lost track of time doing chores. It was 12:25 as you sat down in your car, rushing to put the keys in the ignition. You knew they wouldn't mind if you were a little late, but you hated being late. It was just one of those things, you had to be on time for everything.

You pulled out of your parking spot and started driving the route you knew like the back of your hand. Despite your urges to drive faster in order to be on time, you stayed right around the speed limit. You saw a red light in the distance ahead, but took your foot off the brake when it turned green while you were still about 20 feet behind it. You started to accelerate again right before you passed the light. You hummed to the tune of the song on the radio and tapped your finger on the steering wheel as you began to pass through the intersection.

For a split second there was a loud shrieking noise and the world spun all around you. And then everything went black.


	20. Sex, Birth, Death

You tried to open your eyes but squeezed them shut in response to the bright white light. When you turned your head slightly to the side you winced in pain. You were so confused it took you a moment to recognize the aching all throughout your body. You decided to try and open your eyes again, this time was more successful but the light still hurt.

"Miss Y/l/n?" You opened your eyes more now to see a doctor standing at the foot of your bed. You glanced around you and noticed the monitors and the loose gown you were wearing. You were in a hospital.

"What happened?" You groaned and tried to lift yourself up a little, but were unsuccessful.

"You were involved in an accident. A car that was driving too fast ran a red light and hit you. It's a miracle that your injuries aren't worse."

Before he could say anything else, the door flew open. "I'm going to kill whoever did this. You said you would tell me as soon as she woke up", Hotch sounded angry as he stormed past the doctor and leaned down next to you. He kissed your cheek and then held your hand in his, "Thank god you're alright, I was so worried." It almost looked like he was about to cry. You tried to think of something to say but your head still felt cloudy, all you could do was smile.

"Mr.Hotchner, I was just about to go alert you and the others. Miss y/l/n only woke up a few minutes ago." It seemed like the doctor was trying to apologize. All Hotch did in response was nod. "Before I tell them you've woken up, there's one more thing. I was going to tell you this alone, but that was before I knew the two of you were a couple." The doctor was fidgeting with his pen as he walked to stand closer to the bed again. "I'm very sorry Miss Y/l/n, but you lost the baby."

Suddenly you were wide awake. Your mouth dropped open, "The-the what?!" Hotch's hand let go of your own and he stood up and stormed out the same way he entered. "Aaron!" You called after him but he was already heading down the hallway. Tears started pouring down your face and your voice quivered, "I-I had no idea I was..."

The doctor came over and rested a hand on your shoulder, "You were only a few weeks along. I'm so sorry, please if there's anything I can do for you let me know."

You nodded and looked at him with your tear stained face, "Could you just wait a few minutes before letting anyone else in?"

"Of course", he turned and began to exit the room.

"Actually wait! Can you send in Emily Prentiss?"

-

After the doctor left to get Emily you had wiped your tears the best you could, you didn't need anyone asking unnecessary questions.

When Emily walked in, she rushed over to your side and gasped, "Y/n!"

"Em", you whispered as her arms wrapped around you.

"The doctor says you're going to be okay, I just couldn't imagine what I would do if...", her voice trailed off and a tear fell down her face. You tried to hold back your own tears but couldn't do it. This was all too much.

"Uh- um how is everyone else? Do they know I'm alright? I don't want them to be too worried, I'll talk to them all soon. I just thought it might be too much to see them all at once."

She sat in the chair next to your bed and nodded, "They'll understand." She lifted her hand up to her mouth and bit one of her nails while avoiding eye contact with you.

"Emily, I'm a profiler too you know. What is it you're not telling me?"

She dropped her hand from her mouth, "It's just...earlier, Hotch left for a few minutes to come see if you were awake. When he came back out he was mad, really mad. And then I asked him something about you, then Reid did, and he yelled at both of us and, and he said he needed some air." She watched you carefully.

"Oh."

"He's been acting strange a lot lately."

"Yeah, uh, I've noticed that too. Maybe something's going on in his life that we don't know about." You tried to keep her from connecting the dots.

"Yeah, maybe. Do you want me to get anyone else?"

-

Everyone had come in and checked up on you, nobody wanting to leave your side. When they did though, they were all together so you hadn't got a chance to be alone with Spencer yet. And to make things worse, Hotch still hadn't come back to your room.

It was night now, and you insisted everyone should sleep at home and they could visit in the morning if they wanted. As everyone left, Spencer told them he wanted to stay with you for a little longer to see if you had a concussion. Nobody questioned it and finally the two of you were alone.

You moved over to make room for him to lay down next to you and he rested his forehead against yours. He whispered reassuringly, "Everything's okay."

You closed your eyes, "Spence I need to tell you something."

His fingers rested under your chin, "What is it?"

"Sorry to interrupt", Aaron shut the door behind him and he moved to the end of the bed. Spencer moved away from you and sat on the side of the bed. "Does he know?"

You shook your head side to side, "I was just about to tell him."

"Tell me what?" Spencer seemed concerned.

"Spence, when the doctor was in here earlier. He...he..." Your eyes started to tear up again. You definitely did not want a baby right now, but something about you being pregnant and having no idea about it was overwhelming. "He told me I was pregnant. But I lost the baby."

Spencer stood up now, "You...you were..."

"I'm on birth control, it shouldn't have happened. I thought I was being safe, I'm- I'm sorry." Nobody spoke.

As the tears started falling, you noticed Aaron's facial expression soften. He looked at his feet, "It's not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for." He looked up at you, "I'm sorry for earlier, I shouldn't have left, I just needed some time."

"Yeah well I think now I need some time", Spencer turned to leave just like Hotch did earlier.

"I'll talk to him", Hotch followed him out.

And once again, you were left alone.


	21. Submerged

"Spencer, this is the last time I'm going to ask. Please call me back so we can talk. Or you could just come by Rossi's tonight with everyone else. See you later hopefully, bye." That was the 5th message you had left him since a week and a half ago when he walked out of your hospital room. You didn't want to be clingy, he just needed some time. But he was never mad at you and he never ignored you like this.

You ended the message and stepped out of Emily's car, walking up the steps to Rossi's house with her. After the car crash you had to stay in the hospital for a few more days. When you were released you went to Emily's and had been staying with her for the past week. You had a concussion, which you insisted was gone now, so you needed someone to help look after you. You knew Hotch would have said yes had you asked, but it felt like too much considering he already had a kid to take care of. He had texted you multiple times a day to check in though, he wanted to visit you but knew Emily would get suspicious if he did.

It was 7pm now and you stood knocking on the door to Rossi's house, wearing a short white sundress and brown wedges. The door swung open, "Y/n!" Rossi grabbed your face and kissed both of your cheeks. He put his arm over your shoulder as he walked you and Emily into the kitchen where everyone else was.

Between the incident going undercover and the car crash, Rossi decided to have a get together with the team to celebrate you recovering. You told them it was unnecessary, but of course they didn't listen. You were pulled into hugs from every direction; it was the first time anyone had seen you since you were in the hospital. Rossi passed you a glass of wine as you stood at the counter catching up with everyone.

-

10:00pm

You were three glasses of wine and 1 shot of vodka in and Garcia dragged you along with everyone else out to the backyard to dance. You wished in that moment that Spencer had shown up because you knew he would stand off to the side with you, laughing while watching everyone else. You tried to slip into a chair, but Morgan grabbed your arm, "What do you think you're doing? After Hotch and I saw you dance in the club the other night there's no excuse for you to not dance here." You sighed, dragging your feet as he pulled you back towards the group.

-

11:30pm

Everyone was sitting on the floor in the living room playing cards against humanity now. You threw your head back, cracking up at whatever Penelope just read. You only had a couple more drinks, maybe two glasses of wine since you danced outside? Then there were also three more shots. Or was it five?

-

12:40am

You lost track of drinks a while ago, it seemed like people just kept passing them to you. There was no question about it, you were wasted. Nights like these usually ended up with everyone staying over anyways. You curled up in the big chair situated at the corner of the living room, everyone else passed out on the couch, floor, or other chairs. Your eyes shut as you draped a fuzzy blanket over your legs.

-

1:50am

"Y/n...y/nnnn." Your eyes fluttered open at the sound combined with a hand gently shaking your shoulder.

"A-aaron?" You mumbled, you were still completely drunk and considering the way he hummed your name, you were pretty sure he was too.

"C'mon, I wanna show you something", he whispered next to your ear, trying to bite back a laugh.

"Aaron I'm tiredddd", you groaned and squeezed your eyes shut. You opened them a second later only to meet his deep brown ones, face only an inch from yours. You couldn't help but smile, seeing the pleading look on his face. You reached your hand up to grab his and he helped pull you up.

Standing up you giggled as you almost fell back onto the ground. He held your hand tighter and pulled your body against his. Using his free hand he pushed a finger against your lips, "Shh." He couldn't help but smile a little himself. He led you through the living room and kitchen, finally exiting the sliding door to the backyard.

Hand still intertwined with yours, he led you to the grass under the lights hanging outside. You shivered, "Aaron it's cold out here." You whispered as you spoke, tilting your head back slightly to look at him.

"Come closer then", his voice was like velvet as he tilted his head down to be closer to yours. Before you could respond, his hands were on your waist, holding you close against his warm body. You reached your arms around his neck and smiled, pressing the side of your face against his chest. You rocked back and forth with him until his hand met yours again. He lifted it up and twirled you around, spinning you back into his arms, smile not leaving your face the whole time.

After a few minutes, he picked you up with his hands under the backs of your knees. You laughed into his neck, "Where are we goinggg?" His only response was a laugh of his own. You turned around to see him heading towards the pool. "Aaron you better not be-", you were cut off by him picking up his pace then jumping forward with you still in his arms. The only thing you could do was scream.

The cold water rushed over every part of you and as much as you hated it, you loved it. The moment your head popped above water you swam towards him. "I'm going to kill you", you kicked your legs to stay afloat.

His feet still reached the bottom in the deep end, so you grabbed you again to hold you up. "I'd like to see you try." You stared at him, admiring the way the water glistened on his face and the small piece of hair falling over his forehead. He stared back at you, "What?" You grabbed the sides of his face and pulled it to yours. Your tongue slipped inside his mouth and you could taste a hint of the whiskey he had been drinking earlier. You tugged at his bottom lip and he groaned, moving one hand to you back of your head, pulling you even closer. You kissed him more, tugging at his hair while he grabbed a fist of yours.

You stopped for a moment, leaning your forehead against his. Your eyes gazed into his and he ran his thumb over your cheek, wiping a drop of water away. You took one hand off the back of his neck and put it under the water. You swiped it along the surface of the pool, splashing him in the face. You laughed and tried to swim to the other end but he grabbed your legs. You kicked them in an effort to still get away, but he pulled you back to him. He was laughing too now, and he let go of your legs as he shook his hair out. You once again treaded the water to keep your head up. You watched Hotch's face disappear below the surface and he grabbed your stomach, tickling you underwater. You laughed and kicked your legs in response. At the same exact time, the backyard door slid open.

"Y/n?"


	22. Cold Comfort

"Y/n?"

Your eyes shot to the door at the sound of Spencer's voice. Your smile fell and your eyes widened. He stepped outside, pulling the door shut. "What are you doing in the pool by yourse-" He stopped talking as Hotch's head resurfaced above the water.

When he caught his breath he immediately saw Reid but kept his arms wrapped around your waist. Clearly still drunk, he rested his head on your shoulder and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Standing with his hands in his pockets, through gritted teeth he replied "I was just leaving."

You had been completely frozen since he stepped outside, but you knew you couldn't let him leave like this. "Spence wait, don't go." With everything still spinning around you, it was a struggle to swim to the edge of the pool.

He watched you slowly climb out completely soaking wet, Hotch following behind you. "I should've realized there was no reason for me to come", he looked at the ground while barely speaking above a whisper.

You stepped closer to him, "I'm sorry Spencer, please don't be mad. I told you I wanted you here." You felt so bad about him seeing you with Hotch you had completely forgotten about how irritated you had been with him lately. "Wait a second, what the fuck! I am not the one who should be apologizing." All the emotions since he left you in the hospital came rushing back. "What the hell is wrong with you? I understand needing time, but you could've at least answered one of my calls. Or sent me one text. You didn't have to be a dick about it."

He definitely wasn't expecting that, you read the confusion on his face. "I know I fucked up okay," he was raising his voice now, "but it's not completely my fault." He walked closer so he was only a foot away from you, waving his hands in the air, "This whole idea was so stupid I can't believe you actually thought it would work."

Spencer never talked to you that way. You felt a lump forming in your throat with a shaky voice you responded, "Well you two agreed to it!" You gestured to him then turned and waved your hand at Hotch standing behind you.

"I only agreed because I knew it was the only way I'd have a chance with you!" His face was red and steam was coming out of his ears.

You could feel the tears start to fall down your cheeks. Maybe it was a shitty idea but that didn't make everything your fault. "Stop it Spencer you can't blame me!"

"Yeah well who should I blame for you getting pregnant and not knowing who the dad is!" Your anger dissipated and guilt rushed over your body. It was not your fault, you kept telling yourself. If that was true why did you feel so ashamed? Spencer's expression changed as soon as the words left his mouth, "Y/n no, I didn't mean that you know I didn-"

"That's enough." Hotch stepped forward and grabbed Reid's arm. "We're all at fault here but you have no right to talk to her that way."

"I was on birth control and I thought I-" You cried trying to explain yourself once again.

Spencer wrestled out of Aaron's grasp and rested his hand on your shoulder, "I know...I- I didn't mean that, it was completely out of line. I'm sorry."

Despite being indescribably mad at him, you dropped your head so that your cheek was resting on his hand. You sniffled, keeping your eyes shut. Being drunk threw your emotions all over the place, it was definitely not the best time for that argument.

Hotch glanced between the two of you, "Clearly we need to discuss this."

-

After Aaron grabbed towels for you to dry off the three of you sat around the fire pit that was still going. It was late summer but regardless, being wet at 2am made you freezing cold.

You stared into the fire hoping one of them would talk first. You thought about everything that had happened since that day on the plane when you proposed this idea. It was insane they both said yes. You thought of all the time you spent with both of them. Very unconventional to say the least, but you wouldn't trade it for the world. Despite being complicated, you had loved every second of it. But you knew all great things had to come to an end. You sighed, "We can't do this anymore, can we?" It was a question but you weren't asking them, you were telling them.

Hotch was resting his forearms on his legs and looked up at you, "No, we can't."

"I wanted it to work just as much as you did, but it's too much. Seeing you with someone else, even just knowing you're with someone other than me hurts." Spencer's voice was soft when he spoke.

"So that's it for all of us then?" You knew your original plan was to pick one of them, but that would be impossible. Not to mention you couldn't stand hurting one of them. Maybe the only fair way out was by yourself.

"I don't know y/n, that part's up to you." Aaron's voice pulled you out of your thoughts and both of them watched you.

"I- I can't just pick. It's not that easy."

"I don't expect you to, but I also can't play games anymore." Spencer gave you a tight lipped smile.

"You can think about it more. But I'm not going to wait forever, if I move on don't be surprised."

You nodded at Hotch and stared at your fingers as you fidgeted with them, "Of course." What were you expecting to hear? That they would both spend the rest of their lives chasing you? Still, the thought of either of them with someone else made your heart break. You finally realized that's how they felt this entire time.

Hotch stood up, "It's been a long night, we should all get some sleep."

You unwrapped yourself from the towel, "Goodnight", you tried to smile at them both. Entering the house again, you headed to the front room to grab a sweatshirt from your bag. Did you just get broken up with by two people at once? That was a first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't the end!! but this made me sad to write lol


	23. Lessons Learned

The morning after your breakups you woke up early and called an uber. Despite your head pounding from the excessive drinking, you went to Emily's, got together everything you had from staying with her, and went back to your place.

One of the worst parts of the situation was that you couldn't tell anyone about it. Emily, JJ, and Penelope were your closest friends and you had already been lying to them about who you were seeing. There was no way for you to lie about this. If you wanted them to know any part of it you would have to tell them everything and that wasn't going to happen.

When you got home you peeled off your dress, put on an oversized tshirt, then threw yourself onto your bed. You stayed still lying there on your stomach, head resting on your arms. You stared at the wall across from you, slowly blinking and feeling the minutes tick by. Not only were you going through two breakups, you were also extremely hungover. When you finally dozed off you dreamt of falling asleep in Hotch's arms and Spencer reading you a book with your head in his lap. Even in your dreams you couldn't escape your memories with them.

When you opened your eyes the clock read 2:27pm. Eventually you gained enough energy to stand up and walk into your bathroom. Glancing at the mirror above the sink you saw your reflection. You looked almost as shitty as you felt. Sighing, you walked over to the shower and turned the water on as hot as it could be without burning you. You tossed the tshirt onto the floor then felt the warm water fall over your body as you moved under the showerhead.

Tilting your head back so the water rushed all over your face, you felt your eyes begin to sting. You squeezed them shut in hopes it would stop you from crying. Through closed eyes, tears still dripped down your cheeks.

-

It was Sunday now, two nights after going to Rossi's house. The time between now and then was all blurred together, crying and sleeping were pretty much all you did. The moments you were awake for, questions rushed through your head.

What are they doing now? Are they as upset as I am? What about Jack, is there any way for us to still have a good relationship? How did this manage to get so messed up? Was it really that bad of an idea? How am I going to act normal at work again?

Work. You had work tomorrow. There was no way you'd be able to completely pull it together before then. You worked with profilers, they would question you until you told them the truth. You imagined how uncomfortable it would be for them to interrogate you while Spencer and Hotch were right there, listening to whatever lie you came up with.

After making dinner, you sat down on the couch to find something to watch. Flicking through channels on tv you came across the same crime show that Spencer put on the other day. You left it on, finding it comforting that maybe he was watching it too.

You cleaned up then headed to your room for bed even though it was only 8:30pm. Your anxiety was high thinking about going to work tomorrow so you knew falling asleep would be a challenge. Climbing under the covers, you stared up at your ceiling. You tossed and turned trying to get comfortable for what felt like forever.

9:04pm

It had only been 30 minutes but you felt restless just lying there. Just as you were about to shut your eyes again, your phone screen lit up.

S: Are you awake?

Yes

S: Can I call you?

I guess

The last thing you wanted was for him to call you. You knew hearing his voice would make you fall apart all over again. But you also knew you would be hearing it tomorrow at work whether you wanted to or not, so you might as well get it out of the way now. Your phone buzzed as his name filled the screen and you answered it. There were a few seconds of silence before he spoke.

"Hey." His voice was slightly raspy through the phone.

"Spencer, what do you want? I'm really tired."

"Oh, uh yeah, sorry. I ...I don't know. I just wanted to talk. We were friends before any of this happened, remember?"

"I remember. As much as I want things to be the same again, I have a feeling they never will."

"You're right. I should go, sorry, I shouldn't have called."

As sad as it made you, talking to him was comforting. "Spence no, I didn't mean for that to come off the wrong way. I just meant things are going to be different now."

"Yeah, I know."

You racked your brain trying to remember what a platonic conversation with Spencer Reid was like. "So what have you been reading? I don't think we've talked about books for a while."

"I read 50 shades of Grey today."

You knew he couldn't see over the phone but you rolled your eyes anyway. "Really Spencer?"

He laughed a little, "I'm trying to expand my horizons. It's refreshing to read something a little less serious than usual."

You couldn't help but smile at the thought of him reading certain scenes of that book. "Find any new interesting ideas in it...Dr.Reid?"

"Actually I recall having one similar experience to a scene in which Christian ties Ana's wrists with his tie."

"Hmm what a lucky girl that must've been..."

"Indeed, not everyone gets a birthday gift like that."

You tried to keep your mind from wandering to the morning after your birthday...the tie around your wrists, Spencer blindfolded and handcuffed, the snickers bar. You bit your lip remembering all the places his mouth touched.

"Y/n? You still there?"

You snapped out of your thoughts and stuttered a little, "Oh, uh, I- yeah I'm here."

"What were you just thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"Wow, that's a bit demanding Dr.Reid. That book must have really got to you."

"What are you wearing right now?"

Was he really trying this two days after you broke up? "So many questions tonight."

"It'd be nice if you actually answered some."

"Okay fine Dr.Reid, I'm wearing a silk nightgown."

"Hm."

"What are you wearing?" There was no harm in playing his game a little.

His response was short at first, "Boxers." He paused before continuing, "Do me a favor, reach into the middle drawer of your nightstand and get out your vibrator."

Well that escalated quickly. You didn't remember ever telling him that's where you kept it. "I- how did you even kno-"

"Why does it matter y/n? Do it."

You thought for a second, you knew this couldn't end well. At the same time this might be your last chance to do something with him, even if it was over the phone. You reached into the drawer of your bedside table and grabbed the small pink vibrator out of it. "Okay. Now what?"

"Good girl. Don't turn it on yet, just touch yourself over your clothes."

Your breath quickened, his voice was enough to turn you on. You moved your hand over your breast, brushing against your hard nipple through the silk fabric. You brought your hand down over your nightgown to between your legs. Your hand grazed over your underwear, gently massaging your fingers up and down. You let out the quietest noise, but with your phone still up to your ear he heard it perfectly clear.

His gravelly voice echoed in your ear, "Do you like touching yourself for me?"

"Mhmm."

"Put your hand under your panties now."

You did as he said, rushing to feel more stimulation at your core. Your three middle fingers were pushed together and you moved your hand side to side, fast but without much pressure, over your clit. "Ohhh", you moaned again.

"You're following my directions, right?"

"Mmm y-yes Dr.Reid."

"Turn on the vibrator and use it however you'd like."

You jumped at the opportunity and grabbed it from beside you. You turned it on and moved it down your slit and inserted it inside the slightest bit. "Oh god", it already felt so good, you hadn't realized what hearing him talk did to you. You moved it out and bad to your clit where you increased the pressure. "You make me so wet Spencer."

You heard a grunt on the other end of the phone then, "Turn it up to as high as it goes."

You did as he said and slip it up your entrance more than the previous time, hitting your g-spot. After a minute of it shaking your walls from inside you, your felt the pit in your stomach begin to grow. "S-spencer I'm-"

"No. Turn it off now and take your hand away."

You whined in frustration, "What no you can't-"

He apparently could still hear it, "Do what I said y/n." Breathlessly, you turned the vibrator off. "You drive me crazy, you know? Do you have any idea what you've done to me just through the phone?"

"No Dr.Reid, I don't. Enlighten me?"

"You make me so hard just from the sound of your voice moaning my name. God, I wish you were here so I could put that pretty little mouth of yours to use." He was panting, you could only imagine him moving his hand up and down his length as he spoke.

"I need you so bad, I want to see you inside me again." He moaned in response which made your walls clench and the rest of your core beg for touch. "Please Dr.Reid, please let me touch myself again."

"Fine, but only because you've been good."

You turned the vibrator back on again and used it to circle your clit, increasing then lightening the pressure. You pushed it inside one more time and knew you wouldn't last long. You set your phone down next to your ear so you could still hear Spencer, then moved that hand to rub against your clit. "Oh fuck, shit, I'm- I-"

"Cum with me, y/n." His voice was like honey, words sliding right off his tongue. Hearing your name sent shockwaves through your body. You dissolved into pleasure and cried out a string of profanities along with his name while he groaned yours.

The two of you sat in silence, panting for a few seconds. "Well, uh, I..."

"Yeah um, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Night", you hung up the phone. Tomorrow? Right, tomorrow at work. This definitely wouldn't make going back any easier.


	24. Profiling 101

Walking into the office Monday morning, you adjusted your collar then your skirt at least 3 times. You were suddenly very aware of your appearance. Not only was this the first day back since the phone call, it was also your first time seeing Spencer or Hotch since Rossi's house. Taking a deep breath, you walked over to your desk and sat down across Spencer. You waited for some look or remark.

Nothing.

He stared with a new intensity at the paper sitting in front of him as he moved his pen. When you sat in your chair, you furrowed your brows then cleared your throat in his direction. Eyes still not moving, the only thing he said was, "Everything alright y/n?"

"Uh yeah, fine." You logged into your computer trying to pretend he wasn't ignoring you. What the fuck was wrong with him? It wasn't like you called him.

The next few hours went by too slow. With every word you typed in your computer you hoped Spencer would say something. Even if it was some trivial fact you would forget by tomorrow, anything would be better than the silence. After many yawns, you finally decided to go get a cup of coffee. You turned after standing up to see if Spencer was watching you.

Nope.

Entering the break room, you grabbed your mug from the cabinet. As you started to pour your coffee you heard the door open. Not looking to see who it was, you lifted the drink to your lips and blew on it. You turned to walk out and nearly jumped when you saw Spencer standing less than a foot in front of you. "Shit Spencer, you startled me!"

He didn't seem to care, "We need to talk."

You rolled your eyes, "Yeah I tried, it didn't seem like you were too interested in that earlier."

He bit the corner of his lip, "You're right, I didn't know what to say after last night. That's actually what I wanted to talk about."

"What about it?"

"It can't happen again. I know I'm the one who initiated it but that was a mistake. We both need to forget about...whatever it was we had."

"Uh yeah that's what I was trying to do. Then you called me."

"Listen y/n, I am sorry. Just promise me we can try to be normal friends again? At least as normal as we can be."

Your gaze didn't move from his eyes. "Okay. I promise that I'll try." With that you left the room and returned to your work.

-

You never really were the best at keeping promises.

It was Friday, four days after you and Spencer agreed you'd try to be regular friends again.

There had been 3 more phone calls like the first. It was oddly therapeutic. Not only did they end with you satisfied, they were also a way for you two to warm up to each other again. All of them started with talking about your personal lives the way friends would. It also made it easier to see him in person. You were slowly talking more at work even though it wasn't quite as much as before. As for things with Hotch, you had only talked to him a handful of times and it was all work related while in the office.

4:53pm

Only 7 minutes until the weekend and you were determined to make this one better than the last. You strolled over to the printer to grab one last paper. On your way back to your desk Rossi called out to you, it seemed he was on his way out, "See you tonight, y/n!"

Huh? Tonight, what was tonight?

He read your confused expression instantly, "Didn't they tell you?"

"Who? And tell me what?"

He laughed, "Your parents! They're taking the team to dinner tonight."

-

You hurried around your bedroom, slipping on a pair of black heels to match the rest of your outfit: a short silky black dress with lace accents and a thin silver necklace. Putting on a jacket and grabbing your purse, you hurried to your car.

Living in Maine, your parents only visited a few times a year. You didn't find it odd that they invited the whole team to dinner though. Rossi and your dad worked together in the early days of the BAU and still kept in touch, usually seeing each other when he was in town to see you. As for the rest of the team, your parents had met them a few times, mainly from Rossi's events. They loved catching up with everyone which you understood, you just wished they would have given you a little more notice about this dinner.

Pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant, you glanced at the clock and noticed you were 10 minutes late. Great. Walking inside you saw the large group instantly. It only took you a few seconds to find the only empty seat, right in between Hotch and Reid. And across from your dad.

Your dad called out when he saw you enter the room, "Y/n!"

You said hello and gave both your parents hugs before sitting down. Your mother apologized about three more times about giving you such short notice about them being in town. She insisted that Rossi was supposed to tell you this morning.

"Dave has been telling us about your cases lately and..." You listened as your dad continued to ask everyone about what was going on in the field. As much as you loved him, he really didn't know how to talk about much other than work.

On one hand, Spencer was acting completely normal. It was nice to be able to laugh with him again. On the other hand, you were trying to figure out how to act with Hotch sitting on the other side of you. You hadn't been this close to him since in Rossi's pool. While you had been working on fixing your friendship with Reid, Hotch seemed to be slowly falling out of your life. Through the appetizers you hardly looked at him and you could tell he wasn't looking at you. It was like he was a stranger.

When the main courses arrived you worked up the courage to glance at him for a second. You saw him smiling down at his phone at a picture of Jack, probably one Jessica sent. He immediately felt your eyes on him and to your surprise, his smile didn't fade. Instead, he lifted the phone up to show you.

You couldn't help but smile too, "I miss him you know." Shit. Hopefully that wouldn't ruin the moment, it just came out of your mouth as soon as you thought it.

He hesitated before lowering his voice, "He misses you too." It looked like he was going to say something else but his phone rang. "Sorry, I have to take this," he directed to everybody at the table. You watched him step out of the restaurant then reached for your drink to take a sip.

Your dad looked at you before saying loud and clear, "So y/n, how long have you and Aaron been seeing each other?"

You nearly choked on the sip of water you just took and coughed, "Wh-what?" You could feel everybody's eyes on you.

"Oh c'mon y/n, I may be old but I was a profiler. It's obvious the two of you were struggling to ignore each other. Not to mention your body language and faces when you talked."

You sat completely frozen and cheeks burning red, unsure of what to do. You tried to compose yourself, "Dad, no. I'm close with everyone on the team, including Hotch, you know that." You could almost feel Emily and Morgan laughing at you from the opposite end of the table.

Your dad continued to stare with a smug grin on his face, only responding with "Hm."

The tension was only broken when Hotch came back and sat down again, "Sorry about that." His eyes lingered on your face for a moment and you snapped your head back towards your plate, blushing again. Everyone's conversations were starting to pick up again when you felt a soft hand on your knee. You looked at Spencer confused, but his only response was to tighten his grip as he talked to your parents. The change in pressure almost caused you to gasp, you had forgotten what his touch was like. Hotch broke you out of your trance, "Y/n, everything okay?"

You nodded, "Mhm." Your heart was beating faster, if Spencer moved his hand even an inch farther up your leg you were going to kill him. As if he could read your mind, he slid his hand up to rest on the hem of your dress. You gritted your teeth and discreetly peeled his hand off you. As much as you loved him touching you, in person was much different than over the phone. It seemed like now he was the one who couldn't make up his mind. A puzzled look crossed his face, he seemed taken aback by you removing his hand. Instead of acknowledging it though, you made a comment to Rossi about the current discussion going on.

When 9pm rolled around everyone started saying their goodbyes. You were still standing talking to your parents when Morgan, JJ, and Emily headed to their cars together. As he walked away Derek turned around and drew a heart in the air with his fingers. Noticing Hotch was standing next to you, you rolled your eyes and tried to distance yourself from him.

You hugged your parents again and wished them a safe flight since they were going home the next day. Everyone remaining began walking to the parking lot and you quickly went to the bathroom one last time.

When you exited the restaurant you saw Spencer standing right outside the doors. Instead of talking to him, you walked straight past him. "Y/n! Hey, I was waiting for you."

"Yeah I figured."

He grabbed your arm, forcing you to look at him, "Is everything okay?"

Your eyes finally met his, "No, what the fuck Spencer! What is wrong with you? We are not together, what makes you think it's okay to be touching my leg at a dinner table?"

"I...I'm sorry, you know I would never want to make you uncomfortable but-"

"But what? You got jealous because my dad made a comment about me and Hotch?"

He waited a moment before responding, "The phone calls I just thought..."

"You thought what Spencer? You're the one who said you didn't want them to happen and you're the one who said you wanted things to be normal again. You change your mind every 10 minutes and it's too much for me to keep up with." You glanced at his hand still on your arm, "Just- just let me go okay?" You barely whispered loud enough for him to hear, then you felt his grip release you.

You fast walked to your car, grabbing your keys out of your bag when you were close. "So are you gonna tell me what's going on or what?" You jumped at the sound of Emily's voice, looking up only to see her leaning against your car.

"What do you mean?"

She tapped her foot impatiently, "Oh god y/n, did you forget you work with a team of profilers?"

What was she getting at? How much could everyone else possibly know...

"Ever since that camping trip you've been acting differently. Hotch and Reid too. Not to mention you never have time to hang out with JJ, Garcia, and I anymore. Or what about Hotch's outburst at Spencer and you being the one to go calm him down? Them looking like they wanted to strangle each other at the hospital after your accident? The yelling outside at Rossi's? Do you want me to go on?"

Oh. Apparently you hadn't been as sneaky as you thought. "Well, you know, I, um, well..." You stuttered trying to come up with an excuse, anything other than the truth. You realized there was no getting out of this. "Fine, promise you won't tell anyone? Not even Penny or JJ."

"Never."

"Well, uh, you know I always had a little thing for both of them. And during that trip I found out they both sort of felt the same way. But there was no way I could just pick."

She raised her eyebrows beginning to understand where this was going, "Oh y/n, please tell me you didn't try to date them both." Your silence along with fidgeting with your hands was enough of an answer for her. You didn't know what to do in that moment other than hug her. She rubbed her hand over your back, "Hey, don't worry, it's gonna be fine."

Your face was pushed into her shoulder, "It's been hard keeping it all to myself." Admitting everything made it more real, but it felt so nice to finally tell someone.


	25. Retaliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> link to the dress i was trying to describe lol! https://www.livingly.com/runway/Couture+Spring+2006/Elie+Saab/-KO1QQzBOyP

"Y/n come on, I want to see it!"

"Penny, I don't know. It might be too much," you sighed and peeked your head out from the dressing room curtain.

"I'm sure it looks great just show me already!"

You pulled the curtain all the way open, revealing the loose gold threaded chiffon dress that ended right past your feet. Stepping towards the mirror, you tied the silk belt that landed at the top of your waist. As you turned to face Penelope you noticed her mouth hanging open. You were worried about her not saying anything yet and tried to break the silence, "It might be a little over the top."

"Y/n you'd be crazy not to buy it, everyone is gonna be drooling over you. And it's a gala, you're supposed to dress up!"

Trying not to blush you responded, "Okay fine. I'll get it but I can't guarantee I'll end up wearing it."

Penelope tried to hide her smile, "Whatever you say."

-

Staring in the mirror, you slipped on a pair of small earrings. You glanced at the clock while putting one last bobby pin in the loose bun that rested on the back of your neck. As you bent down to slip on a pair of heels, the two curled pieces of hair outside the bun fell in front of your eyes. You took one last look in the mirror, admiring the dress Garcia helped you pick out a week prior. When you heard your phone ring you grabbed your purse then headed to the car waiting outside.

The FBI Gala was an event hosted every other year at a museum in DC. Most departments were invited, but it was still seen as an honor to attend. You had been to a few before but didn't necessarily look forward to them considering you had to be around so many high ranking people. In the past you went with Garcia and Emily, but this year they brought dates meaning you had to bring one too. As much as you wanted to go with Aaron or Spencer you knew that wasn't realistic. Instead you had to settle for...someone else.

-

The car pulled into the valet line and before you could, someone opened your door. He shut it behind you and you linked an arm in his.

"Have I mentioned how good you look tonight?"

You held back a laugh, "Only about 4 times throughout the car ride."

The two of you walked up the steps leading to the entrance, "Sorry, it's just, I'm really glad you asked to see me again."

"I'm glad too, Liam. Work has been really busy since our date a few months ago and I just didn't have any free time. But I'm glad we can catch up now."

"Me too."

-

You walked down the large staircase and scanned the ballroom for your table. Since the BAU was so small, everyone from the team was able to sit together.

The first person you saw was Hotch, pulling out his chair about to sit down. He looked good. You saw him laugh and followed his eyes to the seat next to him where a woman with short brown hair sat. Your heart sank at the sight of them together.

Arm still intertwined with Liam's, you arrived at the table. Aaron's eyes met yours immediately, "Y/n, I don't think you've met my date yet. This is Beth."

Smiling, she reached out to shake your hand, "So nice to meet you."

She seemed nice enough but seeing her with Hotch made you indescribably angry. Faking a smile you replied, "You too." You then noticed everyone staring at Liam standing next to you,"Oh, I don't think anyone here has met my date either, this is Liam." You sat down watching Aaron's face fall at the sound of his name. You were pretty sure JJ was giving you a look too but you ignored her. As you sat down and conversations resumed you realized Spencer was the only one not there yet.

He walked up to the table about 5 minutes later with a woman around your age who he introduced as Austin. You instantly remembered him telling you about her a while back. She was a bartender he met on a case a few years ago and they kept in touch occasionally. You gulped when they sat down and he put his arm over her shoulder. You took a large sip of the wine sitting in front of you. It wasn't your fault you got jealous easily.

Throughout dinner you made sure to rest your hand on top of Liam's on the table and laugh at every joke he made even when it wasn't funny. When dessert came around, you were slightly tipsy. You took a small scoop of ice cream and put it in Liam's mouth, giggling as you did so. Face just inches from his, you almost forgot there were other people in the room. Your thumb slid across his bottom lip to wipe away a remaining drop of the ice cream. You proceeded to put your thumb in your own mouth and suck off the ice cream. In return he kissed your cheek, causing you to jump the smallest bit. You didn't want his affection, you were simply putting on a show.

"Hey, you wanna go dance?"

"Uh, sure." You tried not to trip over your own feet as you got up and let him lead you to the center of the ballroom where others were dancing. You hated ballroom dancing. But anything was better than watching Aaron and Beth or Spencer and Austin anymore.

One hand clasped with Liam's, the other resting on his back. The two of you followed everyone else's lead, taking steps to the side then forward then back.

You were too caught up in pretending you liked Liam that you didn't hear a voice echo through the speakers, "This next dance is a partner swap."

You went through the steps as usual but after he spun you, you felt him let go. Before you could comprehend what happened, you felt a soft hand grab the one that had just been let go of. When you turned around, Spencer was standing there reaching his other hand out to rest on your waist.

Your eyes lingered on his and you cleared your throat in an attempt to break the silence. As awkward as it was, you weren't going to be the one to talk first. Ever since the dinner with your parents things had calmed down at work between you and him. And Hotch. But it was different now and you were tired of being the one who fixed everything.

As you continued to dance you held eye contact with him. He leaned his head down closer to yours, "Y/n-". He looked around at everyone else dancing and instead of continuing, he spun you just as Liam did and once again you were met with a new partner.

This time the hand that grabbed yours was firm. You spun around to see Hotch who grabbed your hip with his free hand and pulled you close to him.

Your chest was pressed against his and your breathing got heavier. "Hotch."

"Y/n."

You stared behind him trying to look anywhere but his eyes.

"The name Liam rings a bell, are you sure you haven't introduced him to us before?"

Ignoring his smug tone you rolled your eyes. "No, I haven't."

You still didn't look at him but you felt his head lean in next to your ear. His breath was warm and his voice low, "I could've sworn you said something about him leaving you...unsatisfied. It's a shame you have to settle for someone like that."

Your cheeks flushed red and your head jerked up. "You must be thinking of someone else, I never said anything like that." You tried to create more room between the two of you as the room was suddenly feeling very warm.

"Hm. Your body language is telling me otherwise."

"Don't profile me!"

A familiar part of the song came around and once again you were spun. But this time the hand didn't change.

You were met with Aaron still standing in front of you, pulling you in close. "What are you doing, we're supposed to switch partners."

His grip tightened and his hand moved lower down your back, "We aren't finished."

You could tell the song was coming to an end and most people stepped away from their partners. You saw Liam in the distance approaching behind Hotch.

Aaron must have noticed too because he looked down at you and whispered, "Just remember you had other options." He released his hands and walked away as soon as Liam reached you.

"Everything okay? You look a little shaken up."

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I'm just going to go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a few." With that, you left the dance floor and watched Liam head back to your table.

-

The museum was huge so it took you a few minutes to find a hallway with bathrooms. When you exited the bathroom you planned on returning to the ballroom. Instead, you saw Hotch leaning against the wall outside the door. As soon as you stepped out he grabbed your arm and began leading you farther down the hall.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Instead of responding, he opened a door and pushed you inside. He shut it quietly behind him and you looked around to see you were in a dimly lit library. What caught your eye most was the wall across the room made up entirely of glass. Since the museum was on an incline, the huge window gave a clear view of the city.

"Woah," you walked towards it, mesmerized by the lights coming from all the buildings, "have you been in here before?"

You heard him walking up next to you. "A few times."

Suddenly, you remembered you were supposed to be angry with him and your back stiffened.

You continued to stare out the window but he turned to face you. "Still mad about what I said earlier?" You chose not to respond. "It was only the truth."

You crossed your arms and turned to him, "What's your problem with Liam anyway? It's not like you didn't bring a date too."

"Oh what, are you jealous of Beth?"

You held back a laugh, "Uh yeah, sure."

His head tilted to the side, "You're being a little rude, y/n. I might have to teach you a lesson."

Your smile dropped and you felt a tingly sensation in your stomach. He was not supposed to have that effect on you anymore. You both stood there staring at each other for a minute. It had been a long time since he spoke to you like that and you were getting nervous.

The tension was broken by Hotch lunging forward and attaching his lips to your neck. You immediately leaned your head back and let out a soft moan. He pulled one strap off to your shoulder while moving his mouth down your collarbone and then to your breasts. Your eyes shut as you felt his tongue roaming over your upper body. His touch was intoxicating and in the moment there was nothing you wanted more.

When he pulled away you leaned towards him, grabbing onto his forearms for balance. Your eyes were locked on his as you stood together. His voice was soft when he spoke, "Get on your knees."

Without thinking at all you obliged. After kneeling in front of him, he took a loose strand of hair and tucked it behind your ear. Before receiving further instructions you started undoing his belt then unzipping his pants. When you pulled down his boxers you saw he was already hard. You leaned forward, grabbed his hips for balance, and gently swirled your tongue in circles over his tip. You moved your lips down his length, gently placing kisses over every spot you touched. One hand wrapped around the base as you finally took him into your mouth. Your head bobbed back and forth quickly for a few seconds and then excruciatingly slow. Glancing up, you saw his eyes shut and his arm leaning against the wall for support. You gradually picked up your pace again, taking more in with every movement until his member was hitting the back of your throat.

His voice was gravelly when he looked down at you and said, "That's my girl." You felt heat growing below your stomach and his words only encouraged you to go faster. "Stand up, I don't want to finish yet."

He reached his hand down to help you up and once again you did what he said without question. As you stood there he moved to behind you and wrapped his arms gently around your waist. He peppered kissed over the back of your shoulder and neck while dragging his hands closer to your center. Abruptly, he stopped and turned the both of you to be facing the large wall of glass. Still kissing your back, he moved you forward until your body was pressed against the glass. Fingers grazing over your core, he finally dropped one hand to rest between your thighs.

You practically whined, "Aaron please."

His teeth proceeded to run across your shoulder before using them to pull your other strap off. He moved them back to your shoulder only to lightly bite down on it. For a second he pushed you against the wall harder, allowing you to feel his length against the back of you. He rapidly moved his hands to your waist, using them to flip you around so that your back was facing the wall and your face was towards him.

Before he had a chance to do anything else you grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips to yours. As much as you liked everything, else you were desperate to kiss him. His tongue slid against yours and you gently tugged at his lower lip with your teeth. Breathless, you pulled away for a moment and he rested his forehead against yours while one of your hands laid on his cheek.

"I've missed you."

Hearing that made you smile, "I've missed you too." His hands rested against the wall on either side of your head, making him lean over you. Suddenly more confident, you decided to push your limits. "You know, the way you acted when we were dancing made it seem like you're the jealous one."

His face fell and he leaned into your ear, "You're going to wish you just didn't say that." He grabbed the middle of your dress, hoisting it up over your hips and revealing your bare body. His eyebrows raised, "No underwear?"

You smirked, "I was thinking Liam might get lucky tonight."

Hotch didn't find that as amusing as you did. His hand grasped around your neck and he squeezed lightly. His other hand moved down past your stomach and he rubbed his fingers back and forth over your clit. He removed them only for a second to put them in his mouth, he then slipped them quickly inside of you causing you to wince. As quickly as they were in they were out, tracing circles around your clit.

You whimpered in anticipation, "Aaron."

"Maybe you should think more before you speak, y/n." As he spoke his grip around your neck tightened again, which only made you more wet.

He released his hand from your neck and flipped you towards the wall, quickly positioning himself at your entrance. He pushed only the tip inside from behind but then pulled it out after a second.

He did nothing for what felt like forever. Finally he moved again, dragging his member up and down over your slit but not putting it in.

Unable to take it much longer you cried in desperation,"Please, I'm sorry for what I said. I was just kidding." You felt him enter you slowly, but once his cock was inside he didn't move at all.

"Beg for it."

"I need you Aaron. Please, I need you to fuck me."

That seemed to be good enough for him as you felt him begin to thrust, going hard but still slower than you would have liked. His hand returned to your center, rubbing his fingers back and forth at a fast pace while he fucked you.

He began ramming into you faster but slowed down his fingers while increasing their pressure. You pushed forward against the glass, desperate for more friction from his fingers. You moaned, gradually getting louder as you felt him begin to throb inside of you. You were beginning to get overwhelmed by the sensation of his fingers and cock together. He grunted a few more times and then you felt his fluid fill you up and drip down your leg. You felt sweat bead on the back of your neck and your legs started to tremble.

"Does Liam make you feel this good?"

"No, oh god, please let me cum Aaron. Please."

"Cum for me", he growled making you throw your head back against his chest. His fingers dragged down your leg, picking up some of his own cum and using it to rub against your clit again. Simultaneously he used his free hand to pet the top of your head. You felt dizzy as you leaned against him and waves of pleasure rolled over you. Your knees went weak and Hotch used his arm to help steady you.

After catching your breath, you pulled your straps up and he walked over to where his boxers and pants laid on the floor. You were adjusting the rest of your dress when you came to a realization. "Aaron what were you thinking! You knew I wasn't wearing underwear and it's not like there are any wipes in here."

He laughed when he understood what you meant. Buckling his belt he walked over and planted a kiss on your neck then shrugged. Still smiling he said, "Have fun with Liam", then proceeded to walk out of the library.


	26. Middle Man

"Y/n, there you are! I was starting to worry about you."

You walked up to where Liam was sitting with JJ and Garcia in the ballroom. You tried to smile at him, "Sorry, long line for the bathroom."

Suddenly, you felt guilty about what you just did with Hotch. It's not like you were dating Liam or anything. You didn't even like him that much but he was just so nice to you.

The more you thought about it, the hotter the room got. "Hey, uh, sorry to take off again but I think I need some fresh air. I promise I won't be long."

You got up and quickly walked out the doors leading to a large balcony. Going over to the railing, you took inhaled deeply. Breathing out, you shut your eyes.

You only opened them when you heard Spencer from behind you. "Y/n, what are you doing?"

Turning around, you saw him only a foot away from you. "It was getting hot in there and I needed some air."

"No. I mean what are you doing?" Your confused look was enough to tell him you didn't understand. "I thought all this was done. Me, you, Hotch. I thought we were all moving on and then I saw the two of you disappear in a room together for thirty minutes."

How was he always in the wrong place at the wrong time? "Spence, were you following me?"

"No, I was looking for the bathroom when I saw you." He looked up from his hands and into your eyes, "I thought this was all over, so what are you doing?"

"I-I don't know. I thought it was over too."

"How can you have those phone calls with me then turn around and have sex with him?"

"Spencer don't do this again. Both of those things went two ways and you were the ones to initiate them. I'm just as confused as you are."

"I'll make it less confusing for you, I'm done with the games. I thought I made that clear a while ago but apparently not." It felt like you already had this argument with him a million times. But this felt different, his voice was softer and less angry. "The only way for me to get over you is for you to not be part of my life."

Now that you didn't see coming. Tears started to well up in your eyes and you reached out to grab his arm, "Please, we said this wouldn't change our friendship. Regardless of what's happened we're still supposed to be friends."

"I'm sorry but I'm serious this time, I can't keep doing this."

"Just-just give me one more day, okay? I promise you by tomorrow this will all be figured out and if it's not then you never have to speak to me again."

"Fine, one day but that's it. For real this time." You watched him walk back inside and you turned back to the railing, staring out at the city.

-

Sunday morning rolled around and you woke up in your bed next to Emily and Penelope. When you sat up to glance at the clock, your head pounded. Reaching over to grab the glass of water from your bedside table, you were reminded of last night's events. When you came back in from the balcony, you made it your goal to forget as much of the night as possible. Of course, Em and Garcia helped you on your task to get blackout drunk.

Unfortunately, your plan didn't work how you hoped because you still remembered being with Hotch in the library and Spencer on the balcony. Luckily, the other memories were pretty foggy. You sat in bed sipping your water and racking your mind to remember how you got home. Then it hit you.

Liam.

After seeing how wasted you three got, he offered to drive you all back to your place. He made sure you all got into your apartment safely. Once again, he was being so nice. Dating him would be an easy way out, but you knew you didn't want that.

You got out of bed and quietly turned on the shower, trying not to wake up Penelope or Emily. You stood there washing your hair, replaying what you said to Spencer.

"Just give me one more day."

You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth, because you knew you couldn't make that choice. But it was better than losing him.

When you got out of the shower, you entered your room to see the bed empty. You heard the pattering of rain against your window as you threw on a sweatshirt and leggings. When you entered your kitchen, Penelope was finishing pouring three cups of coffee. You grabbed one and noticed Emily was on the phone.

You took a drink from the mug and motioned towards Emily, "What's that about?" Penelope shrugged in response, taking a sip from her own cup.

You watched Emily's face fall and she started pacing around your kitchen. "I understand. Yes, thank you." By the time she hung up you and Penny were starting to worry.

"Em, what is it?"

Emily stopped pacing and stared at you. "Last night..." She seemed to be looking for the right words when she moved her hand to her mouth and started biting her nails.

Penelope looked between the two of you, "What happened?"

"Last night around the time we left, Strauss called Hotch and Reid in to review a case they worked on together a few months ago. And..."

Your heart started to pound faster and you snapped, "Emily just tell us!" You couldn't stand the look of pity she was giving you.

"There was an accident."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was short, but i finally know how the ending is gonna go so i'm gonna update more often again (:


	27. All That Remains

"There was an accident."

Penelope's hand flew to her mouth, "Oh god, are they okay?"

You didn't blink. Standing there, every horrible possibility raced through your mind. Eyes beginning to water, your voice was barely a whisper when you spoke. "What do you mean by an accident?"

"Remember a few months ago when Hotch and Reid were called to Nevada for that bomber case? Yesterday Jackson Arnold, the unsub, escaped from prison. He wasn't exactly the biggest fan of the FBI being involved in his case. When Strauss heard he was on the loose, she called in Hotch and Reid for information on where he might have been headed. According to her, they had just figured out where he was going when the bomb went off in the office. It's not for certain but it sounds like there weren't many others in the building."

You practically fell back into the closest chair. "According to her? Are they okay?"

She tilted her head trying to find the right words. "She was the first to wake up and that was only a few minutes ago. There are a few others at the hospital now but...they found one man dead upon arrival. They haven't been able to ID him yet." You heard Penelope gasp beside you. A wave of nausea flooded over you and you barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up. You heard Emily following. She grabbed your hair and held it back while trying to reassure you, "Y/n listen to me, I'm sure they're fine. They weren't the only ones in the building, it could've been anyone."

You lifted your head and sobbed, falling into Emily's arms. "But-but what if it was one of them?" Another minute passed of you sitting on the floor with her crying before you spoke again. "Take me to the hospital. Please, I need to see them."

-

The hospital they were at was only 20 minutes away from your apartment, but the drive felt like hours. The whole ride was practically silent.

The entire time you were worrying, wondering which one of them it was. Because the second Emily said someone was dead, everything became crystal clear. There was only one of them you couldn't live without.

-

Before the car even came to a full stop, you were unbuckling your seatbelt and jumping out. The rain fell hard against your face as you ran up to the entrance. By the time you got inside and to the front desk you were soaked. The desk was empty, leaving you to frantically scan the room for any doctors. You saw a man in blue scrubs walk out from a hallway and you ran up to him and grabbed his arm.

"Spencer Reid. Please, is Spencer Reid here? Is he okay?"

"Ma'am I'm going to need you to fill out-"

"Just tell me he's okay? I'm his...I work with him. And Aaron Hotchner, are they both here?"

He waited a moment before looking down at the chart he was holding. "Mr.Reid is in surgery right now. Nothing too complicated, it should be an easy procedure. Aaron Hotchner is in room 239. He was asleep the last I checked but I can take you to see him if you'd like."

You nodded your head and followed him back down the hallway.

-

Tapping your foot, you glanced at the clock again. You had been in Hotch's room for nearly an hour and he hadn't opened his eyes yet. On top of that, Spencer's surgery was supposed to be done in 30 minutes.

You jumped in your seat when you felt a hand on top of yours. Hotch's eyes opened the slightest bit, then shut again. You scooted forward to be leaning right over him, "Aaron?"

The corners of his mouth tilted the smallest amount upwards and his voice was groggy, "Y/n."

Instantly, you shot up out of your chair and bent down to hug him. You whispered into his neck, "Thank god you're okay."

"I'm better now that you're here."

The relief you felt seconds ago was replaced with guilt. All you could do was smile at him.

Over the next 20 minutes, a doctor came in to check up on him and you sat silently in your seat.

"Y/n, what is it?" You were startled out of your thoughts by Hotch's voice. You gulped as he continued, "Something's bothering you."

You nodded. "I-I don't think this is the time or place to talk about it though."

His eyebrows furrowed and then his whole face relaxed as he came to a realization, "It's about Reid, isn't it?"

"Aaron, you know I love you." Your eyes stung and voice cracked, "And I know we can't keep doing this between the three of us." Unable to look at him, your eyes moved down to your shoes, "I didn't mean for it to be him."

All he did was turn his head away from you.

You stood up and placed your hand on his cheek, "I'm so so sorry."

His hand covered yours that was on his cheek. He whispered, "I'll always love you." Tears flowed down your face and you had no idea what to do. "Go check on him. His surgery is probably almost done and I'm fine here."

"Hotch don't-"

"Really I'm fine, just go."

Exiting his room, you bumped into Emily, Derek, and Penelope. You sniffled and wiped your eyes, trying to appear normal. "He's awake." They nodded and it looked like Emily wanted to tell you something but you pushed past them before she got a chance.

-

When you got to his room, the door was only half shut. You knocked, pushing it all the way open. "Spence?"

He sat up in his bed, awake. "Come in."

You hurried over to him and sat on the edge of his bed before wrapping your arms around his neck. "How are you feeling? Are you alright?"

Your arms still around him, he smiled. "Just a little sore but I'll be okay."

You brushed a hand through his hair to push it out of his face. You stared at him for a few seconds, trying to find the right words. "I know this isn't the right time, but I need you to know this now. Earlier when I thought I might have lost you, nothing felt real. I had no idea what to do." As you continued to talk, you got nervous. You didn't know if he would still want you after everything that had happened. "I love you Spencer. And there's nothing I want more than to be with you."

He pulled the back of your head down so that your lips met his. The kiss was slow and warm and it felt like everything was finally the way it was meant to be. "I have never loved anyone the way I love you y/n."

You grabbed his face to kiss him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not gonna give anything away, but there are probably gonna be around 40 chapters. it's not over!!


	28. Remembrance of Things Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-i know this is a criminal minds fanfic so it's a given that there will be some mentions of violence, but at the end of this chapter there are some details of a case that might make people uncomfortable! it's not too graphic but i feel like it's important to mention just in case

After being released from the hospital, Spencer got a week off since his surgery was minor. When he returned though, he wasn't allowed to go into the field until his doctor cleared him. You still had vacation days saved, so you used them to help look after Spencer the way he did with you. The only difference was this time you stayed with him at his place rather than the other way around.

Those seven days were spent almost all the same. You cooked for the two of you, watched tv together, and played board games. Your favorite part though was right before bed. Spencer would pick a book for you to read to him while he fell asleep. Though you both knew he could read much faster by himself in his head, it was comforting for him to hear your voice before drifting off.

Hotch was understanding when you asked for the week off to help Reid. He was polite but didn't say much. It reminded you of when you first started working at the BAU; Aaron was straightforward and didn't converse with you unless it was necessary. You had to remind yourself he wasn't being rude, he was acting the way he always did.

-

The awkwardness came the day you and Spencer returned to work. Given the way you acted in the hospital and taking the week off, the entire team knew you and him were together. Though they had some theories before that, Emily was still the only one who knew you had been with Hotch too.

The two of you walked into the office together and everyone, especially Garcia and Morgan, teased you. After Spencer was questioned about how he felt, you heard Hotch's voice from outside his office. "Y/l/n, Reid. I need to talk to you for a moment."

You gave each other a look before heading up to his office together.

"Have a seat and shut the door please." Hotch was, once again, acting unusually normal. He looked between you and Spencer and noticed you toying with your fingers in your lap. "You can relax," he pushed a sheet of paper between you two, "I just need you to fill this out. It's an acknowledgement of your relationship and how you won't let it affect your work."

You let out a breath and glanced up and down the paper Spencer was now holding. While he signed it, you looked out the open blinds to see Emily staring in at you. She raised her eyebrows and you rolled your eyes, bringing your attention back to the paper. You signed it quickly then handed it to Hotch. His fingers brushed against yours and you felt your heartbeat quicken. You hurried to let go of the paper before standing up. You cleared your throat and avoided eye contact with Spencer.

"I-is that all you need?" You felt his eyes piercing through you, but you refused to look at him.

"Yes, that's it."

You hurried towards the door, feeling Spencer's arm wrap around your back as you exited the room. You noticed him glance back at Hotch's office at least twice before you returned to your desk. You sat down, noticing the seats next to you were all empty. Looking around you saw Emily and JJ in the break room and Derek and Penelope talking outside her office. Spencer must have noticed too because standing behind your chair he leaned against your desk, one arm on either side of you.

You felt his breath against your ear and he whispered, "I don't like the way he looks at you." You turned your head to look at him, then followed his eyes up to Hotch's office.

"Spence-"

"Woah woah woah, other people still work here lovebirds." Morgan's voice followed by a laugh snapped you out of your conversation. Reid removed his hands from your desk and threw them into his pockets while trying to stand up straight. You tried to smile and pushed your chair in further, hoping to get lost in your work.

-

"Do you wanna spend the night at my place?" you asked as soon as you and Spencer got in your car to leave work. He didn't answer at first. "What you said earlier...I'm sorry if things were weird between me and Hotch."

"It's not your fault, everything is just going to take some getting used to I guess." He put his hand on your knee, "And yeah I'd like it if I could spend the night." You smiled before pulling out of your parking spot and driving home.

Upon entering your apartment, you both decided to make pasta for dinner. You kicked off your shoes and went to the bathroom before starting to cook. When you came back out you noticed Spencer had taken off his tie and jacket, leaving him only in a button down with the sleeves cuffed.

You were stirring the sauce when suddenly you felt his lips against your neck from behind you. You tilted your head to the side and giggled, "Spence..."

"Hm?" He trailed kisses down your neck and across your collarbone while wrapping an arm around your waist. You couldn't help but to moan at his touch. You turned and stood on your toes in order for your lips to meet his. You tugged at his bottom lip with your teeth and his hands wandered from your back down to your thighs.

He grabbed behind your knees to pick you up, carried you over to the living room, then laid you down on your couch. He climbed on top of you and you tugged his collar to pull him back into a kiss.

"Wh-what about the food?" you asked breathlessly.

"It can wait."

You wasted no time, your fingers unbuttoned his shirt followed by you helping him pull it off his arms. Your hands moved up and down his chest while he pulled your pants off then helped you out of your shirt.

He moved your bra to the side allowing his mouth access to your breasts, making you moan again. His head moved up to yours and he grabbed the sides of your face before kissing you again. After a minute he slid down so he was positioned in front of your underwear. He rubbed a hand over them lightly, "You like that?"

"Mhmm."

He pushed them to the side, letting his thumb circle your clit for a few seconds. He then replaced his thumb with his tongue, letting it slide back and forth over you. You whimpered when he took his pointer and middle finger and rubbed them against it with more pressure than his tongue. Spencer pulled your underwear down to your ankles and then removed his own. He lifted up closer to your face again and you ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes.

He inserted himself slowly, only letting the tip in. He hardly moved, but did just enough for you to feel it. "Oh god, Spencer, please!"

"You're mine, got it?" he whispered. Before you could respond he pulled himself out of you, removing all sensations from your core. He grabbed his cock with his hand and used his tip to slowly rub his tip up and down over your clit.

"Yes, yes I'm yours! Please just fuck me!"

He put a hand on your cheek, "I love to see you beg." He sat on the couch regularly and motioned for you to sit on his lap. You faced him, putting one leg on each side of him. He helped you sit on his dick, letting it fill you completely. You started to move up and down but after one motion he grabbed your hips and held you down. "No."

You scrunched your face in confusion, but instead of an explanation he removed your bra. Feeling him inside of you without movement was almost worse than no touch at all. Still holding your legs down, he leaned forward and sucked on your breasts again. His tongue flicked your nipples which made you attempt to move, desperate for some type of friction. He nodded his head and his grip on your body loosened. He held your waist and helped you move up and down, finally feeling satisfaction.

Your fingers dug into his shoulders for balance as your body rolled against his. It was only a matter of minutes before you were shaking on top of him and reaching your climax. He finished just seconds after you, leaving you both exhausted on your couch.

-

The following days at work were easier. You were remembering how it was when Hotch was only your boss.

Interacting with him now felt forced though. Like you both were hiding something, only neither of you knew what. You kept reminding yourself it would get better with time. To you, things were pretty good at work. That's why you were surprised to come in 3 days after your return to hear Hotch was taking a few days off. You couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with you and Reid.

Not everything revolves around you. Maybe he just wanted to spend some time with Jack. Or maybe he's sick.

You tried to reassure yourself it wasn't you driving him away from his work. It also took everything in you to not text him to make sure everything was okay. You tried to ignore that it bothered you that he didn't tell you he was going to be gone for a few days.

-

The day before Hotch was set to return, the BAU received an influx of cases. Garcia was conflicted and asked you and Prentiss to help her choose which one the team would take. You of course agreed and headed into her office.

"Hi my lovelies! Take a seat and let's see what we've got."

You sat in the chair next to hers and stared at her computer screen as she pulled up the different case files. Emily stood in between your chairs sipping her coffee.

"Usually one will stand out, but these all seem equally important."

You scanned over them, "Hmm..."

"There's a possible child abduction in Montana, two men missing in West Virginia, an apparent murder suicide in Louisiana, and a prostitute was found dead in New York."

"What's up with the murder suicide?" Emily asked, looking closer at that file on the screen.

"Let me check..." Garcia typed away for a few seconds before a more detailed report came up. "A family of four was found dead, it seems the dad shot his wife and two kids before killing himself. Local police don't think it was the dad because of signs of intense torture on him as well as his family. The exact same thing happened to another family in the area on the same day of last month."

You thought for a second before responding, "I vote we take that one."

Emily nodded, "Agreed."

Penelope started typing again, "I'll let everyone know."


	29. Broken Mirror

The black SUV came to a screeching halt and you, Hotch, JJ, and Morgan hopped out. Seconds after you, a second car pulled up which Emily, Rossi, and Spencer stepped out of. Behind them were two police cars. Everyone rushed to put on their vests while Hotch issued orders.

"Reid, you go in through the front and try to talk him down. His hatred is towards the mothers and women in general, you'll be the least threatening to him. Morgan you follow him while Prentiss, Dave, and I get the back."

You waited for him to tell you where to go, but nothing. JJ sprained her ankle, making her unfit to go in but there was no excuse to have you waiting around outside. Not to mention you hated the idea of Spencer being the one to face the unsub.

Everyone looked between you and Hotch, seeming confused. "What about me?"

He glanced over to the street where a news van was driving towards you. "You and JJ deal with the press."

Was he serious?

"Hotch what's wrong with you, when have I ever 'dealt with the press'?"

"Y/l/n, there's a family inside that house with a man who is about to kill them. Is this really the time to question how I do my job?"

You responded through gritted teeth, "No sir."

Spencer gave you a sympathetic look and as he started to walk in the direction of the house you grabbed his hand. You pulled him down to kiss his cheek as fast as you could. "Be safe in there. Please."

"I will." He rubbed his thumb over yours before returning to his previous path to the house.

After choosing this case with Penelope and Emily four days ago, the team flew to Louisiana. Hotch met you all there one day in and you could tell something was off with him. It killed you, but you didn't ask about it.

Based on the way he just treated you though, you were wondering if it had to do with you and Spencer. This was your first case together as an actual couple and everything felt normal until now. It felt like you were sending the person you loved into a trap to get killed.

You bit your nails and paced back and forth in small circles.

JJ nodded her head towards the reporter stepping out of the news van, "Hey, I'll deal with them. He's going to be fine, don't worry." She gave you a reassuring nod and went to deal with the media.

-

10 minutes of radio silence went by.

And then, bang. A single shot was fired.

Your heart raced and every horrible scenario filled your head. The worst part though was that you worried about Hotch, then Spencer. It all happened in a matter of seconds, but still you wondered why your boyfriend wouldn't be the first person you'd worry about.

You let out a sigh when you saw Spencer and Hotch walk out safely, along with the family and the rest of the team. Spencer walked over and you rested your head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're alright." In response he leaned down and gave you a small kiss.

"Y/l/n, we need to talk." Hotch's voice brought your attention to him and you nodded your head. The two of you walked over to one of the cars where you leaned against the trunk. He stood with his arms crossed in front of you. "The way you acted was completely unacceptable. I don't know what made you think acting like that would be tolerated, but it won't happen again. Understood?"

Your anger from earlier had dissipated and you were just glad to know he wasn't hurt. "Understood, sir."

"Good."

Before he could walk away, you placed your hand on his shoulder. "Hotch...I'm glad you're okay."

His face softened for a moment before returning to its usual expression. "Right, well, uh we should get back." He motioned towards the rest of the team and you nodded.

-

1 month later

"Spencer it's my job too! What did you expect to happen when we started dating?"

"I don't know y/n! The only thing I do know is that I need you to be safe."

"Well you're going to have to start trusting me the way I trust you." You had been walking around your hotel room, arguing with him for at least the past ten minutes.

It was 10pm and the jet landed outside of Jefferson County, West Virginia no more than an hour ago. The case of two missing men here a month ago took priority now as they were found dead in a nearby river. Not to mention there was also another man missing.

Your argument had nothing to do with this case though. Spencer was mad because of what happened during the team's last case. There had only been one between Louisiana and this. And during that one, Hotch happened to send you in first.

Strategically, it made sense due to the unsub's M.O., but Spencer didn't like it very much. He tried arguing with Hotch about it, almost the way you had on the previous case, but he was more aggressive. At first you weren't bothered because he was just being protective, the same way you had felt before. But the more you thought about his words, the less it sounded like he believed in your capabilities.

Things had been a little tense since then because you tried bringing up the topic at least twice and he ignored it. Now that you were stuck in a hotel room together he couldn't escape it.

"I do trust you."

"Start acting like it then. I heard the way you were talking about me to Hotch. It wasn't just wanting to protect me, you didn't think I'd be able to do it as good as someone else could."

"That's not true."

"I was a profiler before we started dating, Spencer. I was perfectly capable of doing my job then and I'm capable of doing it now too." You sat down on the queen sized bed and put your head in your palms.

"How many times do I have to say it? I trust you, I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know that, but what do you want me to do? Our jobs aren't exactly safe so we're just going to have to live with the risks."

He stood in front of you now, voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know if I can do that, y/n."

Your voice cracked when you spoke, "Wh-what did you expect to happen when we started dating, did you want me to quit?"

"No I just-I don't know."

"Well Spencer, I hope you can understand that I'm not quitting my job just to make you more comfortable. I would do a lot of things for you, but I can't give up my career. I get nervous about you too but I just have to believe you'll be alright."

He avoided looking at you, "I don't know if I can live with that."

Your eyes stung as they began to fill with tears, "What are you saying Spence?"

"Maybe, maybe we just need a break. We can take some time to think about this. Separately."

You stood up from the bed and walked over to grab your suitcase. "Fine. Whatever you want Dr.Reid."

He reached out to grab your arm but you swatted it away. "Y/n, don't do that-"

"Stop. You're not my boyfriend anymore so I'm gonna go sleep in Emily or JJ's room."

"All I said was a break because I think it would be good for us. It's late, I'll sleep on the couch if you want, you don't have to bother them."

Despite what he said, you continued to the door and let it slam shut behind you.


	30. The Thirteenth Step

The hotel room door shut and you immediately felt sorry about not staying. You leaned your back against the wall and took a deep breath. You would just work it out in the morning after both of you cooled off.

You turned to go to Emily's room when a different door opened. Hotch stepped out of his room. "Y/n, is everything alright? I heard yelling."

"Oh it's fine um...well actually..." You contemplated telling him about what happened, he did used to be your friend after all. Then another thought crossed your mind- if you were on a break would sleeping in the same room as Hotch count as anything? You wouldn't do anything, just ask him if you could sleep on the couch.

No, you weren't like that. No matter how angry Spencer made you, you wouldn't do that to him. "I'm just gonna spend the night in Emily's room, I'll see you tomorrow."

He could tell something was off but decided not to question you. "Right, sleep well."

"You too" you smiled at him before continuing down the hallway.

-

You woke up in Emily's bed alone to the sound of her opening in the door. "Morning," she placed a cup of coffee on the bedside table next to you, "Hotch wants us at the police station in 30."

You took a sip and nodded before getting up to go to the bathroom. Before shutting the door, you stood in the doorway. "Hey, Em?"

"Hm?"

"Did you see Spencer at all this morning?"

She sat down at the edge of the bed, "I did actually, when I was downstairs getting coffee I saw him leaving with his suitcase. He wanted me to tell you there was an emergency with his mom and he's going to Nevada to see her. He gave me the key to your room so that you can sleep in there since he's gone."

"Oh, uh, okay. Thanks." You stood still, biting on the corner of your mouth and you could feel her eyes still on you. "I just wish he would've come and told me, you know? Not to mention I wanted to talk about what happened last night. I guess that'll have to wait until we're home."

"I'm sorry y/n, I know how much he loves you and you love him. I'm sure It'll work out."

"Yeah, yeah you're right."

-

Four days had passed since you woke up in Emily's room and there was practically no contact between you and Spencer. Except for when you texted him asking how things were going and his exact response was, "Working on it."

After you left the room that night he must have gotten more angry because he never acted this way towards you. You thought he might call after he left to explain, but there was nothing. When he said a break you thought a break from being near each other, but maybe he meant more. 

The team had been working overtime to find the unsub and it felt like you were so close. It was 9:00pm at the police department and you were sitting in a conference room alone when you decided your mind needed a small break. You got out your phone and decided you would call him. Regardless of how irritated he was, you were going to work it out eventually.

You tapped your foot as the phone rang and rang. The first time there was no answer. You thought of giving it a rest, but you really wanted to talk to him. No matter how mad he was, Spencer never ignored your calls.

You dialed his number again and this time there was a response on the second ring.

"Hellooo? This is Dr.Reid's phone." The woman's voice was slurred and it sounded strangely familiar.

"Who is this?"

"This is Austin, who is this?"

The bartender Spencer took the gala? You tried to compose yourself and think of why he would be with her. "This is y/n. Can I speak to Spencer please?"

"Y/n? Ohhh you're that girl I met at the FBI party thing!"

Before she could even finish talking you heard Spencer's voice in the background but it was muffled. It sounded like they were arguing over who should be holding the phone. After a few seconds Spencer was on the other end of the line. "What do you want y/n?"

You tried to keep your voice from cracking as your eyes started to water, "Spence...are you drunk?"

"What does it matter to you? You're the one who decided to leave."

"I was giving us space! I wanted to talk to you the next morning but you're the one who left. I-I thought you were seeing your mom."

He started to sound slightly more coherent, "I did see my mom, the day after I got here I ran into Austin. She's on vacation here so I've been staying with her since then."

"What? Did-did you-"

"Did I what y/n? Did I fuck her? It's not like you didn't do that with Hotch."

"What is wrong with you? We had an agreement about that and as soon as we started dating exclusively I pretty much cut him off, even as a friend."

"I don't have time for this."

"Just answer the question! Did you or did you not cheat on me?"

"It isn't cheating if we're taking a break."

"Fuck you Spencer." You hung up the phone and felt your stomach begin to turn. 

You wiped your eyes before speed walking to the bathroom, hoping nobody could tell you were crying. Once you were inside you ran into a stall, leaned over the toilet, and threw up. After a minute, you walked up to the sinks and started into the mirror. You tried to clean yourself up, tears and all. Even after wiping away your smudged mascara, your puffy eyes made it obvious. You took a few breaths and hoped nobody would mention it.

Immediately when you left the bathroom and entered the main area, Hotch called you over. "Y/n we got an anonymous tip-there's another body in the same river and a possible unsub. JJ and Morgan already left but the rest of us are headed over now." You nodded and followed him out of the police station.

-

"Robert Karlington, you have the right to remain silent" you said to him as you held one hand one his shoulder, the other on his handcuffed wrists. You led him from near the river back to the police car, Hotch right behind you and the rest of the team slightly further behind him. The unsub responded to your statement with a laugh.

The only thing he said was when you were pushing him into the back seat of the car. He smiled, "Nice to see you Agent Hotchner." You shut the door behind him and wondered why he would say that. You turned to ask Hotch but he was already headed back to everyone else.

-

Jefferson county was less than a 2 hour drive from DC, meaning the plane ride home was extremely short. You tried to relax on the flight but there was just too much on your mind. You stared out the window and thought about Spencer and what was going to happen between the two of you. You didn't want to give up on the relationship but it felt like he already had. Figuring it out when he got back still seemed like the best option to you. As your mind wandered you started to think about the unsub. Something didn't feel right about him. He fit the profile almost exactly, but something was off. Not to mention how strange it was that an anonymous tip was what led them to him. Who else was walking near the river that late at night anyways?

"Hey, everything good?" JJ's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You were probably just being dramatic anyways.

"I'm fine."

She rolled her eyes, "Y/n, why even bother trying to lie?"

"It's just a thing with Spencer. I'll be fine though I just don't really want to talk about it."

She still looked concerned, but her face softened. "Okay just know I'm always here to talk if you need it. We all are." She placed her hand on your shoulder and you looked up at her to nod.

-

When you returned to the BAU it was nearing 1am. Everyone except you and Morgan went straight to their cars to head home. After entering the building you sat down at your desk and opened your computer. He grabbed his things and asked if you wanted to walk out with him. You thanked him but declined and said you wanted to finish one last report before leaving.

That left you and maybe 2 other people on your floor of the building. You sat there for almost 25 minutes scrolling through cases, reports, and trying to do "research" though you knew it was nothing compared to what Penelope could've done. You knew there was something you missed, you just couldn't put your finger on it.

Right before giving up, everything clicked. You couldn't believe you didn't see it before, it seemed like it was sitting right in front of you. You hurried to turn off your computer, grab your keys, and run to your car.


	31. Plain Sight

You stood in front of the door you knew so well, deciding what your approach would be. You raised your knuckle, about to knock before retracting it back to your side. Rustling through your bag, you looked for the silver metal key you always kept with you.

After hearing the click indicating the door was now unlocked, you pushed it forward as slowly as possible to ensure it wouldn't creak. You shut it silently and tiptoed across the hardwood floors that led you through the living room and to the stairs. Everywhere was dark until you got to the top of the stairs, where you then pulled your gun out of its holster. Keeping it down at your side, you walked to the room at the end of the hallway. You noticed that all the other doors were left open with the lights off, meaning nobody else was home.

Deeply inhaling when you reached the only lit room, you peaked through the slightly open door. You saw him standing at the side of the bed, putting a jacket up on a hanger. Seeing he was about to turn in your direction, you shoved the door open and cocked your gun, pulling it in front of you with extended arms.

The noises alerted him, he whipped around and tensed up. His hand went to where his gun usually rested near his belt until he saw it was you. Relaxing his hand down to the side of his pants he nearly yelled at you, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Hotch." You tried to steady your breathing but your entire body was practically shaking. "Put your hands up."

His eyebrows raised, "Why?"

"You know why." You took a step, putting yourself farther from the doorway and closer to him.

He tilted his head but reluctantly raised his arms to be next to his head. "Care to tell me what this is about now?"

"Don't pretend to be fucking stupid. I know it was you, you killed those men and framed another." Your voice was unsteady when you spoke, every part of you hoping that you were somehow wrong.

"Okay y/n, I can explain. I know what it must look like but-"

"What does it look like? All the men who were killed were prosecuted by YOU! Not to mention you're the one who told us about the anonymous tip. The man we arrested knew your name, he knew you." You used your foot to kick the door shut behind you, making sure he couldn't run. "Jefferson county is only a few hours away, you easily could've crossed the border to dispose of the bodies. Out of all people, you would be the one to know how to commit a perfect crime. What possible explanation could you have for all that?"

"Y/n, you know I'm not a killer."

Your eyes began to water, "Do I really know anything about you?"

"I'm the same person you've always known. Please just let me explain." He took a step back and sat on the foot of his bed, never moving his arms down. You, however, didn't loosen your grip on your gun and kept it aimed at him.

"You have 2 minutes to explain before I call in backup."

"You were partially right, all the men who died were prosecuted by me years ago. They were all charged guilty on multiple counts of pedophilia and child molestation, but none of them served any time. The charges were expunged and their names were cleared." He paused, hoping you would begin to understand, but you held your ground. "Remember Gideon's victim book?" You nodded your head starting to think you knew where this was going. "I had something similar when I was a lawyer, but it wasn't for victims. It was for every person I proved guilty and their sentence. Those names that didn't face any consequences, they stuck with me."

"That's not an excuse to kill them! You have 30 seconds left."

"The man we arrested tonight, he's the one who killed them. He's not a hitman, he's one of them. I convinced him that if he helped me I would never bring up his case again. All I wanted was justice. But then he changed our terms." He sighed, "After the first murders he claimed to have evidence of our interactions. He said that unless I got rid of the bodies for him, he would turn me in. He wanted there to be just as much blood on my hands as there was his."

"That's where you went when you took time off. The bodies showed up right after you took a few days" you replied. "If Spencer was here he would've recognized those names from the court cases. And how did Penelope not see any of the files in her searches?"

His eyes averted your gaze, but he nodded. "I knew I was in too deep but I didn't know how to get out of it. There's no way for Reid or Garcia to ever have seen the files. After finding out they wouldn't be serving time, I had my name taken off of their documents." He must have seen how confused you looked because he added, "Tech analysts other than Garcia exist, you know." You rolled your eyes. "How did you find the connection between me and them anyways?"

You slowly put your gun back in its place on your belt, but kept a good distance between you two. "Something felt...off about how the unsub acted. He matched the profile, your profile, almost too much. When I got back to the office I went over the files to try and find something. When I looked at the names I realized two of them you had mentioned to me before. It was right after I started at the BAU, I was having dinner here after watching Jack one night. I asked you about the cases that were the hardest for you to deal with and those two names were included. That with your absences, your inability to get near the 'unsub', and the location all just fell into place for me."

He seemed impressed, you knew he didn't expect anyone to figure it out. The more you thought about it, the more you realized he covered every base. Without you, he probably would've gotten away with it. Profiling Hotch was the hardest out of everyone on the team, but you noticed while you were talking his attitude had changed. Specifically, when you mentioned Jack. "What happened with Jack?"

"What?"

"Don't make me pull my gun out again, Aaron. Just answer the question."

He looked up at you, "Jessica took him, three weeks ago. She got a new job a few towns over and couldn't keep watching him here. I did everything I could to convince her to stay, but she said she would go to court if she had to. I know I could've fought it, but who am I kidding? He's better off with her. He's been here for the weekends but that's all and...and it's just me now. I've lost everyone who's ever mattered."

Leaning forward, you placed your hand on his shoulder. Gently rubbing your thumb in circles, you spoke to him softly. "Aaron, I'm sorry." You couldn't help but to sit next to him on the bed. Jack mattered more than anything to him, and you could see how those old cases connected to that. In a way, he was just trying to finish the jobs he started.

Immediately after sitting, Aaron turned his head to rest it on your shoulder. Burying his head into the crook of your neck, he started to cry. You rubbed the back of his head and ran your fingers through his hair while he cried. Your other arm reached around his chest to hold him closer to you. Whatever he did, your feelings for him wouldn't just disappear. When his tears subsided, you grabbed his face and lifted it up off your shoulder. You ran your thumb across his cheek to wipe a tear and stared into his brown eyes you had missed so much.

And then you kissed him.


	32. Through the Looking Glass

And then you kissed him.

The second your lips met his, you felt heat rush through your body. There were no thoughts going through your mind, only your desperate need for him. Your hands found themselves resting on either side of Hotch's face, finding any way to be touching more of him. The kiss quickened and his tongue was soon pushing against yours.

Despite previously being afraid to make contact with any part of you other than your lips, his hands now gently sat on the upper part of your thighs. Without thinking, you wrapped one leg over both of his, making you straddle his lap. His mouth wandered down to your neck and you bit back a moan as he nibbled on your collarbone. You threw your head back in pleasure as he moved his face down towards your chest.

When the reality of your situation came crashing down on you, you pulled away for a moment. Not moving your hands and keeping his face only an inch away from yours, you whispered "Aaron I...I don't know if this will change anything."

His thumb traced circles on the side of your hip while he stared into your eyes. "I understand, y/n, I wouldn't expect it to. If you aren't comfortable with this, I completely understand I-"

You cut him off by smashing your lips against his once again, reassuring him that you wanted this. You had no clue what would happen after this but you didn't think you had the courage to turn him in. At the same time, how could you not? Regardless of what was going to happen an hour from now, you knew one thing. You wanted him and now, especially if it was your last chance to be with him.

Bringing yourself back into the moment, you grabbed his collar to pull him even closer to you. In response, he hurried to pull your shirt over your head and off your arms. You returned the favor by practically ripping through the buttons on his shirt and then tossing it across the room. You pushed him back so he was laying down and leaned over to continue kissing him. He reached an arm behind your back and unclipped your bra, pulling it off of you immediately after.

Your lips explored every part of him, moving from his ear, across his jawline, and down his neck. Hotch reached his hand down and rested it over your pants, between your thighs. His touch you had so easily forgotten ignited something in you that you could not explain. You felt warmth growing in your core and you hurried to pull your pants off.

Still straddling him while laying down, you separated your mouth from his body and locked your eyes with his. Grinding your hips against him, you could feel his erection growing beneath his pants.

You tilted your head down so close that the side of his nose touched yours, and as you heard his breath get heavier, your movements quickened. Not stopping, you squeezed your eyes shut and gently bit down on your lip, so close to having what you truly wanted.

Your eyes opened at the touch of his hand against your cheek. He spoke softly, "You have no idea what you do to me."

You couldn't help but smile and lean down for another kiss. You almost gasped when he flipped you over so that he was on top of you. This time his hand went beneath your underwear, sliding along your slit and resting on your clit for not nearly long enough. You let a small moan slip out of your lips at the touch.

His thumb ran over your bottom lip before sliding inside your mouth where you were more than eager to suck on it. "I've missed hearing those pretty little noises."

After he said that you felt a slight throbbing between your legs and knew you were getting wetter. Hotch proceeded to get off the bed and stand at the edge of it before pulling you, who was still laying down, to the end of it. He hurried to take his pants off, then his underwear, freeing his hard cock.

He took his length in hand and rubbed the tip slowly over your underwear. He increased the pressure which caused your back to arch and your head to roll back. Hardly being able to form a sentence the only thing you said was, "Oh god, Aaron please!"

Sensing your desperation, he pulled your underwear off and lined himself up at your entrance. Taking no time, he slammed himself inside of you, a feeling you hated to admit how much you missed. He grabbed your ankle and placed it on his shoulder, allowing him to go even deeper inside of you.

He licked his thumb then placed it on your clit, the only movement it received was the shaking of your body from his thrusts. After a minute, he slowed his pace and started to move his thumb in gentle circles. You saw his other hand that was leaning on the bed next to you for support, and intertwined your fingers with his.

In between breaths you practically whined, "You feel so good inside of me." You started to feel your legs shake the slightest bit and prepared to climax, until he removed his thumb. "Aaron!" He smiled at you but returned his thumb to the spot that was so sensitive and this time moved it side to side, faster than before.

You felt him starting to throb inside of you and knew he was about to finish. Letting go of every worry you had, you let the heat that grew inside of you finally explode. You felt his cum inside of you and your entire body shook, causing you to shove the side of your face into the bed.

He pulled out then collapsed on the bed next to you, both of you still panting.

After a minute, he turned to face you and gave you a knowing look. You began to speak unsure of what you would say, "I-I don't. Aaron..."

"You have to turn me in, y/n. I know you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't. But just know, I understand, and it's one of the reasons I love you."

You could've sworn you heard his voice crack towards the end which made you want to cry. There were no words for what you felt other than confused. It seemed like that was all you had been feeling lately.

"But-but what if I didn't? What if I didn't turn you in?" You watched him, unsure of how he would respond and waited for an answer.

"After this, I don't think I'll ever be able to return to the BAU. You're all my family, but as your family I need to protect you. I don't want to cause anyone anymore hurt and if something turns up a few years from now revealing this...situation, it would be too much for the whole team to watch me get locked away. For me and them. The only option I'd have is leaving, going somewhere where nobody knows me."

You nodded in agreement, realizing that regardless of what you chose to do, this would most likely be one of the last times you ever saw him. You rested your arm over his chest and turned your head into the side of his arm, trying to hide your tears.

"Y/n, you can stay here with me as long as you'd like. But when you're ready, call the police. Tell them to come here and arrest me, and I'll go peacefully. I may have made some mistakes, but I'm not a killer and I'm not one of the unsubs we catch. I won't act like them and I promise I'll stay with you until I'm put in the back of that police car."

You thought of proposing a plan to leave with him, where both of you could run away and leave everything here behind. You seriously considered it, but then you thought of Spencer. You knew that if he forgave you for tonight, you could forgive him. Every memory of Spence flew through your mind, reminding you why you chose him to begin with. But they were all followed by the doubts, the arguments, and the wondering what life with Hotch would be like.

As if he could read your mind, Hotch asked you a question that changed everything. "What would you think if I did leave? If I resigned from the BAU tomorrow and made arrangements to live in some other country, would you come with me?"

After everything you had gone through, you found yourself at the same place you were months ago, stuck with a choice that seemed impossible to make.


	33. And in the End

A moment of silence passed. He sat up, lifting you up with him, your arms never leaving his body.

"I shouldn't have asked that, I know it's not fair. I think a selfish part of me wanted to know you would choose me this time, if it were between him and I again." Hotch kissed your forehead then stood up and began putting his clothes back on. "What I said still stands, whenever you're ready the phone is here for you to make the call."

You stayed still at the edge of the bed. You felt tears pricking your eyes and your throat stung, "Just, um, let me go clean up." Walking towards the bathroom attached to his bedroom, you picked up one of Aaron's sleep shirts that was on his dresser, then closed the door behind you. You pulled the shirt over your head and sat down on the toilet.

After washing your hands you leaned over the sink, hands resting on the counter. You splashed cool water on your face and tried to steady your breathing. When you flicked off the bathroom light and opened the door, the bedroom was empty.

You knew he wouldn't leave, he wouldn't try to trick you. There was no way the last thing he did would be hurting you. Regardless, your heart started beating faster and you walked across the room to the hallway.

"Aaron?" you called out. It only took you a few seconds to find him though—when you entered the hallway you saw the light on in Jack's bedroom. When you entered the room, you saw Hotch standing at the foot of Jack's bed. The room wasn't completely empty, but it wasn't the same as it used to be. His bed was neatly made and his favorite blanket gone, the shelves no longer cluttered with toys.

There was nothing you could say to make him feel better and you knew that. Instead, you walked over and stood next to him. You laced your fingers with his and leaned your head against his shoulder. You waited for him to say something, anything to break the silence but there was nothing.

The silence was comfortable and despite knowing what he had done, you felt more safe than ever.

"That day you and Spencer ended up in the hospital, I asked for him first you know. I only saw you first because-"

"Y/n I don't need to hear this."

"Yes you do. When I got inside the hospital I had no idea what I would say. The words just fell out of my mouth and to be honest, I hardly remember it." You glanced up at him but his face didn't move. "I told you I chose him and you told me to go see him. The second I stepped out of that room I wanted to turn around, but I knew I couldn't. I had to make a choice, it wasn't fair to keep changing my mind. The truth is, the only thing that changed my mind was Jack. You know how much I care about him, but I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough to be a real family with you two. With Spencer, it was simple. Safe. So I picked the easy way out."

Hotch turned to face you. "You know how much Jack loves you, it would be impossible for you to let him down. Or me."

"I-I know but I was afraid of how different it would be. All the time I spent with the two of you was perfect. If we were in a real relationship what if that changed? I wouldn't want it to feel like I was replacing Haley."

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, "Haley will always be Jack's mom, and she'll always hold a special place in my heart. But I don't think she would want us to live in the past forever. She would want us to be happy." He leaned down and gave you a soft kiss, then rested his forehead against yours. "I understand now, I know you were doing what you thought was best for me. I don't want you to ever regret that decision. You and Reid still have time, you can have a good life with him."

You shook your head, "I'm not leaving you, I'm not making that same mistake again."

"Y/n you have to-"

"No, Aaron. I know you think us being apart would be doing me a favor. But this is what's best for me, you are what's best for me." You stared up at him, waiting for a response.

His arms found their way to your lower back and he pulled you closer to him. He whispered into your ear, "What did I ever do to deserve you."

-

It was nearing 6am and you had just finished helping Hotch pack his clothes and some personal items. You knew the chances of him getting caught were low, but you could never be too safe. The two of you made a plan for him to leave the country on whatever flight he could find and you would meet him in a few weeks.

Convincing the team nothing was wrong would be difficult, which you both were aware of. Hotch was going to resign and tell Strauss the stress of his family problems with Jessica and Jack were too much, and that he needed a change of pace. You would have to act surprised with the rest of the team and after about a month tell them things were too complicated after your whole dating situation. It wasn't a perfect plan, but it was the best you and Aaron could do in a few hours.

Sitting on the bed next to Hotch's suitcase, you glanced at your phone sitting on his dresser for the third time in the past 10 minutes. He raised his eyebrows at you, "Call him, y/n. You're going to have to eventually."

You sighed, "I know, I wish I didn't though."

You stood up and grabbed the phone, taking it into the hallway. You dialed Spencer's phone number but froze before clicking the call button. Flashbacks rushed through your mind and you couldn't believe it was less than 24 hours ago when you last called him. When Austin picked up and he didn't deny cheating on you. You took a deep breath, then pressed "call".

It rang a few times before you heard his voice on the other end, "Y/n?"

"Spence...I-I just wanted to say we're done. For real this time, not just a break, and not so we can get back together in 2 weeks." You sniffled, "I did love you, but once we started dating you changed. You're not the Spencer Reid I fell in love with. I miss the old you but I know it's not fair to ask you to change. So I have to let you go for good."

When he spoke again you could sense the worry in his voice, "Y/n, please. I know I messed up but we can work it out like we always do."

"I just can't do this anymore, I'm sorry. Goodbye Spencer." Before he had the chance to say anything else, you hung up the phone. A tear fell down your cheek and you quickly wiped it away before returning to the bedroom.

Despite letting go of one of the most important people in your life, you felt lighter, more free. You leaned against the doorframe, watching Hotch zip up his suitcase and check the room to make sure he had everything. In that moment, you couldn't help but smile thinking about the life you were about to have with the person you loved most.


	34. Til Death do us Part

Standing in your kitchen, you leaned forward and opened the window that sat above the sink. You gazed out of it and stared in awe at the Italian countryside in front of you. Taking in a deep breath of the fresh air, you felt your shoulders relax and you shut your eyes.

They opened a few moments later to the sound of the front door opening and an "I'm home!"

Hotch entered the kitchen and set a small bag of groceries on the counter. He walked over to behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. He gave you a kiss on the cheek, "How was your day?"

You smiled and leaned gently back against him, "It was good, I went to see that new art gallery I was telling you about."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm"

You unpacked the bag he recently brought inside and got out a cutting board. You told him more about the art, then he talked about his walk to the farmers market while putting a pot of water on the stove. The conversation continued as you grabbed ingredients and he put pasta in the pot. One of your favorite traditions the two of you had made was having pasta and eating dinner outside every Sunday.

As you chopped up basil and garlic, you admired the diamond that sat on your left ring finger.

It had been 6 months since you moved from DC to Tuscany, Italy. When the team heard the news about Hotch leaving, they were upset but understood because of the circumstances with Jack. When it came to you though, they begged you to stay. It broke your heart to know you couldn't tell them the truth about leaving, but you did what you had to to protect Aaron.

The move wasn't nearly as hard as you expected it to be, you made sure to only bring the essentials. Between you and Hotch, you had enough money saved up to live comfortably for a few years. Still, you both planned to get jobs within the next few months.

The hardest part was not having Jack there with you. After talking to Jessica multiple times, the three of you worked out an agreement. Every winter you and Hotch would go back to Virginia and stay with them over the holidays. It would allow you to see Jack, your family, and your friends from the BAU. In return, Jack would spend the summer in Europe with you two.

As for Spencer, you didn't try to forget him like you thought you would. The last time you saw him, he apologized for hurting you and acting the way he did. He said there was nothing he wanted more than for you to be happy. You knew a part of you would always love him, but you also knew you weren't meant to be together. Leaving on good terms made you feel better—it reassured you that the Spencer Reid you had been friends with for so many years was still there, and that was the version of him you chose to remember.

The food was ready now, and you poured two glasses of wine while Hotch filled your plates with food. The two of you walked outside and sat at the table on your back porch.

You sat there eating, drinking, talking, and watching the sunset over the rolling grass hills. You observed the way Aaron's face moved when he talked, the way the golden light reflected on his skin, the hand gestures he made, and all the mannerisms you had fallen in love with.

He stopped for a minute when he noticed you watching him, "What?"

You let out a small laugh and shook your head, "Nothing." You leaned across the table and kissed him on the lips, while one of his hands reached out to hold your cheek. "I love you Aaron, there's nobody I'd rather be here with."

"I love you too, y/n." He started kissing you again and like so many other times, your mind went blank at his touch.

You sat there kissing him, consumed by the love you felt for each other, excited for the possibilities of the future. Because you knew that wherever life took you, it would be perfect as long as you were with him.

The End


End file.
